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Harm Reduction Notes for the COVID-19 Pandemic

is there a safe way to act on this fetish in real life

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- Tue, 13 Aug 2019 01:25:28 EST 4ycvK41t No.101421
File: 1565673928432.jpg -(77333B / 75.52KB, 1280x720) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. is there a safe way to act on this fetish in real life
So I was playing with myself high as shit the other day and this kink came into my head out of no where and it's so fucking hot to me but there's 0 content for it that I've found and I've been trying to come up with a way to do this while making it physically safe for me and legally safe for a guy.

Basically, I want to be date-raped. Not actually, obviously, but in a roleplaying sense with a partner I can trust. So I take enough downers to get in this state where I'm in and out of consciousness but mostly in so I can still experience it a guy totally has his way with me, does whatever he wants to me (excluding play I never ever do like shit, vomit, cutting, etc.), Want to throw in shit that I've already been into like bondage, bukkake, light hitting/slapping, and choking.

My main concern for me is that something could go wrong for me during it and I'll want it to stop but I'll be too incapacitated to remember or say the safe word. Also slightly concerned for any partner because while I obviously would never report him or press charges, it's definitely not legal to do this to someone.

Also wondering if something this extreme is a sign of mental problems and any explanation as to why the fuck I want this to happen to me. I honestly think a lot of things go into it, the power dynamic, the total lack of control, the complete passivity on my part, the pleasure of being dominated while out of my mind on drugs, the idea of being used, the intimacy of actually trusting someone enough to let them do this to me and not have it affect our relationship outside of the context of sex. Also probably cripplingly low self-esteem and daddy issues.
7 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
Eugene Dirringded - Fri, 16 Aug 2019 09:10:10 EST 9VODpsbn No.101448 Reply
I dunno, your fantasy doesn't sound that extreme to me.
I'm a guy and I wouldn't mind being "drugged" and "taken advantage of" by my girlfriend. To me it's no different from a bdsm fantasy. I like the idea of being controlled, or being used for other people's pleasure.

One time I was really fucked up on alcohol and weed and I could barely get off the couch. My girlfriend made some comment about having sex, and I told her I wanted to take advantage of me like I'm passed out at a frat party.

We did end up having sex, but she didn't really take control the way I wanted... But I think it's basically the same kind of fantasy you're describing here.
Archie Gittingford - Thu, 29 Aug 2019 07:57:06 EST EfIJ6H28 No.101494 Reply
One thing to keep in mind, a person won't know if something they do is hurting you if you aren't coherent enough to respond to pain stimuli.
It would be most advantageous to do this with someone who is experienced with your body, but also comfortable performing on your unconscious body.

Such a person would be a rare find.

Does liking shemales and traps affect your relationship?

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- Wed, 16 Oct 2019 19:17:13 EST Je176exK No.101603
File: 1571267833455.jpg -(334893B / 327.04KB, 640x793) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Does liking shemales and traps affect your relationship?
I've always been attached to trans porn from when I was young (it was the first thing is was exposed to) and now there's a girl that I'm dating and want to make it work (I do love her) but recently when viewing porn I can't seem to get off to any thing but shemales and traps....

Is this because I've just become desensitized to regular porn in general? Is it just cause I'm a virgin and this is the first girl I might fuck?
Am I not sexually attracted to female parts anymore?

I'm not sure what to think but I wanted to get some advice from anyone really
7 posts and 2 images omitted. Click View Thread to read.
Albert Fenderman - Wed, 06 Nov 2019 23:18:11 EST Hmsx4aXI No.101643 Reply
1573100291001.png -(9832929B / 9.38MB, 2240x2198) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
Personally in my youth I spent a fair deal of time looking at, shall we say intense, pornography from japan. This included traps w/e and did hold my interest over vanilla porn. In the end having a few relationships with women (and a few men), having just 'normal' sex blew my mind and ended any seriousness I had about realizing any of the weird shit I've beat off to irl.
Fast forward a couple of years I did hookup with a transexual man, who had titties and a dick, and it was pretty splendid.
Anyhow, since you are a virgin, I seriously recommend you just focus on building chemistry with people around them. Men, and women can provide you a level of pleasure (and companionship) that is 420 lit. Don't worry too much, just go with the flooooow.
Betsy Merringline - Sun, 10 Nov 2019 16:56:11 EST 30v+83g1 No.101660 Reply
1573422971383.jpg -(32204B / 31.45KB, 266x364) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
That response helped me to think about it clearly, thanks I will try and just not focus on it and focus on building a relationship

PC/BC muscle difference, cure PE

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- Thu, 31 Oct 2019 14:37:53 EST BqTliqa0 No.101630
File: 1572547073056.jpg -(9758B / 9.53KB, 301x168) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. PC/BC muscle difference, cure PE
Either my pc / bc muscles or both are overworked, they are involuntarely twitching a lot. When I try to locate the pc muscle and stop the flow of urine, almost every time there is a burst of piss that flies out FIRST, then the urine flow is stopped. So this Tells me I contract the bc muscle as well when trying to contract the pc muscle, it almost feels like the same muscle... and I cant contract the pc muscle on its own. Or I may be contracting it subconsciously all the time and dont even know it... thus it leaves room for confusion.

Does this mean both my pc / bc muscles are overworked or underworked? What must I do to gain a greater control and ultimately being able to have those muscles relaxed, and not be twitchy all the time. Over stimulating pc / bc muscles inst good, but having weak ones isn't good either... I don't wanna stress them out but want to be able to relax them ... What exercises should be suitable, and any advice to learn how to differentiate between these muscles?

Basically when i try to contract the pc muscle, i automatically flex the bc muscle first, while it feels like i'm only doing the pc muscle... how to tell the difference? When I try to relax the pelvic muscles its going in circles. And especially when jacking off those muscles are twitching a lot , so how to learn to relax them completely?

What is the secret to curing premature ejaculation? both pc & bc muscles should be relaxed I think. What about the anal sphincters / prostate gland?

Asian massage

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- Wed, 08 May 2019 12:24:49 EST uZGqVWy4 No.101130
File: 1557332689803.jpg -(24145B / 23.58KB, 800x500) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Asian massage
I went to a massage parlor for the first time yesterday, and it left me very confused. I saw an ad for the place on cityxguide, which made me believe there was a possibility of getting a rub n tizzug. I walked in, and a cute young Asian girl said "massage" and pointed to the sign showing their rates. I told her I wanted an hour, and she led me to one of the rooms and then left.
I saw there was a robe in the room, so I got naked and put it on. When she came back in, she laughed and motioned for me to take off the robe and lay naked face down on the table. I did, and then she layer a sheet over me. She massaged my back and shoulders for a bit, and then she hopped on my back and was rubbing her pussy on my butt while she massaged my back. She did this for a bit and then got back down. She oiled up my back, and started rubbing it again, then she oiled my butt cheeks and massaged them for a little bit and occasionally rubbed in my inner thigh near my balls. Eventually, she had me flip over, and by that time I had a decent boner going that I know she saw. She massaged my chest and arms and then my legs while going in my inner thigh again and touching my balls. By this point, I was sure I was going to get a hand job at the very least. She moved on to massaging my head and neck, and while she was doing that, I lost my hard on. The last thing she'd did was massage my legs again and put her hands near my groin, but not long enough to get my boner going again. Then she said "finished" and left the room without giving me a happy ending. I was confused because all the signs were there that she was going to jerk me off, but it never happened. I was making eye contact with her and waiting for some kind of signal or sign, but there was none. Was I supposed to ask or make some kind of signal? I tried making conversation during the massage, but she didn't speak much English. Before I left, she asked me to put a tip on the credit card receipt. I only gave her 5 bucks cause I was confused that she didn't finish me off. Does anyone have experience with asian massages and explain what i did wrong?
1 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
Nigel Duckham - Tue, 06 Aug 2019 07:49:42 EST iHjGOLqE No.101391 Reply

lol credit card receipt. bring cash next time, FFS.

Did you try to pay with a check first that said "Rub and tug" in the memo line?
Polly Lightham - Tue, 06 Aug 2019 14:11:43 EST m9G+5hIN No.101392 Reply
well the way it worked back in the day was you just flash a lot of cash money like the people said
essentially prostitution in this manner is actually possible whenever you are alone with a woman anyway if you are ballsy enough
some places would just say no if you went in guessing it was that way, without knowing it was actually a brothel
Priscilla Pennerpane - Thu, 24 Oct 2019 19:09:09 EST s1bQy3W0 No.101616 Reply
1571958549194.jpg -(60991B / 59.56KB, 639x643) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
ive been to one massage parlor n they're very straight forward lol one of the girls their allready knows me n gave me her schedule. goes to show i should stop going so frequently.

Best Sexual Experience

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- Tue, 22 Oct 2019 11:31:11 EST zIyndVzN No.101611
File: 1571758271581.jpg -(2925456B / 2.79MB, 6000x4000) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Best Sexual Experience
I don't really have issues with getting hard or lasting too long (it's funny on wiki it says the average time for intercourse is 7 mins)
Anyway I'm 31 years old, and I have had issues before with cumin before the did. However I have since found a situation where I can screw for 4 hours and make her cum 2-3 times

Firstly testosterone, this is crucial for us guys. If you have low levels or even suspect it just get gel sachets you can apply to your arms daily.
Then secondly take Cialis every other day. That shit has a half life of like 20-40 hours. Take a small dose, so you feel it but it isn't too much. For gym rats it's also great for the pump full body.
Lastly take a muscle relaxant, valium, Xanax, clonazepam, whatever, but again small dose it. If you take too much you won't cum.
Even if you are a stallion great, but most are not, and even if you are everything above will make things more fun, close and intense.
Augustus Hendleham - Tue, 22 Oct 2019 13:43:12 EST DiCU30tX No.101612 Reply
Honestly those are good but real sex tips for supplementing your body but that's only one part of the battle and I think a lot the desire to be a superhuman jackhammer to that extent is purely male ego. I've not had a lot of experience but right now I am fucking this lady better than anyone she's ever had and better than I ever had and most of it is because she isn't afraid or ashamed of what she likes and I listen and care about making her enjoy it rather than sex being about me. Focus on her.
>talk to her and find out what she wants
>work out what you want
>figure out how to combine them in a way that is authentic and comfortable
>foreplay is a misnomer, most of it should continue while you go
>also foreplay is an art and what you do aside from with your dick is room to get creative
>don't be afraid to try things that sound like she'd like them if no one's done them before

I can go for maybe 7 minutes lol and make her cum 2-4 times. Not counting 15-30 minutes before I put my dick in of course. I could go for an hour or more before we got bored with a previous partner but she was too stuck in her own head. I'm not doing anything different with my dick here at all, it's just what I do to her brain.

I mean I'm not saying she can always walk right when I'm done but I actually prefer for her to be okay on her next 12 hour shift at work.
Caroline Horringbanks - Tue, 22 Oct 2019 16:12:44 EST ULcxItn1 No.101614 Reply
oh for sure, you need talk about what you both like, dislike, and really like. Saying each others name, groaning and moaning close to each others ear, are all essential. 4play is the most essential part of it all anyway

How much before I pop the boys?

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- Fri, 16 Aug 2019 04:50:40 EST bFqd6r6s No.101445
File: 1565945440846.png -(148742B / 145.26KB, 584x584) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. How much before I pop the boys?
I've been into hardcore ballbusting, ball stomping, squeezing etc for couple of months now, usually doing it half a dozen times a week (with my gf). How much time do I have left? I dont want to castrate myself but I also dont want to stop doing this, so I'll just accept the conseqnuences, but I want to know how much time will I have before my balls pop.
3 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
Henry Brushdale - Tue, 08 Oct 2019 20:12:05 EST qpydaAYH No.101588 Reply
are you the dude on /b/ that had the dick box? How'd that work out?
Hannah Bannerwill - Thu, 10 Oct 2019 02:07:31 EST lMGcZOeH No.101590 Reply
go freeze your sperm
Sophie Sunnerfield - Fri, 18 Oct 2019 18:43:02 EST 82S1A0Wo No.101607 Reply
Shit, I don't want to be disrespectful or anything, but how is that in any way enjoyable?

I sort of get enjoying pain, but the balls seem just so fragile. I mean, you're posting here because you obvioulsy are sort of afraid about it, but that doesn't stop you from doing it twice fucking times a day! Again, not judging, just pretty amazed at the whole of it.

PC/BC muscles

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- Wed, 02 Oct 2019 10:46:02 EST w0zEM1mL No.101573
File: 1570027562179.png -(548898B / 536.03KB, 559x620) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. PC/BC muscles
What do you wanna do with the BC/PC muscles during sexual activity to cure premature ejaculation. do you want both of them completely relaxed at all times?

Also I think I got the bc and pc mixed up, it feels like the same muscle... I feel i can clench the BC muscle as well when I do the "stop piss from coming out" technique, but only slightly before I make that clench fully, feels like its the same muscle as PC. How to calm down over active / twitchy pc-bc muscles? its never fully relaxed either its twitching all the time but i dunno if its the pc or the bc muscle thats so twitchy.
Samuel Sublingsat - Sun, 06 Oct 2019 17:18:53 EST tPHf++fp No.101582 Reply
>>101573 I needs musky menz to protect me and my boys. Call me, ball me.419-999-6455

Rough sex and feels

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- Sat, 28 Sep 2019 21:25:24 EST 5iwJm7yG No.101564
File: 1569720324722.gif -(1968214B / 1.88MB, 500x580) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Rough sex and feels
So, suppose you have toxic relationships with women. And they're centered around a lot of really fucked up rough sex. And you love them, respect them, and want to cook them nice omelettes for breakfast. But you have this weird dynamic with them, where they want you to be this monster to them sometimes but hate you for being a monster.

How do I deal with it? Do you just embrace being the monster and tell them to deal with it or make up their mind? How do you achieve understanding between them and you so you're not hurting their feelings, just supporting their lives, giving them pleasure, and what they want? It gets pretty messed up sometimes, especially women can get emotional and I understand it and enjoy it being the supportive beast when it is welcome. I'm just not sure what to make of it. They drive me nuts, but at the same time, I feel like we're always two people trying to help each other while not being honest about what we really need from each other, and I get blamed for being something natural.

Does anybody else understand?
DrWorm !Jq.HCcHctg - Mon, 30 Sep 2019 02:52:11 EST 39HxT7fE No.101568 Reply
take your meds, bro

>Does anybody else understand?
No, none of that shit made sense
John Trotshit - Tue, 01 Oct 2019 06:04:50 EST KzXQBbEY No.101572 Reply
I understand completely, don't waste your time with women who are too weak and cowardly to tell you what they want.
Walter Sucklemodge - Wed, 02 Oct 2019 18:29:25 EST sGc/SSpd No.101574 Reply
I sort of follow.

If people are able to give informed consent and it's okay then it's usually okay. Having rough sex doesn't make you a monster if that's what your partner asks for. OP's partner is the mental case. Asking for something then getting annoyed. I think there are a few women who like that shit but have trouble accepting it. They need to live with the consequences of their choices and not blame people like OP.

Some people live whole BDSM relationships some just have kinky sex. OP sounds like the latter. You communicate, you discuss exactly what is and isn't okay and what they like and you do it and if they say "no wait I don't like that" fine, but if they get angry later they're just being a shithead. You're not a monster if you're getting off on them enjoying it and they're totally okay with it. If they then get annoyed it's on them.

Yeah as the other guy said this isn't about women or you. It's about you with someone too weak to accept who she is. Give her a chance but if she won't take it, don't waste your time on her.

Chauvinist polygamist angst

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- Tue, 17 Sep 2019 06:56:39 EST tV3f5XFg No.101544
File: 1568717799653.jpg -(86679B / 84.65KB, 500x625) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Chauvinist polygamist angst
So, I'm sure I'll get a lot of crap for thinking this. But is it really so bad to have multiple girls? I feel like they'd all get a long if they didn't get crap from their family about it, and some might even be okay with it. Suppose you've got a decent brain and body and a means of supporting all of them in some way as well, and take care of any children that come from it.

I know it's a bit arrogant, and that the converse would probably have to be respected for other reasons. And then there's the slippery slope argument (first gays, then sister wives, then pedophiles). I would shoot pedophiles if it was legal.

But, aside from the cultural aspects, is it really that bad? I feel like biologically it's actually more natural.
3 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
!scyTheNg3k - Tue, 24 Sep 2019 11:01:19 EST kgfYEhuW No.101553 Reply
1569337279615.gif -(124228B / 121.32KB, 935x941) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
Yeah lol it’s unstable. Any romantic grouping falls apart if two people start to dislike each other. So with two people there’s only one way to fail. With three people you have three instabilities: A dislikes B, B dislikes C or C dislikes A. With four people you have six points of failure: A vs B, A vs C, A vs D, B vs C, B vs D, C vs D. With five people, 10 points of failure, and the eight gay dads from Bojack Horseman enjoy 28 possible pairings that can go wrong.

Now, you can, of course, inhibit this by creating some sort of authority that resolves disputes. However, most people would agree, when you do this it ceases to be a romantic grouping. And remaining in a “relationship” where you dislike one of your “partners” is guaranteed misery. The math says you can do three if you’re lucky and any more than that is nuts.

So the question is: are these women side characters in your autobiography? Or are they humans with preferences and desires of their own?
Augustus Pupperfield - Sat, 28 Sep 2019 22:32:37 EST 5iwJm7yG No.101566 Reply
I mean it's just a sex cult at some point. Maybe that's just what I should call it and stop trying to rationalize it.
Hedda Fecklehood - Sun, 29 Sep 2019 01:54:31 EST ncAcbRbk No.101567 Reply
If you're having to tell yourself to "cool it" every week, maybe you need some kind of outlet. Like seriously. I mean, it's not healthy. I know it's not right. But an outlet is better than running around like a chicken without your head. I mean, if you naturally occurringly, just had the capacity to ejaculate eight times a day sometimes, and felt incredibly uncomfortable if you could not when you felt you "neeed" to, wouldn't you want a healthy outlet for release, even if it weren't acceptable?

I forgot I made this thread so sorry about the double post, didn't eralize it was that slow lately.

Basically all the same shit. I think it's healhier for me to release my sexual degeneracy rather than try to blend in with normal people.

Sex toy vs Pornography

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- Sat, 13 Jul 2019 09:47:58 EST DYjYEN+2 No.101334
File: 1563025678065.jpg -(25807B / 25.20KB, 600x600) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Sex toy vs Pornography
Pornography is pretty unhealthy in many ways... But would getting a sex toy be the same caliber of unhealthiness as watching pornography? Or is it not even comparable.

I wouldn't even ever jack off without watching porn but I havent done it in 3 years because it rapes the mind and I feel its not healthy. Basically can't even get excited by not watching porn and its not even worth it... Therefore the next best thing I can think of is a good quality sex toy like a blowjob machine or something... But can you really compare this to the unhealthiness of porn+jacking off or would this be crystal clear case of -Healthy-- rather than jacking off vs porn?
9 posts and 3 images omitted. Click View Thread to read.
Esther Gagglebit - Sat, 14 Sep 2019 13:30:15 EST q71sVuvx No.101537 Reply
Yo if you say shit like porn rapes the mind, you have other issues.
Cyril Borrystone - Sat, 14 Sep 2019 19:53:49 EST /+CaG5Q6 No.101540 Reply
Yeah, if you invite someone over and tell them to fuck you as hard as they can it'd be kinda shitty to call it rape afterwards.
The porn didn't force itself onto OP, one has to seek out porn.
Exception would be porn ads ofc, they're kinda intrusive, but that's more like catcalling.
BolshoiBooze - Tue, 24 Sep 2019 13:24:18 EST YOiz0A+X No.101554 Reply
1569345858829.jpg -(203653B / 198.88KB, 1000x1777) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
What about using a doll like this? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pYw39_kC8tE

Is it CON-sidered as porn? also How many females r Whores ready to Get Shot To The Moon By BoyToyCuntWhore . Once they Experience a mega Pleasure dont They get addicted to it like Anyone else, or do they Value Other UseLess shit than Mega full Body Orgasm ??

Why orgasms felt so different from when I first discovered them?

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- Sat, 25 May 2019 03:15:00 EST aiv2CnGa No.101162
File: 1558768500914.jpg -(19078B / 18.63KB, 331x245) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Why orgasms felt so different from when I first discovered them?

I'm curious as to why orgasms felt so different from when I first discovered them via masturbation, (with a shower-head, and various vibrating household items.) It seems like when I was 14, or younger, my orgasms could be felt throughout my body in waves. They were an emotional, even spiritual experience; although I didn't have that vocabulary to describe them this way at the time. It was just an unbelievably warm, fuzzy, pulsating and ecstatic feeling, permeating throughout my body.

They were all hands-free (I knew no other way besides vibration, or shower-head,) and it seems like once I discovered you could use your hand, the special feeling slowly disappeared, and soon became a "meh," feeling. Now, at 31, it's almost like an excretion: Do it, get it over with, and get on with whatever you were doing.

Anyone else have the same kind of experience, or even know what I'm talking about?

Note: The shower head--I would detach it, kneel as if crouched, and aim the water at my frenulum--the underside of my penis--and just wait... slowly, a warm elation would build; from my toes to me head, until this strong and overwhelming fuzziness would take over the nervous system--and my brain perceived a profound and mysterious pleasure that was almost unbelievable.
9 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
Jarvis Dondlehick - Wed, 11 Sep 2019 23:52:04 EST NERjToie No.101532 Reply
One tip that has helped me, is to really relish the orgasm. Let yourself feel it, let yourself bask in it for a little bit. Instead of immediately heading to clean-up and thinking about what you're moving on to next, stop and just relax, enjoy and love yourself for a little bit. Even during orgasm, try to just slow that down and allow yourself to just sit in how really good you feel.

I think over time as it becomes more commonplace, we naturally tend to move on from it too quickly, so it can help to stop treating it like a chore or a quick snack, and allow yourself to spend some time with the joy of it, I bet it will be 10x better for you if you do.
Matilda Buttingforth - Thu, 12 Sep 2019 15:31:42 EST 7bJwU3Ag No.101533 Reply
Mindfulness while cumming. Can't hurt to try though.
Esther Gagglebit - Sat, 14 Sep 2019 13:37:19 EST q71sVuvx No.101539 Reply
Yeah you need to mix it up a bit. Discover something new about getting off. Edge, use toys, abstain for three months, try going back to hands free, freeze the hand you don't normally use, etc. I'd recommend autoerotic asphyxiation but maybe have a sitter if you go that route.
Jerking off has never felt like a chore to me and every orgasm is amazing and different because I don't fall Iinto routines and I constantly push my limits, boundaries, and tolerances.


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- Thu, 25 Jul 2019 08:01:51 EST 40go6b16 No.101354
File: 1564056111687.png -(12371B / 12.08KB, 248x203) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Fisting
My wife and I will be trying out fishing for the first time in less than 24 hours. To be specific, she's gonna be fisting my ass.

We do a lot of toy play with strap-ons and all, nothing this wild. The craziest we've gotten so far is her suffocating me/choking me out while jerking me off, which I mean, best wife ever. So I'm excited but also nervous, there are some freaky 'gone wrong' stories out there. We've read up on how to prepare, but reading only goes so far. But we have followed all tips and tricks religiously, bought special non-numbing lube, etc.

Any comments or suggestions welcome, and uhhh I guess AMA in a day or so if I live.
9 posts and 1 images omitted. Click View Thread to read.
Sidney Chobbledock - Fri, 16 Aug 2019 04:18:57 EST 0ftKudFq No.101444 Reply
I means bear and grunt, which means it probably HURTS LIKE HELL
Esther Gagglebit - Sat, 14 Sep 2019 13:27:30 EST q71sVuvx No.101536 Reply
I'm very much into pain, and I've (unfortunately?) reached a point where I can't get off without it, half of the time I can't even get hard without it.

However I find there is a very fine line between "hurts enough to cum" and "hurts too much to cum" it's obviously a very flexible line, though, and it's certainly trending in one direction. I think I'll have to give this a shot if (when lul) I need a stronger fix.

Top wants to be a dom

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- Thu, 09 May 2019 20:28:27 EST VXKwPyLD No.101136
File: 1557448107544.gif -(1022081B / 998.13KB, 500x229) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Top wants to be a dom
So I'm a relatively kinky guy. I have a collection of toys, I'm learning more ties everyday, I'm pretty rough in the bedroom. I'm not a dungeon master but I'm far from vanilla. However I've realized that I'm more of a top not a dom. I take control during sex and I'm the one doing most of the work so to speak. But when it comes to more of the "play elements" I'm pretty lacking. For example, I don't know how to properly give orders and punishment, I'm not very vocally assertive and typically don't act like a dom.

I've pinpointed a few reasons for why I believe I'm like this.

I don't have to be very aggressive in my life or work. I don't have children or pets so I don't dole out punishments or give orders. I work in medicine so everyone I see at work is pretty obedient and complacent when I give orders, I mean what are you gonna do? Not take medicine and die of super aids?

I don't take kink as a lifestyle. For me kink is some extra fun in the bedroom. I'm not into 24/7 M/s relationships and find it to be a bit overkill. I don't want my sexuality to be my identity. I also find that some parts of the BDSM lifestyle takes itself WAY too seriously for my liking. Like one time on a discussion for things to keep in your toy chest, one guy listed "chocolate, to help your sub recover in aftercare". I found this so ludicrous my stomach hurt from laughing, like just what type of fucking psychological damage are you doing to a person? It's sex, you're not fighting fucking dementors.

But you see, maybe it's because I just don't get it that I'm like this.


How do I be more of a dom?
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Albert Chasslelotch - Sat, 20 Jul 2019 22:23:18 EST +suP7qQ1 No.101344 Reply
I'm a bottom, and kind of like tops like that.. I just want sex in a certain style. Most tops I've been with are pretty relaxed, trying to accommodate me like I'm some fragile kitten. Most doms want me to call them "sir", wear a collar, etc.,.

I just want a guy with a big dick to have me bend over, pound my ass like crazy, then cum all over my face and then we shake hands, and part ways, or go play video games like nothing happened.
Betsy Clayfuck - Tue, 10 Sep 2019 11:49:57 EST EQL9LtLd No.101529 Reply
Not really related but I'm a giver and a dom.
You don't need to be an edgy overlord. It's all about the amount of self-confidence you have. If people see you as a leader they will instinctively follow.
"You are going to have an orgasm, maybe more, then I'm going to use your for my own pleasure and you'll get to watch."
Truth is you don't even need to speak with words, body language and eye contact will do most of the work.
If you don't ever feel like winning a stare contest or restraining a sex partner without asking you're most likely not a dom but just someone that could eventually handle this role.
Betsy Clayfuck - Tue, 10 Sep 2019 11:55:35 EST EQL9LtLd No.101530 Reply
sidenote : my current sexual partner (and I see her as my future wife but that is not relevant here) is just like me, she knows that she can be a leader, she has this feeling of "I know better" but she still lacks the confidence to embrace who she is.
It's fun being "the man", having her beg for more, but I know that one day she'll get bored and will contest my leading role. Then I'll get to tame her OR be a switch (I like it but haven't been able to do this in a while) and that will be fun.

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