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Wanting sex outside the relationship

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- Fri, 03 Dec 2021 17:38:36 EST HD/YL5pE No.104419
File: 1638571116813.jpg -(63619B / 62.13KB, 300x278) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Wanting sex outside the relationship
I think it's accepted that most people (especially men) like the idea of sleeping with people outside their relationship but don't for various legitimate reasons.

I'm in a long term relationship and have experienced no decrease in desire for other women. I hear different perspectives: it will simmer down; you learn to live with it; it's a need that deserves an outlet. What does /SD/ think?

Also, how can non-exclusivity be approached in a loving way? We've had some unhappy conversations about it in the past. Is it worth discussing with your partner even if they probably won't go for it?
>>
Beatrice Savingmatch - Wed, 08 Dec 2021 14:22:09 EST Y6haFHFQ No.104428 Reply
>>104419
I don't believe "non-exclusivity" has a place in the ideal loving relationship.
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Phineas Dubblewill - Thu, 16 Dec 2021 12:41:13 EST M+GLameJ No.104442 Reply
>>104419
>Also, how can non-exclusivity be approached in a loving way?
Here's how it can be approached in a loving way: it can be approached ONCE, and if/when the partner says "I don't want to do that", you don't bring it up again.
Here's how you get in a non-monogamous relationship, correctly: you start out that way. You don't pretend to be okay with monogamy and then spring shit on someone after they've given years of their life to you.

>We've had some unhappy conversations about it in the past. Is it worth discussing with your partner even if they probably won't go for it?
What tells me you're a selfish asshole is that you're asking "is it worth it" and you're not asking "is it fair to her"?
She said no. In fact, you've had "some unhappy conversations", so she has said no, emphatically, multiple times. She should not have to keep saying no over and over again.

>What does /SD/ think?
A man is true to his word. You can figure out the rest.
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Polly Blundlehodge - Fri, 17 Dec 2021 09:18:05 EST C7ML0qRe No.104448 Reply
>>104442
Seconding.

Polyamory and open relationships are a healthy, great relationship model for many people, and some people (who are NOT especially men) are just constituionally poly and could not be happy otherwise. Original post is like one giant red flag made of a thousand smaller red flags, though.

OP, if this is truly important and dealbreaky to you, which is fine, you should break up with your sad girlfriend and date/fuck people who are on board with polyamory already. Chance of actual success when poly is an ultimatum or a compromise is not great.

The future you are looking at after your partner begrudgingly or anxiously gives in on this is a relationship that is like rolling through a briar patch for her, you both, or you both AND whoever gets involved with you, followed by an inevitable shitstorm of a breakup when she can no longer tolerate it, then her being emotionally scarred by feeling like she just got bullied into letting you cheat on her (and/or into miserably cheating on you) for months.
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George Crugglecocke - Tue, 10 May 2022 11:00:23 EST cc0XucBe No.104853 Reply
>>104419
just cheat and dont get caught, get a second phone, go on walks with the dog to talk on said second phone. make a routine like gym in the evenings to go on dates. turn location on and leave phone in gym locker while you use your second phone... nothing on social media ever.. yes you will have to wear condoms to not get STD's.

been cheating on my gf for the past 5 years. i get in a better mood and love her better when i come back from a good fuck...
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Augustus Gidgehood - Tue, 10 May 2022 16:07:45 EST J9A/Gpyx No.104855 Reply
>>104853
Shes cheating on you too
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