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Sorry for the late reply,
>>my thoughts are very dullWell the whole point is not to focus on less and less and duller and duller thoughts -- its to shut down the faculty that continually generates new thoughts. You shouldn't feel bored, and if you do, you're not doing it correctly. You should feel absolutely empty. When you say you can reach 20 breaths, is that pranayama cycles or normal breaths?
>does this look right for notesIts pretty good, although I would include details on your state of mind and emotional condition, as well as relevant circumstances in your life. When you're in the thick of things you might not be able to see, but looking back over your data you might notice 'hey, this demon (or whatever) mostly only bothered me when xyz was going on. Maybe it was actually a manifestation of that' etc.
>>manifest its personality on to your self so you become this demonNo, see this is a subtle difference that Jung messes up because, while a student of occult philosophy, he was at best a dilettante occultist himself. If you (as in your egoic locus, your center of self) become the demon, then you will be chained to madness. Demons exist below us in the chain of being in magickal theory, so doing so essentially is de-evolving yourself. You are supposed to assume the identity of gods and higher beings only, because they will elevate your state of consciousness to a higher level.
(Now, some entities traditionally called 'Demons' like the Princes of Hell etcs might be more traditionally thought of as 'fallen angels' or gods in their own right, but this is technical. If by demons you mean things like the Goetic demons, the worst thing you can do is try to become them in your ego. Rather, demons in this sense are like root level command codes for your subconscious and id, the lower parts of your psyche. It's like deliberately telling a part of your brain to go on autopilot and act autonomously, rather than giving your entire identity over to a subconscious impulse.)
>>If that's what it is I want to do it as I do want to make big changes in my self.This is the right idea and this is the main focus of magic. For this, a good practice is just assumption of god forms. Remember, demons stay in the triangle, magickian stays in the circle, then the god will enter the temple. Let the demon enter the circle (i.e. let yourself become the demon) and you are doomed.
>>When should I go through this ? [liber kkk]Most people read it early, but I think of it as kind of advanced stuff that is easy to misunderstand. Use your own judgement on that one.
>>Suggest two more of you couldWell still mostly in the genre of chaos magick, you could go to the source in the form of A.O. Spare's work. It's very hard to understand, and doesn't really function as a guide book, but more as an example of the work of a very advanced adept. Also, idk if you're already been down the Prometheus Rising hole but if not, that's an obvious next step. What other branches of magick beyond chaos are you especially interested in?
>>action planThe best thing to do is to not put too much weight on a young back. Don't bite off more than you can chew and get discouraged. Build habits, with the habitualness more important than the extent of the habit. Essentially treat the whole of your magickal career like one Great Working: you determine what goals you want as your end result, you consider the powers, elements, entities, and correspondence most appropriate for that path, and then implement it through research, design, and then action. Naturally as you progress your ideas will change; this is part of the system. A lot of people use systems called Pathworkings to kind of put a big-picture scale on their magickal work, and I think it's a great system for that.
As long as you remember the only arbiter of your true path is you, you should be in good shape. Keep it up!
Crowley was probably more intellectually gifted than any occultist that ever lived except perhaps Samael Aun Weor. He was also certainly insane, but it makes no sense to call him an idiot -- except perhaps in the sense of a 'cosmic fool' ala the Atu.
And if that shit you're bringing up in here is the O.N.A. bullshit I think it is, I'm pretty sure OP is not in magick to get literally murdered by a bunch of fucking psycho edgelords.