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I just don't get it

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- Thu, 09 Dec 2021 23:51:34 EST DMPOlzSV No.541475
File: 1639111894625.png -(429B / 429bytes, 43x16) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. I just don't get it
My life owns and I hate it

I abandonned my family because it sucked, and fell into the military. A buddy in armored recon said it'd be a good idea, and I ended up joining the navy instead of the army. It's been very lucrative. Even now I have 60k in savings before hitting 30. But something is missing. I can pay for all my vices, and I have not had wont for money for a few years. Even before that, I was poor, but was able to pay bills with only a loan here and there that I could pay back, though at the time I was eating out of dumpsters and trash cans. What I do for the crown now is basically a mix of internal help desk shit and radio ops crap, but not any of the exciting sigint/infosec stuff.

I used to have hobbies, but lost them. I liked playing with level editors, but "level design is not game dev" and all that. I like to sew, but it's hard to sew whole garments, and just doing repairs loses meaning once you've fixed all your stuff. I used to cook and bake, but when you don't have events to make truffles for and are a single man, there's no sense going all out. I've made fruit wine, but that's just setting stuff in a bucket and drinking it later.


I make literally more money than I can possibly spend. I get drunk every day and still run a surplus. it's not a humble-brag; I just live very cheaply, and being single means I have nothing to spend money on. Really, I sleep in trash and spend my off-hours lamenting.

I drink a lot, and I don't really know what I'm asking for with this post, but surely there is more to life
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Martha Cenkinchut - Fri, 10 Dec 2021 00:04:30 EST iwLkUvRi No.541477 Reply
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>>541475
>I get drunk every day
if you want change, you have to change what you do. if you want to find out more of what you want and who you are, you're going to be waiting a long time if you keep embracing vices. that money will disappear very quickly with booze and other shit, and youll only have a broken body at the end of it.
you want more to life?
d0p@m1ne ph@5t... people will shit on it here because they're little bitches, little fucking pussy ass miserable bitches, but this shit actually works. they're too scared and too proud to try it. because it might actually work. give it a shot. figure out what it is from this guy i'm posting, then sit there literally doing nothing. change your lifestyle to a lower stimulation one. eventually what you want will make itself apparent to you. listen that and nothing else. don't waste away in the dark
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1oI2e0s6xDc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KcrPCkC7qYk
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Caroline Bronnerfield - Fri, 10 Dec 2021 00:09:40 EST DMPOlzSV No.541479 Reply
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>>541477
I'm in the worst shape of my life in getting more into my job, and only ascend and make more money the better I get at the less physical stuff. An old boss-of-next-guys-over I had does a lot of SCA stuff and I'd like to pick up a lucerne hammer and throw down with them; I bet that'd be more useful than whatever crypto self help junk you're getting at
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Caroline Bronnerfield - Fri, 10 Dec 2021 00:17:20 EST DMPOlzSV No.541480 Reply
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I don't wish I hadn't, but I feel bad about abandoning everyone. I could have done better. I could have studied better and worked in a lab somewhere. Failing dropping out of that, maybe I could have stuck with electrical engineering. Failing that, I should have stuck with interactive media and gone into advertising or something.Even joining the military, I should have stayed local. Even moving away, I could have come home sooner, or sent money home at least. I came from a major canadian city. There's so much more I could have done. Instead, here I am, pretending to be a sysadmin for a brown-water navy. Ain't doin shit. But then again, I have 60k in savings and have never had wont for money since moving away, and even before, the only debt I had was to a buddy who every time I offered to pay back said no.

Even when I go to sea, not that I have any real deployment under my belt other than some police action, the thing that always makes me cry is asking "What the fuck am I even doing here? I've gone so far away from home, and for what?"
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Caroline Bronnerfield - Fri, 10 Dec 2021 00:21:12 EST DMPOlzSV No.541481 Reply
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So long since we fell, still don't know we failed.

Left there in lead chains, still there since next year, skull full of house guests.
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Caroline Bronnerfield - Fri, 10 Dec 2021 01:05:47 EST DMPOlzSV No.541483 Reply
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I'm fantasizing ahead towards whatever will happen after op reassurance, and I want to reject whatever medal or clasp I'll get. I want to see the face the base chief or CCFL or whoever will make when I get called up, walk up, salute, and say I reject that medal. That I refuse that award, since nothing I'll have done had been useful to anyone. "No, sir." Can you refuse medals? I already have one. Can I give it back? It was for sitting about during police action. Not that I'm getting sappy over blm or some shit, but even the one I got, it's not deserved. I didn't do a fucking thing to get it. I just sat around while american LEOs did all the real work, and even on the ship, I didn't do anything important. In fact, I was slotted on last-minute, so I didn't even have admin credentials and mostly just reloaded crypto devices no one used. I wasn't even supposed to have an account on the key loader.

I hate it. when I went on my last career course, someone not our usual instructor ran the first day's orientation stuff. She saw my name and said something like "Oh you, aren't you, like, The Guy to see in the Nest?" That was incredibly threatening. I might answer a lot of e-mails in a day, but I shouldn't be "the guy" in any sense. What did it mean? Even today, it was a little snowy, and I texted my boss "I might be delayed"; he called me on the spot and said I'm the one guy he actually needs in. Sure I have some passwords, but really? Servers are fucked today, and will be for a while. I have no clue what's going on, and the office is a mess of binders and laptops I can't sort out. I might not have the training in it, but no one else does either, and they all do so much better at it.
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Caroline Bronnerfield - Fri, 10 Dec 2021 02:44:46 EST DMPOlzSV No.541488 Reply
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>>541487
Duty-free gin is pretty great. You know, from the surface of the sea, it's hard to see borders. I guess that's why they let us buy booze on the cheap every time we're out for more than two days and further off than twenty-five miles. It's just one of the perks that keeps me from abandonning yet another thing.
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Caroline Bronnerfield - Fri, 10 Dec 2021 03:09:45 EST DMPOlzSV No.541489 Reply
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I fucking hate that I can't do shit at work since I don't have authorization to do most things, and lack documentation to properly do anything else.

Test environments? Staging? What's that?

I thought to ask to buy a big pile of network test gear, but really, what's the point? It's enough of a fight to just get engineering drawings of what the infra is supposed to be like; we're actually not even allowed to manage switch whitelists locally anymore. And before you think it's something with me, it's actually a fleet-wide thing. Here I am thinking I should get some tone generators and some basic visual fault finders, but what's the point when we're not even allowed to manage our own L3 shit? But then whenever anything goes wrong, who gets yelled at by the CO? Well, not me directly, but I have to go home feeling bad since my boss who is literally not even allowed to have admin credentials gets yelled at on my behalf, and I only "got made" like last month, working a Master Seaman/Mat Chef position as a newly minted Leading/Mat1. Like, new enough that it is literally impossible to protmote me again for another three years and glhf getting it for like ten. The Nest is a great place to be a big fish in a small pond, but it turns out that no matter how big a fish you are, you're still a pet fish in a tank

I should have fuckin gone armored recon, or at least ATIS or something up in St. Hubert
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Caroline Bronnerfield - Fri, 10 Dec 2021 03:23:27 EST DMPOlzSV No.541490 Reply
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But hey, you know what? At least I only have to bring my own binos when I'm working the flag deck, and when I have to do force protection, I get handed a rifle with an ELCAN fitted onto it the right way. Sometimes. I usually get magazines. I only have to ask "Are we safe to train, or safe to fight?" every time. Then again, last time, I got a rifle and no magazines, and when I asked what's up, I had to share my ammo, and never got a straight answer on whether we were Safe To Train or Safe To Fight, and had to inspect my own mags to see "Oh shit, you gave me live ammo" and had to ask "Wait, are you expecting something? These are live rounds. We're here on a training assignment. I don't feel it's safe for others around me if I load with this. I've read the threat assessment and it says all threat is low or negligible and our FP intention message didn't mention standing up an armed presence"

hahahahhahahahahahha jk I didn't ask the question I just didn't load the rifle and breathed a big sigh of relief when they asked the FP element to come back in and it turned out to just be training during an actual exit of a real harbour
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Caroline Bronnerfield - Fri, 10 Dec 2021 03:26:54 EST DMPOlzSV No.541491 Reply
Not that I'm uncomfortable with live rounds or anything, but giving people that when you're doing training shit is a horrible tragedy waiting to happen.
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Caroline Bronnerfield - Fri, 10 Dec 2021 03:40:35 EST DMPOlzSV No.541492 Reply
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where I work is stupid and i fucking hate it
it's all little stuff but it occasonally manifests in objectively dangerous ways. one day it's just a server crash, but the next it's issuing live ammo in a weird envrionment. some days it's just some weird kerberos issues, the next it's completely losing data link coverage over an an entire sea. it's bad. it could be better. even I, a dumbass, could make it better, but no
today it's missing nav lights. tomorrow, a helicopter crashes. no one asks why or how
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Martha Cenkinchut - Fri, 10 Dec 2021 03:46:00 EST iwLkUvRi No.541493 Reply
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Make sure you drink lots of water, and watch those videos above. Snake Diet Man might smack some sense into you.. He is legit as fuck
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Caroline Bronnerfield - Fri, 10 Dec 2021 03:49:42 EST DMPOlzSV No.541494 Reply
>>541493
>snake diet
I've never eaten snake. we don't do sere bullshit in the navy. how's snake taste?
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Ian Draffingfack - Fri, 10 Dec 2021 06:32:55 EST k4mse6iE No.541499 Reply
>>541475
>I get drunk every day
>I have 60k in savings before hitting 30.
Quitting alcohol will help, even for a month, to give you space to sort out what you really want to be doing now that you're here in the future.*

*If you can't quit alcohol for a month, that's a problem.
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Cornelius Goodbury - Fri, 10 Dec 2021 10:07:52 EST 2YcMB987 No.541506 Reply
>>541475
Exercise a little bit my dude, you will at least feel less shitty since it releases dopamine or something like that, is helping me a lot now that in going trough shitty times
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Cedric Buzzway - Fri, 10 Dec 2021 10:22:01 EST n8DIpFa7 No.541507 Reply
>>541506
And it will help to control the glucose spikes from all that alcohol, OP.
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Basil Dackledon - Sat, 11 Dec 2021 20:44:35 EST DMPOlzSV No.541526 Reply
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>>541506
I used to bike, but after moving to the coast, all the bikes I get seem to disintegrate as I ride them. I had one where both wheels seized against the frame at once; I couldn't help but stomp it and throw it in an alley. Even before I moved, it was a constant struggle to keep a bike rideable. I actually missed a night at the reserve unit one day since I biked for about two blocks, and the brakes gave out. The front seized, and the back refused to engage. I had to call in through tears saying I just wouldn't be there that evening. I held myself as best as I could, but before and after that call, to be honest, it was an adult tantrum. Why can't any bike I own just work? For everyone else, the Canadian Tire Specials just work fine. I maintain my shit, lubing up the chain and gears and adjusting the derailleur and protecting the brake cables, but then just, the one time I need it to work, NO

That's how it always is, nothing ever fucking works. Everything is so reliable for everyone else. The second I need something of mine to work, it doesn't.

Even last week, just babysitting the servers, everything looked ok. There was just a short blackout on either end of a good week or a bad week. Blackout happens, servers don't come up properly. The e-mail server fails because of some Kerberos error. Do I know what Kerberos is? Partially. Do I have the authority or training to do anything about it in confidence? Fuck no. Best guess I have is that it has to do with time discrepancy for key exchange, but I can't confirm it, and good luck explaining that to my boss, let alone command.

I was talking to a senior buddy(ish?) who came down to respond to all the hundreds of tickets I must've sent in recently. Somehow it came up that he said "Are you getting burnt out on IT?" I told him, in complete honesty, or at least not complete because I lied about my emotions and not the context, that I hate that everything that goes wrong that I could conceivably fix is stuff I either have no authorization to touch, or the documentation on stuff I am allowed to touch is so poor that I have no idea what I'm touching.
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Basil Dackledon - Sat, 11 Dec 2021 20:50:52 EST DMPOlzSV No.541527 Reply
Am I expecting too much of myself? I don't think I am. Everything is so easy for everyone else. I even have a junior now who's progressing faster than I ever did. Am I jealous? Fuck yeah I am. Not because he'll probably be at my rank as soon as it's possible, but because it took me so long to do as well. Everyone should be like that. It makes me feel bad that I'm not.
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Basil Dackledon - Sun, 12 Dec 2021 00:18:20 EST DMPOlzSV No.541528 Reply
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I want to have a real, professonal conversaton with my commanding officer. I want to tell him that I can't do whatever it is he wants me to do. I'm a newly minted LS in a billet normally reserved for an experienced Master. I like to proudly say that I'm working well above my pay grade, but there's just so much I can't do: on the one hand it's lots of stuff I'm not allowed to touch and I can't help him no matter what he signs because the stuff it is is at a level far above us gods die and forget to leave us documentation on what they did. It fucking sucks to have someone flag me down in the flats going "I can't get into my E-Mail!" and all I can say is "Yeah; It's a known issue; a ticket is in; it's something to do with key management I think but I'm not really sure. I've done all I can do."


I've done all I can do. Is that really enough? Yeah I only just got made, but is that it? Is whatever I've done all I can do? The engineers are out here rebuilding engines on their own, and I'm not even allowed to replace onboard cmos batteries. I feel so useless.

Even for the CO, he wants spare laptops. When he asked, I instantly gave some noncomittal answer. I know we only have eight slots on the whitelist for hard workstations. They're all filled up, and we have the newest gaggle of workstations we can get from higher up. It's not up to me to modify the whitelist, and even imaging old computers is a huge pain because of enterprisey bullshit. Is that all I can do?
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Basil Dackledon - Sun, 12 Dec 2021 00:51:04 EST DMPOlzSV No.541529 Reply
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But
Like they say, life isn't like boxing. The man who gets beaten down isn't the loser. It's the man who doesn't get back up, he's the one who really loses.

In life there aren't KOs. You don't chop a finger off to pay for debt, and there's no game-over screens either. As much as I complain, I get to complain, and even if it it's not so glamourous, I carry on. I've eaten from trash cans before, but lately I've been to fancy restaurants.

But still, is that all I can do?
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Lydia Sesslenore - Tue, 18 Jan 2022 04:23:56 EST DMPOlzSV No.541836 Reply
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Hate to bump a dead thread but I still wanna talk to my CO and just tell him about his SLA. That he does not have one. Being the local IT nerd has fantastic return-on-resume but I dread going back to work because there is an expectation that I can just fix anything super easily. I can't. I do not have that expertise. A lot has come up in the past few months, and it's all really stupid, and has to do with stuff I have no control over. Even this past month, I've been on vacation, and stuff has come up and they really expect me to even care. My actual last day at work was some forced fun dinner thing, and I was getting emails about Log4J as if I even know what half the CVE page means. (Even showed it to my boss and he didn't have a clue and even responded like "lol like they expect us to care"!)

And it turns out the weird kerberos stuff never got resolved either; our time server is bunk and the architecture is unrobust to put it lightly. shit recently went down and did not come back up gracefully and my assumption is because of time mismatches so no one gets email until it syncs.


I want to go to my CO and tell him. tell him that whatever IT support he expects, it's because I'm personally a nerd, and I am not that well versed in it, and should not expect any real help given my rank and training. He has some entitlement to dogs of the shogunate, and I am such a dog, but the dogs are not so well trained in computer shit. Anything I've been able to help him with has been happenstance and luck. I don't want to go back on the job after leave being expected to be some computer wizard since what little I do know is out of my hands and what little I do know isn't anything trained as standard. I don't want to get back on the job on my first day back and just go "Well, I dunno, dude. I don't have my MSCA or whatever." Already I have juniors texting me about webdev shit and because it's winter it seems like the servers hard crash every day from power loss. The fuck am I supposed to do about it? I fucking hate computers so much.
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Lydia Sesslenore - Tue, 18 Jan 2022 05:45:36 EST DMPOlzSV No.541837 Reply
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is anyone unfortunate enough to join the military doomed to go straight to hell?
I've never been a good person, but I'm no mercenary; was I doomed to protect and fight with my tiny soul just because I was unlucky enough to get a job in the so-called profession of arms? my judo isn't very good, I only did a couple semesters of "self defence" aikido for gym credits in college like ten years ago
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Charles Dizzlewid - Tue, 18 Jan 2022 06:06:56 EST BHtN0HP8 No.541838 Reply
>>541837
>is anyone unfortunate enough to join the military doomed to go straight to hell?
I've used the phrase "believe pentagon lies" many times in my life. You were tricked by powerful people with lots of experience.
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Lydia Sesslenore - Tue, 18 Jan 2022 06:31:16 EST DMPOlzSV No.541841 Reply
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>>541838
I joined solely for money. I joined just because I needed a job at the time, and they called back first
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Charles Dizzlewid - Tue, 18 Jan 2022 07:05:16 EST BHtN0HP8 No.541842 Reply
>>541841
So did the people you signed up to go kill.

Apologize.
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Martha Honeyhall - Tue, 18 Jan 2022 09:13:46 EST YrX3+HFr No.541843 Reply
>>541842
no the people he signed up to kill believed they were defending their homeland against American invaders

Anyway dude this is waht's called an existential crisis, read Man's Search for Meaning, you can also listen to the audiobook free on youtube and donate the money you would have spent on it to some charity since you can afford to buy it but the author is dead so the money would only go to publishers
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Beatrice Gessleshit - Tue, 18 Jan 2022 10:51:17 EST v9KLSbfZ No.541845 Reply
>>541843
>America just flew over my house
Fuck off, politics boy.

War is made by soldiers who believe lies. Universally. Anyone who suggests there's a nationalism component either doesn't understand what wars and soldiers are or is trying to make you believe bullshit for political reasons.
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Martha Ponningfuck - Thu, 20 Jan 2022 06:29:33 EST DMPOlzSV No.541856 Reply
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>>541842
>So did the people you signed up to go kill.
I have no combat experience, let alone kills, and have never even participated in a major weapons firing against a real target. Haven't even participated in a weapons firing of something that isn't a self-defence weapon, even for training. no missile fires, no naval guns, nothing bigger than .50 MG firing. If I ever really have to fire in anger, well, at that point it's just me and them, two agents trapped in a situation beyond our control, and any politics don't matter anymore and it's just a self-defence scenario then.

Plus, being in the navy specifically, it's exceedingly unlikely I'll ever even take part in engaging some third world country. Especially so given my trade, since 99.9% of my job is babysitting server and radio racks.

In fact, when I fantasize about "force protection" scenarios, I figure my first thing to say to wave them off should be something like "We're not here to kill eachother; you have your objective and I have mine, and it probably doesn't involve opening fire. opening a firefight isn't going to do anything for either of us. I'd rather not open a firefight with you uselessly, whether I win or lose." Granted, that kind of stuff would be delivered from a ship, which is ample with heavy/high cover to shout from without shooting anybody. Couldn't imagine an infantryman bothering with something like that

>Apologize.
How about someone ever apologize to me? I would never have joined the military had my situation never been so dire. I'd much rather get another job. I hate sailing, and I hate the tech structure of the military.

>>541845
>War is made by soldiers who believe lies. Universally.
if it makes you feel better, I only have one medal and it's for participating in police action. and for the whole operation, I was super checked out and basically spent the whole time playing secretary and reading about Powershell. any time i go out to sea, I don't consider it "making war" or whatever. That's for the much happier lifers. I joined because there weren't any other jobs at the time, and have no loyalty to the force beyond the money I make and my petty feelings of wanting to make my coworkers lives easier. I got hired by a corporation to do something, so I may as well do it.
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Lydia Subberman - Thu, 20 Jan 2022 07:35:03 EST fzLf8jG8 No.541858 Reply
>>541856
>participating in police action
Isn't that what they called the Vietnam WAR?

How can you say "I wasn't in a war, I was in a police action" and not know for a fact at this point you've believed lies to get where you are? I don't understand how there are people as thick headed as this.
>any time i go out to sea, I don't consider it "making war" or whatever.
That's what I'm saying, you believe fully in your superiority and your right to do what you did. You had no right. You believed lies, and therefore will defend what you did, but in the end, you're nothing but a gullible kid who was faced with becoming an adult and decided to take Option B.
>I would never have joined the military had my situation never been so dire.
Just like the people you signed up to go kill.

Now apologize.
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Martha Ponningfuck - Thu, 20 Jan 2022 08:00:16 EST DMPOlzSV No.541859 Reply
>>541858
>Isn't that what they called the Vietnam WAR?
no, that was an actual war against "the communists", and well before my time.
The only real operation I was on was an anti-piracy/anti-drug (lol) one. Warfare is waged against a state. The one op I was on was enforcement of national laws. And even then, I didn't do very much, and that particular rotation was a failure anyway.

>You believed lies, and therefore will defend what you did, but in the end, you're nothing but a gullible kid who was faced with becoming an adult and decided to take Option B. Now apologize.
Are you really saying that what I've done so wrong is join the military at all, and have to apologize for it when I only did so because it's the only job available, and I've already said I feel no loyalty to the force and generally hate my job and don't believe in it?

Am I not making it clear enough that I don't like being in the military and would prefer doing something else? I'm doing nothing but complaining about being in this outfit; why does this make you mad?

>your right to do what you did. You had no right.
no right to do what?
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Martha Ponningfuck - Thu, 20 Jan 2022 08:14:19 EST DMPOlzSV No.541861 Reply
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>>541860
well obviously, otherwise i wouldnt be posting here
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Martha Ponningfuck - Thu, 20 Jan 2022 10:52:40 EST DMPOlzSV No.541866 Reply
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though, y'know, there's a lot of stuff I wish people would apologize for. what pi means, stuff about source engine, all kinds or stuff, stuff that I know to be absolutely true and no one has ever apologized for insisting on untrue nonsense. some of it is basic precepts of math, things that are objectively true; some things that are just definitions, and people have not apologized to me EVER after claiming absolutely insane things. I'm still waiting on an apology for people insisting that pi is exactly 2. Why should I apologize for joining the military when people won't apologize to me for claiming objectively untrue things?
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Martha Ponningfuck - Thu, 20 Jan 2022 10:55:24 EST DMPOlzSV No.541867 Reply
There are a lot of things people have lied to me about, and I have proof about it. But that doesn't matter. People have lied to me about basic precepts of reality, and basic mathematical concepts. Why should I have to apologize just for taking on the only job available when people have lied to me and postured hard about things so simple as math; things that can be proven or disproven with a compass and straightedge
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Martha Ponningfuck - Thu, 20 Jan 2022 11:05:08 EST DMPOlzSV No.541868 Reply
No one has EVER apologized to me about things like that. I've demonstrated time and time again how certain things work, and no one ever apologizes to me after I prove something works in some way. People don't even acknowledge it. Whether it's just something people agree upon like nav markers, or is something completely objective and mathematically solveable like ratios in circles, no one takes me seriously, and no one apologizes when I can prove I'm right. Even in fucking about with computers, they don't believe it, even when it works.

Even this thing the thread got started for, oh, everything's broken, and it's a kerberos error, I bet it's a key exchange issue related to timing because our time server is bunk, no one believes me until there's some horrid long e-mail chain from other people about it, and even then, none of them care and the time server still isn't replaced nor does anyone think to just use some normal commercial time service. And when I ask "has this rifle EVER been sighted" they laugh at me too, as if rifles need to be sighted! (they do)
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Martha Ponningfuck - Thu, 20 Jan 2022 11:22:09 EST DMPOlzSV No.541869 Reply
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Realistically, if I have to APOLOGIZE, I'm willing to do it. I've fucked up in my life and done a lot of bad things. However, I absolutely refuse to APOLOGIZE until you APOLOGIZE TO ME

I see no reason to apologize to you until you apologize to me. I have not been awful because of you, and you have no reason to take ownership of my sins. But I will not regret, confess, nor supplicate pardon until you admit also being at fault. I am NOT the only person who has done anything wrong.
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Martha Ponningfuck - Thu, 20 Jan 2022 11:40:01 EST DMPOlzSV No.541870 Reply
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Even doing shit at the navigation sims, I'm the fuckboy out. People make fun of me for wanting the sasebo charts and nav marker standards. The one time I don't bring all my own stuff, I look like a fool since some other ship has to provide me a tac pack. I ask online for everything I need from charts to a modern copy of ATP1v2 and everyone makes fun of me. And now I'm the one being asked to apologize. I hate my job because what little I do for it just gets me made fun of, and when i'm aloof, it's near career-ending because I'm not a web developer or fucking link coverage nerd. maybe I should take pride in weapons fire then; I'm not bad with the C7. The things I do at work are hard; plenty of people get to play hero for being better with assault rifles than I am. All I do is babysit servers; getting into firefights would be a lot more glamourous. The people who man the .50s are much better liked, both on the street and and by command. maybe razing cover is the only way to get known. Can I only be appreciated by destroying enemies?
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Martha Ponningfuck - Thu, 20 Jan 2022 11:46:01 EST DMPOlzSV No.541871 Reply
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I've done all I can do. I know it's not a lot, but I don't have the training for more. I don't have the knowledge or access to do more than I've done.
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Eugene Focklefore - Thu, 20 Jan 2022 20:17:53 EST RyXUVBrL No.541873 Reply
>>541869
>I see no reason to apologize to you until you apologize to me
Go use those VA mental health benefits I pay for, welfare queen. You're welcome for my service.
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Martha Wunningsene - Sat, 22 Jan 2022 16:22:59 EST Yor6xStr No.541886 Reply
Take all that money and do a project
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Martha Wunningsene - Sat, 22 Jan 2022 16:24:28 EST Yor6xStr No.541887 Reply
Or like, volunteer at different places until you find something that makes you go 'somebody should do something about this', and then realize that you are that somebody
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Nathaniel Duckgold - Mon, 24 Jan 2022 21:21:17 EST DMPOlzSV No.541899 Reply
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>>541873
>VA
wrong cuntry. I'm not american. I am definitely a welfare queen though.

>>541886
>>541887
Every day at work, there's tons of stuff I react that way to. So much could be automated, and even the inherently manual stuff is not well thought-out. Lots of other people respond to it the same way and just give up. I have considered trying to freelance as a local computer and a/v guy, but bars and clubs aren't so hard-up they need to optimize their TV setups and individuals just throw out their devices and get new ones instead of bothering to fix or update them. And I'm done with anything more wholesome than that -- even with the little homelss shacks that go up, I once said to someone "why not use something like stucco or some other coating on it to be even cheaper and easier instead of stealing or begging for slat siding" the local leftists chimped out at me.
thinking 'somebody should do something about this' and coming up with that 'something' is a fast way to get shit on
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Nathaniel Duckgold - Mon, 24 Jan 2022 22:09:28 EST DMPOlzSV No.541901 Reply
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Although, maybe I shouldn't have admitted to being non-american. There's not much difference between countries when viewed from sea. Maybe the things said in that shitty mash-up are more poignant than they seem.

>While we're flying around up here, tons of blood is being shed on the ground; some peace. Do I know what I've taken? And for what? To secede from the world? Could I fight this war again in fifty years time? Do I think history will see it my way? Flying around with ideals in your head is just going to get you killed. This world is a lost cause. I'm only here to do what I was paid to do.

But I care a little bit about why I'm here, and what brought me here. This thread hasn't exactly gone my way, but in your anti-military posturing, I might start to get something. It strikes me immediately as trolling, but it's inspiring in a way. I didn't join out of any jingoism, nor desire for violence. And again, I've never gone to the real field, and am in a trade and element that doesn't exactly specialize in violence on a personal level. But occasionally when I'm bored and am out of normal stuff to read, I go for ebin secret reports about jamming techniques and efficiency against various anti-ship missiles. They're fun from electronics and tactics perspectices, but sometimes I have a short pang of "I am in a job where I have to care about the targeting of weapons that could kill hundreds of people at a time in just a few seconds, as a routine part of combat, in a job as ridiculous where there is a concept of "routine part of combat"."

I hope we shoot at eachother someday, and no one gets hurt. That's the best case. It'll mean that our jobs meant something, but I'd still rather no one have to die over something stupid no party getting shot at cares about.

>>541887
> 'somebody should do something about this',
I failed out of EE and in the first semester we had some job-hunting/orientation kinda classes. In my own searches, I found that given the couseload my best bets were intelligence services and weapons manufacturers were I not a retard who could have graduated that program. I'm not very smart and did very badly, but if I could have designed a better jammer or chaff launcher or other soft-kill package, that would have probably satisfied me more than designing a better seeker for missiles.
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Jarvis Chillyfen - Wed, 26 Jan 2022 07:28:12 EST aFLfu5Ub No.541908 Reply
>>541901
>I didn't join out of any jingoism, nor desire for violence
Your individual motivations are immaterial. If you don't want to be treated like a faceless tool, don't put on the uniform of a faceless tool, and don't go run around on their boats with guns.
>I hope we shoot at eachother someday
There it is. Why not just end this before you hurt someone? Hmm?
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Jarvis Chillyfen - Wed, 26 Jan 2022 07:29:01 EST aFLfu5Ub No.541909 Reply
>>541901
>if I could have designed a better jammer or chaff launcher or other soft-kill package
Those people go to college, dummy. You went on the way way way wrong path for doing anything skilled or intelligent with your life.
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Betsy Fazzlemut - Thu, 27 Jan 2022 21:57:25 EST DMPOlzSV No.541919 Reply
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>>541909
>Those people go to college, dummy.
I did go to college, once or twice. I failed out of Electrical Engineering, actually, among other programs. Thankfully, school is cheap where I lived. You know how they have those first-year courses to "orient" you to the field? We once had an assignment to take the course list, whatever we knew going in, and generate a list of real job postings we thought we could really apply for at the end. The assignment was to get 5 listings.

My top 5 were
>Baidu
>CSEC (now called (C)CSE; "[C]anadian [C]omSec ecurity [E]stablishment, formerly just "[C]anadian Communications [SEC]urity"
>FBI
>NSA
>CIA

turns out the job market for electrical engineers with a n IT/networking lean is a little limited, but glows real bright. good thing I'm a fucking retard who doesn't understand how current works at junctions! (KVL/KCL calculations were really the thing that did me in, as simple as they supposedly are)

>>541908
>Your individual motivations are immaterial. If you don't want to be treated like a faceless tool, don't put on the uniform
The same could be said of anyone else working for some faceless corporation. Do you get so mad at the people at mcdonalds for contributing to factory farming, or your local pharmacy for issuing fentanyl for re-sale?

I've said over and over that I don't like the military. Even more than my role in it and my own job being unsatisfying, it's an outfit that does nothing for anybody. If anything, that's what makes it so dire to me. Especially so in my country, where real "global security" comes from the yankees and our own weapons may as well be rifles behind blades of grass. Even weapons firings aside, who am I to make virtual lights take real electricity when people need their "collab" software dealt with or public key crap they don't use sorted out?

I got into it because I needed a job, and the job market is just a little fucked up, if you haven't noticed. there isn't much else to do. I've posted in the general thread on this board about quitting before, and it being almost easy but absolutely disastrous to my bottom line. Abort, retry, fail, FOLD SPINDLE MUTILATE, and so on.

I already know it, you harp on this because you know it gets a rise. You're not wrong. Well,
>I guess they've come to pick on the dead again.
I know I can't run or hide, and made this decision a long time ago. I can't back out of this deal. What do I have to show? No blood, no gold, though maybe a broken throne.

>>I hope we shoot at eachother someday
>There it is.
I hope we shoot at eachother and no one gets hurt.
I'd still rather no one have to die over something stupid no party getting shot at cares about.
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Betsy Fazzlemut - Thu, 27 Jan 2022 21:59:13 EST DMPOlzSV No.541920 Reply
>>541919
Oh my god what happened to the formatting to make this happen I swear I never even opened a strikethrough tag
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Betsy Fazzlemut - Thu, 27 Jan 2022 22:36:26 EST DMPOlzSV No.541922 Reply
>>541919
oh i see what happened now

>[SEC]urity

admins fix your regex
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Betsy Fazzlemut - Thu, 27 Jan 2022 22:37:31 EST DMPOlzSV No.541923 Reply
>>541922
FUCK what was it then was it oh wait i see it was ecurity

fucking edge cases !!!
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Betsy Fazzlemut - Thu, 27 Jan 2022 22:48:37 EST DMPOlzSV No.541924 Reply
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unironically, admins, bros, you shouldnt support bbcode and then let it engage without closing tags. i can almost smell the code. rather than engaging formatting at the start of a tag and then only caring to stop if it sees a closing tag, it should identify a field encompased by an opening and closing tag and then format that a "frame" (cycle, whatever) later if there isnt some grognard way of making it a genuine single-cycle one-liner. there are plenty of use cases where someone woudl enclose a character in sqaure brackets but few where they'd do a [/.] without trying to use or make fun of bbcode. while it'd be near-trivial regex actually translating it is another, and i dont know much about webdev but in every scripting language it'd be a simple regex find ( something like \[?<all codes possible>\].+\[/?<all codes possible>\])and then replace the tags with whatever formatting device

a drunk furfag shouldn't have to tell you this
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Betsy Fazzlemut - Thu, 27 Jan 2022 22:51:16 EST DMPOlzSV No.541925 Reply
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and i already know what youre thinking

"have you ever applied this eye for detail to anything useful"

NO
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Phoebe Clayville - Fri, 28 Jan 2022 07:45:36 EST zBXbTore No.541927 Reply
>>541919
>The same could be said of anyone else working for some faceless corporation
Haha no it can't, you absolute fool.
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Phoebe Clayville - Fri, 28 Jan 2022 07:46:31 EST zBXbTore No.541928 Reply
>>541919
>I hope we shoot at eachother and no one gets hurt
Your mind has been TOTALLY fucked to shit. COMPLETELY. Or you're trolling.
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Dextrolord - Fri, 28 Jan 2022 12:29:17 EST +9cGqShJ No.541932 Reply
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>>541475


Find something that makes u happy and pursue that. Sounds like u have enough money to take a year or three off if u wanna.

Lots of people travel the world in ur situation.

Idk, I'm a minimalist, so my life is about the opposite of urs.
>almost never more than $100$ in my bank account unless I'm saving for a bill or something
>self employed with a few different ventures and hustles
>rent rooms and move often, as long as I can ski there i don't mind where I go too much
>smoak weed erry day and trip once or twice a month
>honestly I've never been happier with my life at this point, I'm 26 single, never married, not tied down by career or debt, work 3 or 4 days a week tops(I refuse to work more than half the week, I'm not on this earth to slave away for some pointless cash)


All I'm saying is u gotta find what it is thats gonna make u happy and go for it!!
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Emma Pablingditch - Sat, 29 Jan 2022 22:47:18 EST DMPOlzSV No.541940 Reply
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>>541928
well maybe that's too wannabe-poetic a way to put it. I didn't join out of wont for violence, but do see why conflict exists. If it absolutely has to happen, we may as well do it in good fun.

>>541932
>Find something that makes u happy and pursue that.
but what
I used to do level design, and now the games and engines I used are dead. I'd cook or bake, but there's no money in that shit, so there's no sense doing it beyond my own meals, and you need a fucking seal to make more than min wage anyway. Even biking or maintaining bikes, it's not so enjoyable because parts fail so often and I take it too personally when "new" parts explode under load. Sewing too, I like doing hand-sewing but I can only do so many hand repairs before it gets boring and even annoying.

>Sounds like u have enough money to take a year or three off if u wanna.
three would be a lot but i guess at this point i do literally have just over a year's salary in savings

>Lots of people travel the world in ur situation.
one thing I have enjoyed about the navy is foreign ports. I do have a nesting type of personality though. I couldn't imagine travelling and not just going "well this is nice. I'm going to stop here then" at the first comfortable town with a job in it.

>Idk, I'm a minimalist, so my life is about the opposite of urs.
not to shit on you or your finances but that should mean you have MORE money. I am a "minimalist" too, and that's how I've amassed so much. I only really spend on rent and other domestic bills, food, and booze. food and booze are just big ticket items since I go out a lot. But i shop for clothes at thrift shops and only as needed, repair my own stuff, don't drive, have hand-me-down furniture from the 70s, etc. my spending on "capital" assets is very low.

>self employed with a few different ventures and hustles
If I may, what are they, in general? A lot of what keeps me at my job is the thought that I can't do anything else; the job market is super fucked up and I don't have a vehicle so gig economy is out. I might have some tools and am lucky enough to rend a place that has a well stocked garage, but can't think of any cottage industry I could really do properly for money.
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Emma Pablingditch - Sun, 30 Jan 2022 02:30:33 EST DMPOlzSV No.541946 Reply
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>>541945
though, comedy option
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=StPOBaGuVf0

i actaully feel really bad every time i have contact with (sea training quebecois guy) because my french was never good and I've lost what little I had since moving to halifax. even more than being bad at my job, he reminds me of all I've abandonned, and how shitty a child I've been. Not just how when sea training is here, they invent problems and remind me that I'm not actually good at anything. He personally reminds me that I left my home, my family, and the only area I called my country. And here he is to remind me that I'm terrible at my job, and terrible as a person. I'm not just not good with computers; I've also forsaken my countrymen, who happen to be quite good with computers.
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Emma Pablingditch - Sun, 30 Jan 2022 02:32:45 EST DMPOlzSV No.541947 Reply
>>541946
but of course, when I say "he personally" I don't mean he says stuff to me. I mean that I have my own feelings. He's just there to set my office on fire and see what happens. sea training is not so personal. still, I take it personally.
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Emma Pablingditch - Sun, 30 Jan 2022 03:29:48 EST DMPOlzSV No.541950 Reply
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I might've had my fill of going home from deployments with broken wings, but I guess the indie devs are right
>What do you have to show for yourself, merc? Blood? Gold? A broken throne?
It's rude to say, especially as someone who's never seen combat, but it's true not just for war but of life

>No solution; can't engage.
>I don't have time for that.
>Negative; I'm sorry!
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Ebenezer Movingdedge - Sun, 30 Jan 2022 09:10:27 EST ZkbX/LQo No.541951 Reply
>>541950
>It's rude to say, especially as someone who's never seen combat
Why do military types think they're special for seeing combat?
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Eugene Munningville - Mon, 31 Jan 2022 15:52:58 EST X+CKt9KC No.541975 Reply
>>541475
I've worked low-paying customer service jobs, and they're soul-crushing. Not just because of the pay, but because the work is so unrewarding. I get the impression that's basically what you're doing, only you're getting paid a lot. What you need to do is get a job you get more enjoyment from, because you're spending most of your life and time on something you hate. No wonder you're depressed.

You need to be thoughtful and strategic about all this. Don't just assume things will work out. See if there's something in the Navy you could transfer to. This may involve a pay cut, but it'd be worth it if you liked what you were doing, and could work your way up. You could obviously go back to college for something you're really interested in. And, having a military background can be really helpful for getting jobs in the federal government.

You have $60K saved up. That's an incredible cushion, you could probably live off that for 3 years. It sounds like what you should do is find a new opportunity, go after it, and leave this job behind. Don't waste your life working a position you hate.
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Hannah Ginderfodge - Mon, 31 Jan 2022 20:45:37 EST DMPOlzSV No.541979 Reply
>>541951
Not only is it something not a lot of people do, even within the miiltary (something like only 1/10th of army members have ever fired a shot in anger; that number drops precipitiously for the navy and air forces) but it also answers the usual insecurity of training constantly for things that never actually happen, and often doing that training in outdated ways with outdated equipment and tactics.
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Jenny Haggledure - Tue, 01 Feb 2022 06:48:57 EST ErrMV2cy No.541983 Reply
>>541979
...but that doesn't make anyone special. It doesn't give anyone special rights. I'm asking why military folks keep mentioning combat as if that gives them special rights or considerations.
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Nell Tillingfield - Tue, 01 Feb 2022 07:50:40 EST 2Hs+Jr13 No.541984 Reply
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I left school 1 year early to go right into university. Graduated with an engineering degree by 21 years old. Spent the next few years grafting, climbing ladders, getting better pay. I had a lot of money pretty fast because of good opportunties and my parents buying my house.

My lifestyle was a pretty cliched "nerd who got their shit together" arc - bullied and ignored at school, invests time in the gym and reading during university, spends next few years just saving lots of money and not falling for that Alpha Male Boss Man bullshit that YouTube tried to tempt me with. The only area of my life where I maybe failed that was with my girlfriend, I really appreciated someone loving me and I guess I just kinda spent too much on that relationship with gifts, holidays, experiences etc that I paid 100% for. She didn't have the same money as me, I was cool with it. It didn't work out and then I was left wondering if my money had made me worthwhile.

Anyways man I reached 27 and had a major existential crisis. Between a lucky Bitcoin investment and my salary I was now in the 100k club. My career was going great.

But life was an empty and performative void.

I quit my job, bummed about for a month. Eventually got into doing extremely basic and unqualified care work - elderly people, enthusiastic young guys, people in wheel chairs.

In my country, this job is paid less than your average bar/retail worker.

But now, I am happier. I get in up in the morning excited to go be useful. I've been supporting a young guy with a really severe disability for 2 years now, his family give me christmas presents, I've given him birthday presents. We have such a good relationship.

I feel like I get to help and I get to feel that what I do is meaningful rather than serving corporations.

Long term trajectory may have suffered depending on the metrics you use to evaluate it. but I am happier and less likely to die from suicide.

Seek meaning. Seek helping others. Seek purpose beyond a job or being good at a hobby or having moments you enjoy.

Once you hit a point where you value contribution to others, idk, that changed my life. I was really selfish before all this. Now I carry about cigarettes to give to homeless people. Now I get involved in helping other people. Now I try to help my friends more when they are in crisis because I now know a few people who are dead and I feel bad about my passivity when I was younger.

Idk dude I totally ignored actually dealing with your problems here and just narcissistically wrote about my life and how great I am now for being a more ethically and morally good contributor to the world. But it healed my void man. That's the takeaway, I think.
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Simon Chasslelig - Sun, 06 Feb 2022 00:21:14 EST DMPOlzSV No.542018 Reply
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>>541975
60k in Canada isn't enough for 3 years, but I could definitely do a year or two with proper budgeting. I did live off of ~300/wk before but I don't want to do that again. If I could get even a min wage job in the meantime that would extend things a lot, though, but even in food service there isn't a lot around. Canada is super fucked up.

>See if there's something in the Navy you could transfer to.
I thought Cyber Op (defensive network security operations) but I need a network engineering degree for that and am only studying for my Sec+ now, even if I do have Wireshark at home. I could go the Air Force equivalent of what I do now, but that I don't doubt that trade is just as bad and I think it's adequately staffed right now (compared to what I do, which is "Hard Red" -- hemorrhaging people and having recruitment problems too) so it's doubtful they'd let me remuster to that.
I could go something more physical like Comms Research (SigINT nerds) or "Combat Systems Engineering" (glorified technicians) but those absolutely require going regular force (vice reserve) and taking on another contract for 5 years or more, and still being explicitly navy. I'd very much like to stay out of the navy though, I hate sailing. I don't have a lot of knowledge on air force trades, and fuck going a step down and becoming some kind of infanteer-adjacent thing like a combat engineer or actual infantry radioman. And besides, a large part of what I hate about work is that things could be done better and just aren't, so it falls to manual processes run by people who don't really know what they're talking about, left to us on the ground (or in the office) to execute. My platform doesn't even have taclink coverage, and C2 in general is a joke. I've been reading books about pen testing, and it seems like people at consulting firms actively attacking hostile networks manage to have better C2 structures than my actual warship.

>Don't waste your life working a position you hate.
I'd rather not, but what else is there to do? I browse job sites a lot, and it seems impossible to get a real job. Just to do first-line help desk needs a CISSP. Anything trades-y requires a red seal. Even line cooking or bartending needs extensive coursing and certificates from various ponzi-esque de-facto guilds.

Ironically, though,
>I've worked low-paying customer service jobs, and they're soul-crushing.
I was definitely happier when I was washing dishes for a mom-n-pop breakfast place. I hated the low pay, and was having a hard time in life for other reasons, but I've openly told other similarly bitter people at work I'd gladly go back. It was shitty work, but at the end of the day I didn't need to psych myself back up. Only reason I'd have to when going in is that I'm not a morning person. It was great to do something that obviously and objectively helps people, even if it's just making sure people have plates to eat pancakes off of. It's a small thing, but it directly enabled people to be happier leaving the joint than they were coming in.
In terms of the work environment, the only bad thing was that at that place I didn't have enough hours to sustain myself. If I worked there full time, I'd probably have never ended up joining the navy. Like I told the class at basic during the typical "who are you and why are you here" meet and greet, I had CVs out all over town, even a couple interviews, but the forces happened to call back first.

>>541979
>I'm asking why military folks keep mentioning combat as if that gives them special rights or considerations.
It doesn't and shouldn't.
I only highlight my lack of combat experience to further accentuate my feelings of uselessness on the job; the point of a state military is to promise or invoke violence, and not having done so personally is another source of failure in actualization. If I were to have done so, maybe my job would feel like it "meant something", but as it stands, doing useless things for a useless organization is only made a worse feeling by that organization not using me to do anything measurable even for them. Whatever your feelings are on whatever engagement or whole war, not participating in it in the first place is even more useless.

To work for a useless agency is one thing, it's another to be useless even within that agency.

>>541984
No; that was good. The takeaway hits. I should do something useful to people, and be more giving in general.
That said, though, one of the times I browsed job sites to see what's out there, I noticed a live-in nursing position, and somehow it required "CCA certified or equivalent" and "3+ years very high awareness of covid procedure and practical experience is essential" in 2021.

https://www.ahima.org/certification-careers/certification-exams/cca/
>>As of 12/31/19, there were 7,945 certified CCA professionals.
On top of 3+ years of "covid procedure". I only found that job posting in early 2021.
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Frederick Bunfoot - Tue, 15 Feb 2022 00:29:48 EST DMPOlzSV No.542094 Reply
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My boss today straight up said
"We'll all have to [qualify to go on deployment]; That involves talking to a social worker... Read between the lines, buddy."

Should I do it? Should I give up some tax free and a medal? Medals aren't great return-on-resume, but fucking LinkedIn has a spot to list them. It's a lot of money, too. I make more than I spend normally though, even with boozing it up and smoking a lot. I don't even want to sail. But I'd feel bad letting everyone down, and making them scramble to get another sailor on short notice. I'm not terrible at my job either, and to leave would mean abandoning a lot of unfinished business. It's hard enough maintaining continuity just week to week. I don't want to saddle someone with a million service tickets, a command structure I don't even understand as it is, and the gorillion actual Sailor Problems I routinely ignore in favour of doing the IT shit I can at least pretend to like. But then again, just sailing for a week recently, the people above me that got parachuted in because one is on vacation and one burnt out did nothing but complain about the tempo. Even a fellow that was on the same course as I was on to get made as an LS kept saying that the way things went on my ship isn't normal, but I've bounced about the nest a lot and never experienced anything much different. Is it just not supposed to be like this? Even saying "I've held on best I can", "best I can" hasn't been very good, but others have come in and out just fine.

Then again, I'm the only one that's been there as long as I have. I've lost count of COs and XOs and OpsOs, and had to help transition straight up moving crew from one ship to another while the old one goes into drydock, and it's been long enough that the old ship is back alongside us all and I still have most of its old paperwork in my "office" from the move. I'm into year four in a seagoing unit; reg force people on the real frigates used to usually do about so long before getting a shore posting, before the fleet got so starved for comms people. I'm not totally sure what my actual reputation is in the fleet, or even on the ship, but it seems good, but that seems like an incorrect take on their part. Or maybe it's actually horrible, but if it is, why hasn't anyone told me yet?

I really want to leave. But I don't want to be that guy that skives out of every sail. I did kinda do it once, but I'm sure you've seen my other posting; I was about to offer my coxn (at the time; it's a new one now, of course) a pinky like a rinky dink weeb gang member. I heard that sail was absolutely terrible, too. Still. I'm the type that would sooner think "I need to offer a digit to get out of this; nothing less is acceptable" and I hate having saddled the remaining bits of the section with it. But if I'm fantasizing about taking my crap dollar store ginsu to work and borrowing a cutting board, well, I know that's not a normal reaction to pressure (or sometimes lack thereof)at work.
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James Greenworth - Tue, 15 Feb 2022 06:31:23 EST 6d5cybKC No.542098 Reply
>>542094
Why not get all fucked up psychologically and grab a bunch of guns and go around the world killing people?
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Polly Nicklegold - Tue, 15 Feb 2022 22:43:39 EST DMPOlzSV No.542109 Reply
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>>542098
First do no harm. I'm edgy and angry but have no desire to hurt people. I'm only edgy and angry because there are organizations (not people) that hurt, impede, or even just inconvenience people after making the conscious and informed choice to do whatever it is they did that makes some individual's life worse.

And besides, I know what you're getting at
>military lol
>must be a codmans just wanting to shoot people
That's not how it works for people outside of the Army. Hell, at my unit, we bitterly joke about getting new gear to "Extend link support", even though we don't have any way to gain or contribute to Link 11/22/whatever and extending 0 by 200% still means 0. And of course the new gear doesn't even work. We don't go around shooting people, we have contractors dump e-waste into our workspaces and have officers complain that it doesn't do anything useful, and then can't describe the useful thing it's supposed to do when challenged.

And I really only ever joined for money. I had CVs out all over town. The CF just happened to call back first.
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Edwin Billingfoot - Wed, 16 Feb 2022 06:50:42 EST zNM37gb2 No.542113 Reply
>>542109
Just remember, when people learn you're a veteran, they avoid you. Nobody wants dangerous psychologically weak and manipulated people running around with gun practice.
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Emma Blottingfine - Thu, 17 Feb 2022 17:39:49 EST ksQBBzgO No.542136 Reply
>>541475
>for the crown

Ideologically unreliable.
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Isabella Pabberspear - Thu, 17 Feb 2022 22:36:26 EST DMPOlzSV No.542145 Reply
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>>542113
to say I'm dangerous is way too charitable. but it's true, and it's distressing. how can I ever get a real job when I've spent the last 8 years pretending to be dangerous for an agency that offers no real training, little useful experience, and is generally a black hole of negativity? even in posturing about infosec shit, it's all stuff I've done on my own time, and I've even gotten bad performance reviews for reading about it during quiet shifts

>>542136
I don't disagree. Royalists are scum
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Isabella Pabberspear - Thu, 17 Feb 2022 23:56:37 EST DMPOlzSV No.542146 Reply
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I wish I could be all manic and say
>Look at you, you got the whole world. I ain't go no regrets, man. I MADE IT, I'm a SUCCESS. I CANT BE TOUCHED. I don't give a fuck, fuck the whole world.

I can safely say I've gotten everything I've wanted at work. I'm the primary sysadmin there on that so-called warship. I have nearly free access to all the cryptographic equipment. I might have to put in tickets for stuff still since I don't own it all, but I have snippy e-mail chains all but saying "I got into this system trivially; what's taking the contractors so long?" and no one gets back at me for my attitude. The last few big issues, I poked and had good guesses at what was wrong that turned out to be all completely correct. All I'm missing is a suite of fancy network testing gear, which really, if I can find the right person to convince, paperwork to order everything I could ever want off of DigiKey could be fixed. But really, would testing gear make me happy? Is that the sticky bit? Not relying on Network Services or Ship Support or whoever and getting to finally do things under my own power?

We ballin, but at what cost
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Nicholas Pullyspear - Fri, 18 Feb 2022 06:30:11 EST i+fD3VRv No.542147 Reply
>>542145
It's never too late to stop doing what you're doing in life and do something that serves you better.
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Cedric Dipperchan - Fri, 18 Feb 2022 08:41:53 EST cdQhljRk No.542148 Reply
>>541475
You asked for this, and I'm pretty sure this is what you wanted deep down.

As a poor person, I honestly hate and despise you, for having everything you need and still complaining because life doesn't specifically revolve around you enough to cure your pathetic privileged boredom 24/7. It isn't good enough that you're not in constant pain like the majority of the world, but you must also complain to the very people who have it much worse.

But now that I said that and my anger is gone, I read through your post again and feel like I must thank you for serving your country, which I'm sure has also probably contributed to your feeling of alienation

I respect that you are honest , and realize you must actually be some kind of an idiot or mentally challenged in some way if you have all that money and still decided your best course of action was to post on 420chan.

Also you say you're not humble bragging but you are totally humble bragging and your posts wreak of egotism.

Don't know what else you expected. Maybe next time you ask for help don't brag about your 60k in the bank, jackass.
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Cedric Dipperchan - Fri, 18 Feb 2022 08:52:05 EST cdQhljRk No.542149 Reply
>>542148
Hell even better, stop drinking for one day, take that money and go see a fucking psychologist, which I would be doing if I had the money. Or hell, pay us for counselling you since some of us actually have unpaid bills
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Cedric Dipperchan - Fri, 18 Feb 2022 08:55:47 EST cdQhljRk No.542150 Reply
Or literally just get an airbnb and go on fucking vacation or something OP, FFS. You're complaining to us because you refuse to get off your ass. That's your own damn problem.
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Cedric Dipperchan - Fri, 18 Feb 2022 09:01:22 EST cdQhljRk No.542151 Reply
>>542148
>>542149
>>542150
My honest opinion, needed to be said, wont apologize but will say OP keep your head up and we dont mind if you want to keep venting
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Cedric Dipperchan - Fri, 18 Feb 2022 09:12:01 EST cdQhljRk No.542152 Reply
Holy shit I actually started to read the rest of your posts and you need help. I hope you get the help you are looking for and wish you luck.

I was about to continue burning you but I feel bad. All I'll say is you've got some serious projection issues when you want 420chan to apologize to you for your choice to join the navy and to apologize for people who have apparently been lying to you about the value of pi and other things.
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Cedric Dipperchan - Fri, 18 Feb 2022 09:19:35 EST cdQhljRk No.542153 Reply
I'm gonna be the guy to tell you, imagine if everyone you knew IRL was reading this. Because I had a mental breakdown recently, and trust me, if you think this is safely contained in a 420chan thread, you are mistaken buddy. You're losing your shit and it's time to look in the mirror, sober up a bit, and check yourself before you end up in a mental institution.
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Cedric Dipperchan - Fri, 18 Feb 2022 10:17:43 EST cdQhljRk No.542155 Reply
I didn't mean to talk so much shit on somebody going through such a crisis. Shouldn't have said anything. I'm projecting my own shit too.

Can't hate a man for being honest, asking for help, or venting. NB
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Ebenezer Bodgespear - Fri, 18 Feb 2022 20:52:58 EST DMPOlzSV No.542162 Reply
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>>542151
>>542153
>imagine if everyone you knew IRL was reading this.
Well, if we cross-posting, I did say to a boss --after working myself up and resolving to go straight to the coxn in a dramatic incident-- that I couldn't do it anymore at that time. We were in the midst of a "hull swap" -- essentially, the crew of one boat packs up the ship for storage, the ship itself goes to a dockyard to be overhauled, and that same crew takes over a new ship that just came out of overhaul.
Anyway, I did finally admit it, that I was cracking up a bit, and got sent to a do-nothing office that acts as a placeholder for one of those ships too busy getting welded back together to have people conduct a normal work day onboard.


>>542155
No, it's great, I don;t mean that sarcastically. I've said elsewhere a few times in similar conditions,
>"I hope we all shoot at eachother someday, and no no gets hurt."

>if you think this is safely contained in a 420chan thread, you are mistaken buddy.
I've already had multiple charges for AWOL which were all days I just said "Not Today"
And really, with the way I post, being a sad jolly african-american isn't what's going to get me got. I'm sure that what'll end my whole career is some inevitable comsec incident

but again,
>imagine if everyone you knew IRL was reading this.
I would hope they'd help me get a real job. you know how they always ask "What's your greatest weakness?" What if I said I broke down terribly and descended into degeneracy and madness because I felt my job was inherently useless, to even be good at it required tools I wasn't allowed to have, and that no amount of money soothed my insanity
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Ebenezer Bodgespear - Fri, 18 Feb 2022 21:32:12 EST DMPOlzSV No.542163 Reply
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>>542151
>wont apologize
Look at you, you got the whole world. I ain't go no regrets, man. I MADE IT, I'm a SUCCESS. I CANT BE TOUCHED. I don't give a fuck what pi is or what markers are where, fuck the whole world.

Last time I went to the nav sim, I marveled at how long it took the officers to resolve simple turns to get into position. I was on duty as what's basically a security guard the next day, and spent most of the day trying to calculate some kind of function to turn into position giving set turing rates at best speed. Saw my old XO, who was a CISO (Computer Information Systems Officer) before he got made. He looked at me and my work and just said

>Wow. I haven't done rel-vel in a long time.
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Alice Chozzleshaw - Sat, 19 Feb 2022 07:08:54 EST jDQetbQh No.542166 Reply
>>542162
You had a breakdown while your ship was in port...? For a refit?
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Lydia Murdfuck - Sun, 20 Feb 2022 15:53:39 EST md8FjRRJ No.542202 Reply
>>542166
if its not yet clear that what REALLY gets me is process failures and refusal to make the clerical things go properly rather than memey combat tasks, idk what to tell you.
what I hate about my job isnt the work itself; damage control crap is easy, and being on quick reaction team/force protection is just an excuse to cuddle the security blanket and teddy bear that are heavy armour and wielding an assault rifle. but for example, what would make me really upset on QRT is I personally read the intel reports that drive what level of FP we'll do, and none of whats in those reports ever enters the briefs. they hand me a rifle, and have no answers as to how far it's sighted for, let alone whether is has ever been sighted. I as "is this training or real? I have live ammo here, should I?" and the best answer comes from the Weapons Eng Tech that brough up the ammo can, rather than the FP officer who just gave the briefing.

It's that it's a very stupid, slow, poorly documented, ad hoc, bumbling world.
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Lydia Murdfuck - Sun, 20 Feb 2022 16:20:40 EST md8FjRRJ No.542203 Reply
granted, though, most of the stuff I touch involves threat of jailtime if you touch it wrong. had a machine with expired keys in it the other day and my immediate superior worried it'd be a comsec incident. luckily it's not (a key "expiring" is not the same as "being superceded") but on the other hand, I've been shit on for not giving people Secret clearance network accounts without proper approval from higher up.

also that hull swap involved a lot of theft and hacking. that boat we left came back and a buddy from my last career course is handling that! we sailed togeger for a week and he had two major points to leave
>I am never sailing on your ship ever again.
>you owe me a milk crate full of fibre op equipment.
i just said
>for us, it's always like this. and fill your pockets; we got a ton like a month after we needed it
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Lydia Murdfuck - Sun, 20 Feb 2022 16:34:37 EST md8FjRRJ No.542204 Reply
I just want a job where things work properly, scheduling isn't a mess, it's open to improvement, and it isnt so generally disrespectful of my time and effort
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Betsy Fovingshit - Sun, 20 Feb 2022 18:16:49 EST DMPOlzSV No.542205 Reply
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>>542149
>take that money and go see a fucking psychologist,
I actaully have seen a few and they're all useless. Within the system, they just ask right off the bat if I want a chit to stop working. Before I joined, I had a pretty severe self-harm incident, saw someone, and all she had to say was a bullshit "If you like bumming in cafes, do that, but lay off the coffee too".

"mental health specialists" are about as good as I am as an "IT/IS specialist." I used to be mad about how useless they are, but everyone lies on their resumes and passes out business cards vastly overstating their worth.
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David Dupperbury - Mon, 21 Feb 2022 07:14:21 EST InS9Ny/i No.542212 Reply
>>542205
>"mental health specialists" are about as good as I am as an "IT/IS specialist."
In other words, find one that's a good fit and you'll wonder what you ever did without them.
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Ernest Grandforth - Mon, 21 Feb 2022 19:28:38 EST md8FjRRJ No.542215 Reply
>>542212
where do people find these useful people? (not to imply I am useful)
I'm still salty about this time serve debacle. i couldve and shouldve done more but DOCTRINE prevents me
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Polly Blombletere - Thu, 24 Feb 2022 20:27:06 EST DMPOlzSV No.542226 Reply
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In seeing how things are going on ship, it wasn't quite enough to decide not to particpate in the next deployment.

My family has texted me all concerned about ukraine, and I couldn't say anything else in complete honesty: fuck that. I will not participate in the next deployment. I probably wasn't going to anyway, and I haven't been being paid properly in a bit either, so why would I bother waging war being underpaid for something I don't believe in?

Maybe that makes me "mercenary" in some regard but fuck it, like I said, I only joined for money in the first place years ago so so be it I don't need to lose respect among my family on top of being underpaid(obectively; I have NEVER made the money I should for my current rank), on top of the obvious mental illness this job promotes for me. Fuck the forces, and fuck the govevrnment. Even if I were a jingoistic prick, it'd be for Quebec, not Canada.

I sholuld make every effort to skip Reassurance. I'd be nothing but miserable in supporting a nonsense organazition in doing things I don't understand and don't support, and it's only bad timing to quit now because someone might think it's politically motivated instead of just being me hating the job.
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Lillian Hivingmane - Thu, 24 Feb 2022 20:27:34 EST t1W3MMn1 No.542227 Reply
>>542225
I mean that you are the person who decides what you do, dummy.
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Polly Blombletere - Thu, 24 Feb 2022 20:36:12 EST DMPOlzSV No.542228 Reply
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>>542227
I am a weak person, and can't help but nest. I settle easily because I am too scared to move on. However well things go now is the best I can do, and I'm too scared to take a hit to see if things can be better.
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Polly Blombletere - Thu, 24 Feb 2022 20:57:50 EST DMPOlzSV No.542229 Reply
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>It takes more than a fancy plane to fly like that! You have to fight for what you believe in.

I don't believe in anything. I'm only here to do what I was paid to do.
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Lillian Hivingmane - Fri, 25 Feb 2022 06:03:01 EST t1W3MMn1 No.542230 Reply
>>542229
If who you are is representative of your intent then what are you complaining about? Either be proud of who you are and start commanding your life, or change.
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Ernest Honeystock - Fri, 25 Feb 2022 23:51:18 EST DMPOlzSV No.542232 Reply
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>>542230
I had no intent. I joined because I was looking everywhere for jobs, and they happened to call back first. I've maintained my life financially in the black, and learned some things for free I might not have otherwise, but for the most part, nothing about my involvement in the CF has been my "intent"
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Caroline Brussledock - Sat, 26 Feb 2022 06:31:02 EST vrWAzwOa No.542237 Reply
>>542232
When do you start driving your own ship then? Do you have any plans to start taking control of your own life?
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John Bunham - Sat, 26 Feb 2022 21:40:20 EST DMPOlzSV No.542241 Reply
>>542237
I don't think I get to do that. How would I? No one gets jobs "normally" like boomers did, and as "well" as my life has gone, it's not been for any work, but just happy accidents.
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David Blongerhot - Sat, 05 Mar 2022 07:19:22 EST MAe7YDzb No.542345 Reply
>>542341
Any advice you get would require you to put in effort to change your circumstances and since you said you won't do that people have given up.
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Cornelius Hindlestone - Wed, 16 Mar 2022 00:15:37 EST DMPOlzSV No.542443 Reply
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>>542345
Where is the effort supposed to go?
There's a particular Old at one of my usual haunt pubs that shits on me in a good way about this kind of thing, and I don't get what exactly it is I'm supposed to be doing better. He tells me "You don't know a thing" and regales me with stories of how he had legions of men under him working in some trade or another at 15, and I say "It's different now; money is worth less and jobs are harder to come by, and training isn't free anymore" and he just repeats himself.

every trade requires a red seal, and even in what I do, you need a gorillion certs to be entry level. The few hobbies I had on my own, no one respects them and if you're not the absolute best people just shit on you. Where am I supposed to be putting in effort that'll actually be worth it
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Martin Broggledale - Wed, 16 Mar 2022 05:17:57 EST +Op8SNUj No.542444 Reply
>>542443
>Where is the effort supposed to go?
Asked and answered.
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Isabella Horringbury - Wed, 16 Mar 2022 22:05:11 EST DMPOlzSV No.542452 Reply
>>542444
pls enumerate because I am a retard
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Jarvis Hirringford - Sun, 03 Apr 2022 01:46:32 EST DMPOlzSV No.542541 Reply
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I think I'm starting to get it.

I've chosen to unionize at work.

Lots of people don't get paid properly, and yet still have to deploy. Leave is always a sticky bit, and the juniors don't even know their rights to it. I've amassed lots of refs on that kind of thing, and sometimes when I drop them in our unit group chat, I get shit on, but it comes out during the work day that it was appreciated. We need advocacy. We need collective bargaining. We need people to know their rights. It might be a state military, but that means it's still a government organization, with rules and regulations, and there's plenty of black-on-white print protecting the workers.

If I'm going to be all mercenary in general, but trapped in a state military, I may as well let everyone else know that they can be just as mercenary as I am. That's where the effort is going to go. Someone doesn't have to be a wild dog to get paid properly. I might have come here only do do what I was paid to do. They have their other reasons. Jingoism, family, fame, violence, I don't care. They deserve to get paid for what they came to do.
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Fuck Clayhall - Mon, 04 Apr 2022 15:27:00 EST LnCBmcQk No.542549 Reply
>>541475
>I get drunk every day
ok but stop. it's one thing to drink a little every day, which is kind of bad, but getting drunk every day is just asking for health problems.

second, if you want meaning in your life, do something that helps people. it really is that simple. there are so many differences out there just waiting to be made.
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Priscilla Fanham - Mon, 04 Apr 2022 21:12:52 EST DMPOlzSV No.542552 Reply
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>>542549
well, i could also just get some various birds and sell eggs. I already MAKE booze (that, honestly, I barely drink; it's too good to waste on binge drinking) and could do that. Same for baking, I like to bake because stuffing people full of sweets is inherently satisfying. Not a fetish thing, I just like snacks and figure making good snacks is a good thing. I could do design stuff and sell spraying mops and POS slings, but that stuff seems well covered.
Really, military stuff is important to me because it'll be my full-time job for the next year or so, and it's all I've done for a while now. but also I've been shopping around for stuff to do after. There's a lot of fine romantic things to do, but the big problem is none of them pay your bills. I admit, I can be a nice person, but even in my laziness, I am very mercenary. I mean that in a pure way. I need to make money to live, and don't really care how I do it.

>there are so many differences out there just waiting to be made.
Do I have to go fight in some war or something?
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Charles Wudgecocke - Tue, 05 Apr 2022 06:46:52 EST xWyNz9sW No.542553 Reply
>>542552
You totally dodged that alcohol question. Been doing that for a while, huh?
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George Drummerhood - Thu, 07 Apr 2022 20:39:59 EST DMPOlzSV No.542564 Reply
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>>542553
I feel physical pain sometimes. Dodgning questions is in my nature. I have only ever been able to thrive on secrecy and confidentiality, even before the military. Even in college, I think my reputation was that of a confidant; I stayed out of drama, but had understanding of all the gossip.

Should I stop drinking? Absolutely. Will I stop drinking? Not until I'm happy without the bar; not until I can go home and not be so fucking salty I shitpost on 420chan about my non-problems that make me into not so much a raging alcoholic, but an alcoholic that only rages at home
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David Dizzlefuck - Fri, 08 Apr 2022 06:10:25 EST /lCZ61xz No.542568 Reply
>>542564
>Should I stop drinking? Absolutely. Will I stop drinking? Not until I'm happy without the bar;
Hahaha

Drink up, bud.
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Isabella Pudgeforth - Sun, 10 Apr 2022 00:58:33 EST DMPOlzSV No.542572 Reply
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>>542568
It's a special place, where people polish their skills against eachother, independent of their ranks.
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Cedric Turveywater - Sun, 10 Apr 2022 21:49:11 EST DMPOlzSV No.542581 Reply
>>542577
ycs bitch
if pandaman could always be out here on his bullshit why cant i
everyone else I knew back in the day is out here getting indicted for bestaility and shit, how am I always still the worst person
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Shit Duckbanks - Thu, 14 Apr 2022 23:15:38 EST DMPOlzSV No.542612 Reply
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Should I start stealing and selling cryprographic keys?
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Priscilla Fudgelot - Thu, 12 May 2022 20:57:24 EST DMPOlzSV No.542787 Reply
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I honestly feel bad about the way my life has gone. I'm not some mercenary. I don't care that much about money or power. Is that a lie? How it's all gone, I've dont what I had to do to make money and live my life. I don't trust people. I conduct myself in a businesslike way irl. I am deeply untrusting, and only make deals. I have no friends. Coworkers, acquaintances, whatever. No friends. Even people who seem to consider me their friend, I'm not that close with. I'm not unfriendly, but I'm honestly not close with anyone. Not even my own family. It took a long time to tell them what I do, and even then, the ones that knew where I worked prior must have taken a long time to get that intel.

On the other hand, the things I reveal on the internet must be easy to compile and yet I don't even tell close people these things. I guess I made a mistake assuming I'm even nearly anonymous on the internet. But even then, it keeps me from going to the gun range lest I run into some fellow /k/ommando, or telling my coworkers what I do or feel or think lest they make some connections.

But even then, then again,
>You're still yapping, aren't you?
>That tells me you're fine.

Flying flat gets you shot down.
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Priscilla Fudgelot - Thu, 12 May 2022 22:31:29 EST DMPOlzSV No.542788 Reply
Why did I join the military?

The real answer, they called back first.

Why didn't I wait longer? Stay in school? Just be content with min wage? Do literally anything else?
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Priscilla Fudgelot - Thu, 12 May 2022 23:24:11 EST DMPOlzSV No.542789 Reply
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Read me the bedtime story about the angel who shoots down scubs.
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Priscilla Fudgelot - Thu, 12 May 2022 23:42:34 EST DMPOlzSV No.542790 Reply
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Y'know, it's seven air-to-air confirmed kills to be an Ace. I've never even participated in a weapons firing in anger, and people act like I'm a murderer when I say I'm military. I'm just a bootleg sysadmin. I'm not even on a ship that has more than some .50 MGs. I'm poised to deploy to europe, and with all this Ukraine shit, I'm sure it'll be a mess, and I can't come back from that clean. Just by participating, it's a mess, and I never wanted any part of it. I never wanted to be in the military. I don't care about the political situation. I'd rather have a small property and cuddle some laying chickens and geese. I don't care about borders. I don't care about language beyond those I speak. For me, deploying is just an excuse for port visits. I don't give a fuck, fuck the whole world.
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Charles Mummleden - Sun, 15 May 2022 00:42:01 EST DMPOlzSV No.542808 Reply
How do I be more aggressive? Every time I'm on the ship self-defence team (QRT) I get the same bad note every time: I'm not aggressive enough. I'm very uncertain when handed a weapon, and don't like opening fire first, it's a legal mess and without direct orders and not being shot at first, it's uneasy to open an engagement even when something is well within the self-defence zone. How do I get the right attitude to send boats down to davy jones once they've closed within a few hundred yards for no good reason other than opening an engagement
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Frederick Fovingwun - Thu, 19 May 2022 23:45:07 EST DMPOlzSV No.542846 Reply
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>>542841
He bothers me enough about his bullshit computer problems (probably self-inflicted)

and honestly, every time i hear from other sailors on other ships that have sailed on my bote, they always say that they don't want to ever sail with it ever again


frags may be in order, but who am I to end a life over a few misstepts and bad management?

read me the bedtime story about the angel who shoots down scrubs.
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Frederick Fovingwun - Fri, 20 May 2022 00:40:02 EST DMPOlzSV No.542847 Reply
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"You're still yapping, aren't you? That tells me you're fine!"
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Ian Widgepere - Fri, 20 May 2022 06:07:30 EST oVotWDjr No.542848 Reply
>>542846
>frags may be in order
Then get serious help. People like you bring morale down and cause damage.
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Edward Gezzlespear - Sun, 22 May 2022 23:58:25 EST DMPOlzSV No.542856 Reply
>>542848
Where is that help gotten? Even if I go to the private sector, won't that kind of damage follow me?
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