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Top wants to be a dom

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- Thu, 09 May 2019 20:28:27 EST VXKwPyLD No.101136
File: 1557448107544.gif -(1022081B / 998.13KB, 500x229) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Top wants to be a dom
So I'm a relatively kinky guy. I have a collection of toys, I'm learning more ties everyday, I'm pretty rough in the bedroom. I'm not a dungeon master but I'm far from vanilla. However I've realized that I'm more of a top not a dom. I take control during sex and I'm the one doing most of the work so to speak. But when it comes to more of the "play elements" I'm pretty lacking. For example, I don't know how to properly give orders and punishment, I'm not very vocally assertive and typically don't act like a dom.


I've pinpointed a few reasons for why I believe I'm like this.

I don't have to be very aggressive in my life or work. I don't have children or pets so I don't dole out punishments or give orders. I work in medicine so everyone I see at work is pretty obedient and complacent when I give orders, I mean what are you gonna do? Not take medicine and die of super aids?

I don't take kink as a lifestyle. For me kink is some extra fun in the bedroom. I'm not into 24/7 M/s relationships and find it to be a bit overkill. I don't want my sexuality to be my identity. I also find that some parts of the BDSM lifestyle takes itself WAY too seriously for my liking. Like one time on a discussion for things to keep in your toy chest, one guy listed "chocolate, to help your sub recover in aftercare". I found this so ludicrous my stomach hurt from laughing, like just what type of fucking psychological damage are you doing to a person? It's sex, you're not fighting fucking dementors.

But you see, maybe it's because I just don't get it that I'm like this.



TL;DR

How do I be more of a dom?
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Fuck Sittingsire - Tue, 14 May 2019 19:40:10 EST mtawLJ23 No.101144 Reply
Honestly, I didn't read your post because being a dom is more of an innate thing. You either have it or you don't. And if you don't have it, yea you can get it but it will take a while.

If you dominate your own life, you know how to dominate others. Ten years ago, I was the bitchiest little dude you would ever meet. I still am, but I can dom now because I put myself through hell so I could think of myself as a man. I got into multiple fights, did a lot of hard drugs, worked grueling jobs, fucked many many women, became completely honest with my father, and stopped taking shit from people. Now I'm still a sub, but if I need to dom I can.
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William Gommleworth - Thu, 23 May 2019 19:14:24 EST IP2uT1mD No.101159 Reply
>>101144
>"I put myself through hell so I could think of myself as a man. I got into multiple fights, did a lot of hard drugs, worked grueling jobs, fucked many many women, became completely honest with my father, and stopped taking shit from people. Now I'm still a sub, but if I need to dom I can"

I was gonna type a whole thing too, but literally this. Doms are either really neurotic and posessive, or just total sociopaths, so if you're only a little bit dom honestly that's ideal. Sounds like you're worrying a lot about the specifics, for me it helps to visualise and fantasise how I'm gonna dominate ahead of time. But I don't stick to a script or anything, generally talking dirty like a pornstar will end in laughs and loss of arousal. If your sub thinks anything is funny, remind them of their place with a hard spanking.

Some people want to do things like spend hours spanking and punishing their sub and won't get their dick out at all, others see it as foreplay before a rough fuck. Some like handing out consistent and strict punishments, others decide things on the spur of the moment. There's no one way to do it, you just have to want it enough to not be obsessing about the ethical implications; your sub sure won't be if you're doing it right. Do make sure this is what you want though, not all sexual relationships are as clear-cut as pornographic or even anecdotal depictions of D/s.

Good luck, have fun!
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Alice Sundertat - Thu, 20 Jun 2019 05:10:39 EST rfFKN+w4 No.101309 Reply
>>101308
fuck im a new poster here and i was wondering if my name would change. anyways, im a superdomme and i make sure everyone fucks me the way i want to fuck. you need to forget that theres a world outside of the hole or place youre fucking and remember your animalistic male brain, because she (or he) does. its their alignment to be turned on the more theyre submitted and so forth. they want to be submitted, and being creative and skilled is your job in doing so... even outside the bedroom they want to provide for you in a housewife, or boytoy way so all of this translates to your sex lives. imo, to be actively in your animalistic state, howl or yell during orgasm and imagine youre an apex predator and visualise how they would act during climax. it helps you awaken your body, and the sub loves it.
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Albert Chasslelotch - Sat, 20 Jul 2019 22:23:18 EST +suP7qQ1 No.101344 Reply
I'm a bottom, and kind of like tops like that.. I just want sex in a certain style. Most tops I've been with are pretty relaxed, trying to accommodate me like I'm some fragile kitten. Most doms want me to call them "sir", wear a collar, etc.,.

I just want a guy with a big dick to have me bend over, pound my ass like crazy, then cum all over my face and then we shake hands, and part ways, or go play video games like nothing happened.
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Betsy Clayfuck - Tue, 10 Sep 2019 11:49:57 EST EQL9LtLd No.101529 Reply
>>101136
Not really related but I'm a giver and a dom.
You don't need to be an edgy overlord. It's all about the amount of self-confidence you have. If people see you as a leader they will instinctively follow.
"You are going to have an orgasm, maybe more, then I'm going to use your for my own pleasure and you'll get to watch."
Truth is you don't even need to speak with words, body language and eye contact will do most of the work.
If you don't ever feel like winning a stare contest or restraining a sex partner without asking you're most likely not a dom but just someone that could eventually handle this role.
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Betsy Clayfuck - Tue, 10 Sep 2019 11:55:35 EST EQL9LtLd No.101530 Reply
>>101529
sidenote : my current sexual partner (and I see her as my future wife but that is not relevant here) is just like me, she knows that she can be a leader, she has this feeling of "I know better" but she still lacks the confidence to embrace who she is.
It's fun being "the man", having her beg for more, but I know that one day she'll get bored and will contest my leading role. Then I'll get to tame her OR be a switch (I like it but haven't been able to do this in a while) and that will be fun.

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