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Fckd up inside.

- Tue, 22 Sep 2020 22:46:24 EST B1xbQxm+ No.536247
File: 1600829184717.jpg -(82780B / 80.84KB, 374x624) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Fckd up inside.
It is mostly emptiness, apathy, sometimes I feel hate towards my surroundings, people and myself, sometimes I feel hurt. But mostly I feel a void, I have a new girlfriend and I am afraid I am going to ghost her since I am pretty sure I cannot bring anything to the table, I feel like a worthless human. Sometimes I think about killing myself, I do not want to blew it with my new GF but I am starting to have the symptoms again, just like I did with previous possible relationships that I was never able to solidify. I am already more than 30 years old and never ever had a relationship for more than 4 months. I do not know if this has anything to do with the fact that I was sexually abused as a child but I also tend to close myself sexually, I feel sexually crippled. I am a woman, so is really easy for me to make her cum, however I do not let her touch me not even emotionally, she has been very patient but I do not know how to fix myself, I have never do so and I am afraid of losing her. I've drinking a lot just so I don't have to think about it.
Walter Clinnerwin - Tue, 22 Sep 2020 23:09:28 EST /a0EWK+P No.536248 Reply
You probably want a boyfriend
User is currently banned from all boards
Henry Nunkinlot - Tue, 22 Sep 2020 23:25:46 EST jBTq5UYW No.536256 Reply
1600831546125.jpg -(25243B / 24.65KB, 400x400) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
I'm just an idiot, although it seems like you're placing a lot of import on her and are focusing hard on making that the something good in your life. I smoke, but hurting yourself via drink, while offering control, means you're letting yourself go. It's hokey but having some hobby or something where you have control might help. I would avoid musical instruments though
Albert Crillywater - Mon, 28 Sep 2020 16:26:38 EST LQ4VvGPH No.536295 Reply
You need therapy, not advice from anonymous drug addicts online.
Rebecca Demmlebetch - Mon, 28 Sep 2020 20:59:45 EST TEWT/Z/6 No.536298 Reply
Yeah fuck that's rough. Yeah therapy would be great. You dont need to fixate on this one GF or your inability to have a relationship
Instead focus on your own health.

Also take some MDMA and let her fuck you haha sorry
Jack Goddlecocke - Wed, 30 Sep 2020 14:26:47 EST 1SSFeKJF No.536305 Reply
Echoing get therapy. We can't fix you or help that, we can recommend steps that would help. don't be afraid to shop around with therapists. Give them a session or two but if you don't think they'll work for you try someone else.

You probably can't help yourself alone but if you take steps to improve yourself you're already a better person than you were. This isn't your fault that you're messed up like this but it's up to you to start the process of healing.

The bar for a good partner is disgustingly low, if you are actively trying to not be a broken piece of crap you're already better than most people. This is out our pay grade but get help. You know the current path isn't going anywhere good so time to change.
Matilda Madgekutch - Sat, 03 Oct 2020 13:06:43 EST SaMVdeEG No.536322 Reply
> The bar for a good partner is disgustingly low, if you are actively trying to not be a broken piece of crap you're already better than most people

Incredibly true.
William Goodham - Sat, 03 Oct 2020 22:23:17 EST EYDoYbIH No.536323 Reply

But that's the difference between a piece of shit and someone who can be redeemed. Just trying to change. It's not much. You just have to try.

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