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I live....again

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- Fri, 25 Mar 2022 10:54:49 EST fSsrvtD1 No.542499
File: 1648220089874.png -(567550B / 554.25KB, 1024x846) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. I live....again
I feel like a ghost. I fell really ill in 2015, made a full recovery in 2020, work full time on hard jobs for a year and a half now and I still don't feel normal again.

How long will it take to get my ego back? I feel like I have a hole in my head.
User is currently banned from all boards
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Eugene Genningfuck - Fri, 25 Mar 2022 17:23:36 EST +qXVkQpN No.542500 Reply
you're probably still healing, especially if it had anything to do with your brain.

Ok so you are not having a good time where you are now, what's wrong with where you are now? are there any good things about where you are now? If this was someone else's normal their whole life, what would they like and dislike about it?
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Esther Wobbermork - Fri, 25 Mar 2022 21:32:33 EST DMPOlzSV No.542504 Reply
1648258353668.jpg -(85180B / 83.18KB, 532x621) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
>>542499
posting b/c i wanna know too
im maintaining but i wanna go from just maintaining to being healthy
User is currently banned from all boards
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Cedric Chezzlepire - Sat, 26 Mar 2022 12:30:58 EST e4mpq/dc No.542506 Reply
>>542500
Yeah, I think I suffered some nerve damage.
I want to speed up the healing process, it's making me nuts.
>>
Cedric Chezzlepire - Sat, 26 Mar 2022 12:30:58 EST e4mpq/dc No.542507 Reply
>>542500
Yeah, I think I suffered some nerve damage.
I want to speed up the healing process, it's making me nuts.
>>
Basil Saggledudge - Sat, 02 Apr 2022 22:37:05 EST Rv2KrrEU No.542537 Reply
>>542499
> How long will it take to get my ego back?
it takes months or years
>>
Eliza Devingnore - Fri, 15 Apr 2022 09:12:21 EST fSsrvtD1 No.542618 Reply
>>542537
1.5 years has passed and still nothing...
I feel like offing myself and hoping to be reborn at this point.
User is currently banned from all boards
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Lillian Nallylock - Fri, 15 Apr 2022 09:27:16 EST FpRXG+wO No.542619 Reply
>>542618
Thinking of suicide as a reset button is a dangerous meme that you shouldn't repeat.
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Sophie Gaffinghall - Thu, 28 Apr 2022 07:07:11 EST nvNqs9/D No.542681 Reply
>>542678
Pick a direction and go. Determine a goal you can achieve and take steps to achieve it. Follow it through to the end. Prioritize it, make it more important than anything else other than feeding yourself and sleeping.

It could be anything and focused on anything. You could just want a bank account with $1000 in it. Maybe you want a job but you lack a qualification and you need to get into the social services system and use what's available to you to get one. Maybe you just need to clean your environment once a week and do your laundry, anything.

If you don't like the bed you're sleeping in, perhaps you can get out of it, get a day labor job or something similar, take a month, get the money, and go buy a new bed. Anything would give you the experience of knowing what a goal is and what achieving goals feels like.
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Sophie Gaffinghall - Thu, 28 Apr 2022 07:07:56 EST nvNqs9/D No.542682 Reply
>>542681
Why does kuroba post in the wrong thread sometimes?
>>
Edwin Pirryway - Fri, 06 May 2022 04:43:49 EST a9eQ0vyO No.542730 Reply
>>542681
That's what I have been doing. Or think that I have been doing.
I just wanna forget that [2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, 2020/ happened.
>>542680
Work in power trading / electronics, do exercises / volleyball but I'm still in psychological pain.

I also can't seem to find a woman/partner, they are all stuck in their own world with airpods in.
>>
Albert Hickleham - Fri, 06 May 2022 07:35:59 EST bABJmyHt No.542731 Reply
>>542730
>I'm still in psychological pain.
>
>I also can't seem to find a woman/partner
Fix your issues first before you go into a relationship.
>>
David Benningshit - Wed, 18 May 2022 13:13:33 EST epQ7e82F No.542834 Reply
I somewhat relate.
I was depressed for long periods of time, and finally I'm managing some more permanent change.
Except one thing:
Whereas before I somewhat enjoyed and actively wanted to be in solitude most of the time.
Now I cannot stand it.
What's worse is that a lot of the distractions I relied upon are now very annoying to me or just feel as a waste of time.
But I can't be productive all the time, especially with my studies taxing my brain so much.
So, even things like practicing guitar, reading or programming - I can't do at will (even though I immensely enjoy said activities).

By the nature of things, I don't have many friends. But I also am bad at making friends - and I'm not going to even touch on relationships.

At times I wish I'd still been more depressed, as I've lost my apathy now.
But I fully realize that it's bad to go back.
I guess I'm just venting at least.
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Alice Worthingworth - Sun, 22 May 2022 03:18:58 EST P4MOu9qX No.542851 Reply
OP I literally have a hole in my head and related nerve damage (from a tumor). Nothing ever was normal, that idea is just a salve healthy people use to make their fear stop. When students have been poking around inside your open skull, it has a way of demeaning you. Don't get ahead of the process. Five years is a long time to be in the shit. I imagine it'll take five years of living normally to feel normal.
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Fucking Wuckleman - Sun, 22 May 2022 05:07:19 EST 5Y6plR8X No.542852 Reply
>>542504
Why are her breasts drawn like that. Looks like one giant tumor boob>>
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George Hockleworth - Mon, 23 May 2022 06:10:46 EST a9eQ0vyO No.542858 Reply
>>542851
Thanks,
It seems to be getting better/normal on a month by month basis.
Going to various student sports and other events will likely help.

Time heals all wounds, hopefully this one as well.
>>
Charlotte Dremmerworth - Fri, 27 May 2022 18:23:48 EST DMPOlzSV No.542879 Reply
>>542851
>When students have been poking around inside your open skull,
ngl that sounds like it unironically owns

>you will never get a waterfall diagram of your very thoughts as extracted from your own medula-whatever

hitting my own cortical stack with Cardpeek and Wireshark when
User is currently banned from all boards
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Fanny Ceffingston - Wed, 01 Jun 2022 04:10:19 EST YZNzfUBc No.542911 Reply
>>542851
>I imagine it'll take five years of living normally to feel normal.

That sounds too long, sadly humans age.
Quick update: it has been 1.5 years now, still feeling weakened but getting there.
Got invited to birthday parties, will force myself to go but not feeling it.
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