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Harm Reduction Notes for the COVID-19 Pandemic

People in my family keep accidentally using female pronouns towards me

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- Tue, 11 Jun 2019 00:37:20 EST 4ycvK41t No.101188
File: 1560227840667.jpg -(233741B / 228.26KB, 725x960) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. People in my family keep accidentally using female pronouns towards me
Particularly my brother and sister-in-law, who I would say I'm closest to.

I really don't know how I feel about it. I was AMAB but now and then I've questioned whether or not I'm cisgendered. I'm openly gay/bi (I mean technically pan but that's hard to explain) around them, so I don't know if they're framing me in their mind as feminine because of that or if there's some innate quality I have that leads them to subconsciously do what they do, or if I've somehow accidentally hinted that sometimes I question my gender identity and they're just testing the waters/trying to be respectful

When they do it, it feels kind of weird but I have mixed emotions about it, in some respects it feels more natural and like I'm somehow being better represented by it but there's also a visceral negative reaction towards it that I can't begin to place. More often than not, this results in kind of a feeling of indifference with little bursts of joy and shame, sometimes at the same time.

I really can't tell where the different emotional reactions towards this are coming from. I think I might be deep in denial because I genuinely don't want to have to through transitioning, not because I'm transphobic I think transpeople are genuinely braver than the troops, but because I'd alienate myself from about half my family (I can hide the fact I'm queer from people who wouldn't like it, I couldn't really hide it if I showed up for Christmas diner presenting as female) and quite a few of my old friends, but I don't really give a fuck about the latter and the only reason I give a fuck about the former is because I'm still obligated to be around them.

I feel pretty ambiguous/indifferent about the whole situation so I can't really get a read on what's true. I will say I feel kind of a sense of loss when I see women and gender non-conforming men doing things that I feel for some reason I'd like to do like dressing a certain way or doing hobbies that are traditionally considered female. I don't know if this is because I want to do these things and wish it was socially acceptable for me to do so or if I want to do these things because I'm legitimately not male.
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Ian Bleckleham - Tue, 11 Jun 2019 13:22:42 EST Q6OmoF5z No.101189 Reply
>>101188
So most gender identity shit is just arbitrary. Everyone conforms to some extent and doesn't conform to some extent because otherwise they're a 2D joke.

Are you trans? I dunno. How do you feel about your body? Would you miss your dick and stuff? Also ask your family why they do it maybe their answers will give you insight.

I think that whatever labels you want to slap on, your genitals should not dictate what you do with your life and time. Society is slowly opening up to the idea so you have to be a bit softly softly about it around a lot of delicate snowflakes but maybe do the things and try them and see how you feel before deciding it makes you not a man.
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Martha Doshson - Tue, 11 Jun 2019 14:27:31 EST 4ycvK41t No.101190 Reply
>>101189
>How do you feel about your body

I hate it

>Would you miss your dick and stuff?

Not in the slightest

Ok, well, I'll take this into consideration BUT I think I'm just gonna keep my head in the sand and then some time down the road when I'm finally able to come to terms with it I'll have no hope of ever being anything other than a hun who's clocked every time by everybody
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Nigel Bunkinford - Wed, 03 Jul 2019 05:18:57 EST NmfB5R9J No.101323 Reply
People fuck up gender pronouns on a constant basis. You don't notice unless your mind is tuned to hyperfocus on irregularities like that. Guess why? Your OP came off as ambiguous but by >>101190 it's pretty clear you're repressed.
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David Pockwater - Tue, 16 Jul 2019 21:09:29 EST 4ycvK41t No.101340 Reply
ok well idk if my id will be the same i don't remember where i made this post but i've decided to transition and actually be who I really am, thanks for your help everyone

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