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Parent Drama

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- Mon, 16 May 2022 21:07:29 EST g0L7pTWH No.542825
File: 1652749649469.png -(288807B / 282.04KB, 889x592) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Parent Drama
It's not like I don't get along with my parents, it's just they literally have this totally false idea of who I really am. Being around them depresses me so much, and I feel like whenever they're in my life, it always puts a huge strain financially, emotionally, and who I am as a person. I care, and I hate that I care about them. I then forget that I hate being around them, and try to reconnect, and the same pain happens.

Bla bla bla, IDK, not looking for consolation, I just need better relationships. Thanks for listening. Not to mention my room-mates are kind of living human garbage, but maybe it's me, maybe I'm the living human garbage.
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Albert Sublingson - Tue, 17 May 2022 08:10:14 EST gE3BAhW2 No.542826 Reply
>>542825
practice saying

When you do _____ I feel ____

and just leaving the ball in their court

Another thing you can do is see your parents more often but for much shorter periods, e.g. 5 minutes a day most days instead of a whole hour all together once a month. Most of us find ourselves getting undifferentiated after spending some time with our parents and turning into something else, That way you don't have to cut them off or anything but emotionally and maturity wise you don't get thrown off kilter
>>
Albert Sublingson - Tue, 17 May 2022 08:23:20 EST gE3BAhW2 No.542827 Reply
>>542826
(you can figure out for *you* what lenght of time you can be with them without becoming undifferentiated. Some people can even do 2 whole days!!! but usually those are people who've had years of therapy ha ha, that's how normal it is to regress around your parents)
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Phyllis Pesslesore - Wed, 15 Jun 2022 13:22:18 EST JRUjsS4e No.542961 Reply
>>542825
well, I know that feel... I'm going through the exact same thing. I hate the way my mom see me, it makes me feel so bad, I hate all this stress. when I'm fine, she destroys everything, she's like a personal demon

I just want real people
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Anonymous - Thu, 16 Jun 2022 23:01:51 EST 4xinlC6y No.542967 Reply
>>542961
You have real good people around you. Friends, a gf/bf and some good-hearted persons who can help you.
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Nigel Bummerkin - Thu, 23 Jun 2022 13:28:58 EST L3FBDn4b No.543043 Reply
>>542825
im in my mid 30s and in the last 4-5 years my relationship with my mother has devolved into complete madness. its too much to type but the bottom line is that if they don't respect you and treat you as they should, and you're an adult now, i wouldn't feel the least bit bad about cutting them out and/or seeing them less often. i wish i had understood that earlier in life. yea they're your parents, but that doesn't mean they can't be a piece of shit human. and I also have dealt with roommate BS in the past. lived with the same 2 roommates for 5 years. Looking back it was a huge mistake and i wish i had never moved in with them if possible. wish i had got a 1br by myself. get out while you can. don't let them fuck you over.
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James Shittingfoot - Thu, 23 Jun 2022 13:58:32 EST zKmfI809 No.543044 Reply
>>542967
Is this bait?
User is currently banned from all boards
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Edwin Podgemeck - Sat, 02 Jul 2022 14:30:28 EST Nw5FQLpa No.543139 Reply
how much time do you spend with them when you try to reconnect? Is it possible that you could get on really well with your parents in small doses? E.g. have a meal with them once a month and then go home, or phone them for 5 minutes a day instead of an hour all together once a month? Something like that?
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Phyllis Chidgestuck - Tue, 05 Jul 2022 07:56:07 EST 5/pcuK5P No.543143 Reply
>>542825
>... they literally have this totally false idea of who I really am. Being around them depresses me so much, and I feel like whenever they're in my life, it always puts a huge strain financially, emotionally, and who I am as a person.
I think I was like that, sounds like you let other people decide who you are. Like you are too lazy to exert your character on others. Corny as it sounds, do you have the courage to be who you really are around them?
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Molly Gozzlewill - Tue, 05 Jul 2022 16:59:05 EST qA1/TpI2 No.543144 Reply
>>543143
Yeah, I get that sense, it's hard for me to counter people's conjecture. I'm the youngest in a big family, and feel I was never really considered as a person, so much as something to deal with in regards to the family unit. IDK shit's fucked.

Parents divorced too, dad was probably also dealing with his own problems, and mom was arguably the dominant one, in a passive kind of way, with her own problems.

It's hard for me to talk and be heard for who I am, it's either like I'm not heard, or I have to yell, pattern happens in a lot of my relationships, work, friends, etc. Then people think I'm unhinged. My dad would always tell me to have more courage, but at the same time he'd tell me the world was out to get me. Mom was kind of just there, dismissive in a way.

It's definitely developed into like an insecurity and neediness in social relationships, I solicit people's opinions about me cause I don't know where I stand socially, and also want to be more social, but feel like people end up abandoning me cause it's too much self-critical energy.

I wouldn't call it laziness, but from the outside it probably appears like lazy indifference. I took some MDMA the other weekend and felt like I could see how this deep despair was manifesting as apathy. Being sober, it's like I'm now in that pattern without the outside view.
User is currently banned from all boards
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Thomas Wucklewick - Wed, 06 Jul 2022 06:14:00 EST MfB/JhQ8 No.543148 Reply
>>543144
How tragically comic that you are now banned from the one place where you felt comfortable enough to admit your own shortcomings. Everywhere you go, everyone thinks your a shithead. You just can't catch a break.
>pattern happens in a lot of my relationships
Yeah, I bet lol. If you're aren't completely embittered, I would definitely try to examine that.
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Priscilla Clayham - Wed, 06 Jul 2022 06:32:35 EST gWcTp1aA No.543149 Reply
>>543144
>want to be more social, but feel like people end up abandoning me cause it's too much self-critical energy
Are you afraid to be self-critical?

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