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i think my house has a demon in it and its fucking annoying

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- Mon, 17 Jun 2019 04:39:21 EST BMX6hAQk No.75544
File: 1560760761582.jpg -(156996B / 153.32KB, 600x402) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. i think my house has a demon in it and its fucking annoying
Few nights ago my 2yo nephew woke up at 3 something scared as shit, talking about a bad red man standing over his bed. Still talks about it and seems to not be fucking around. Since then shits been falling off shelves in rooms no one is in and hes been waking up at 2-4 every other night and walking around the house talking to the cat? the demon? Just now i caught him doing it(its 230am) and brought him back to bed, grabbed my camera and went to get some water in the kitchen. All our fucking cabinets are open, including a lot my nephew cant reach, some shits knocked over and the kitchens a kind of a fucking mess. i took a picture with the flash on and it doesnt seem to show anything.

Can i just tell it to fuck off? Be gone, youre unwelcome or something?

I live in my brothers place on an army base. theres a patched bullet hole on the ceiling of the bathroom and my neighbors car has a pentagram sticker.
>>
Esther Dibblesodging - Mon, 17 Jun 2019 04:45:09 EST E+xhxU97 No.75545 Reply
>>75544
Just be too obnoxious for it to possibly want to stay. Blast nyaancat and meatspin vigorously in any direction you sense it's presence. If you have any props you enjoy using to annoy people, use them too.
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Basil Suffingwell - Mon, 17 Jun 2019 04:55:22 EST BMX6hAQk No.75546 Reply
>>75545
I was thinking earlier today, what if some tweaker sees a haunt and they throw it on the floor and start buttfucking it aggressively? Do you think it would scare it off for good or like, attach itself to that person somehow?
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Charles Clunningset - Mon, 17 Jun 2019 16:16:30 EST tzhOKIs1 No.75549 Reply
1560802590521.jpg -(34761B / 33.95KB, 304x304) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
Well, OP. You've brought us a real 50/50 here.

Either you're completely bullshitting for kicks, in which case good job writing one of the most cliché and overdone horror movie plots. Get some new material. Boo. (That's not a ghost boo, but a jeer.)

Or you're not bullshitting in which case we want proper fucking evidence. Failure to deliver will just result in a few random strangers wishing the 'bad red man' gets your shit fucked six ways from Hell.
>>
Rebecca Blatherlock - Thu, 20 Jun 2019 13:44:22 EST tzhOKIs1 No.75559 Reply
>>75557
They're legally dead and not exactly human any more, so no. It's like necrophilia with a few extra steps and either a priest assisted by a choir boy or the Ghostbusters have to get involved.
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Albert Givingfuck - Thu, 11 Jul 2019 01:19:49 EST 8s+BJE86 No.75633 Reply
1562822389628.jpg -(14005B / 13.68KB, 575x339) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
try to get more details it couldve been the "hat man". who the fuck is he no knows. most people think it's a type of poltergeist. doesnt say much but he just stares at people sleeping usually at the foot of the bed. whoever he is people all across the world have seen him and has been around for forever.
or one or both of you is lying
but the kitchen thing is very poltergeisty
>>
Priscilla Maffingsutch - Sat, 13 Jul 2019 14:20:51 EST fHw2FrdQ No.75641 Reply
>>75633
Yall motherfukers see a hat all I see if the sillouhette of a horned figure. Except the horns arent facing up instead they face horizontally.

Mfw you been visited by the devil but all he does is stare creepily.
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Molly Durrybanks - Sun, 14 Jul 2019 06:38:04 EST tzhOKIs1 No.75642 Reply
>>75641
Devil's silently judging your horrible life choices and taste in movies.
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Jenny Billingwell - Sun, 14 Jul 2019 11:57:20 EST VnkShIWJ No.75643 Reply
>>75642

I want to jack off but I can't because I am drunk I won't be able to cum Ill just hurt myself trying :(
>>
Ebenezer Chebberhood - Mon, 15 Jul 2019 07:29:59 EST cokTfzJs No.75644 Reply
>>75643
Maybe the devil will appear to you and silently jerk you off from the shadows.
>>
Ian Dibberman - Tue, 16 Jul 2019 13:43:42 EST tzhOKIs1 No.75648 Reply
>>75643
>>75644
Lucifer's split serpent tongue writhing all over his drunk flaccid dick, while succubus hussies finger themselves in the background to heavy metal music and shooting flames from out of nowhere.
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Dregs - Thu, 25 Jul 2019 18:08:08 EST FxPv5Nmp No.75710 Reply
>>75633
This. I've seen hat man. He was a dark shade of red. He walked away when he noticed I woke up. Spooky, but harmless.

>>75544
You'd be surprised where a sleepwalking kid can reach. Or your house may not be level. It's likely a combination of both. The red man is probably harmless. If he appears again, I'd be more concerned about it but honestly this is like a 2/10 haunting.
>>
Simon Tootcocke - Tue, 27 Aug 2019 14:09:33 EST 3zJc0aLy No.75857 Reply
The only safe way to deal with paranormal problems is through the authority of Jesus. You can pray yourself, or seek help from religious relatives or your nearest church. The better your relationship with Jesus, the better chance you have of dealing with the problem yourself.
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Cornelius Chorrywetch - Thu, 29 Aug 2019 03:54:45 EST cokTfzJs No.75865 Reply
Jesus can't bust ghosts. Call Bill Murray.
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Samuel Gullerned - Sat, 31 Aug 2019 13:48:39 EST xq3k7T9b No.75877 Reply
>>75544

get urself some rice in each corner a de house and draw a line infront door fina stop the bad spirit enterin your home.Make sure ya sure uncle ben rice for dis ritual
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Cedric Finningworth - Sun, 01 Sep 2019 22:28:29 EST 1f06n2MY No.75884 Reply
>>75877
That just attracts rodents... which are responsible for half the annoying shit that is attributed to hauntings in the first place.
>>
Hannah Drallerhood - Mon, 02 Sep 2019 04:52:22 EST xq3k7T9b No.75887 Reply
>>75884

I was just playing around boi. Obviously uncle bens rice is not needed for that ritual to work, you could use any rice.
>>
Ebenezer Blackshit - Fri, 27 Sep 2019 10:45:03 EST vrDlqTNU No.76054 Reply
Very true the thing in front of you is very likely a demon
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Hedda Murdville - Fri, 27 Sep 2019 11:59:37 EST BX8AhnrR No.76056 Reply
1569599977407.jpg -(66686B / 65.12KB, 539x960) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
>>75887
If OP uses Uncle Ben's rice the bad spirit will learn the value of reponsibility and become an angel instead
>>
Jarvis Tootstock - Fri, 27 Sep 2019 13:03:58 EST tzhOKIs1 No.76058 Reply
>>76057
No that's the character background of Spider-Man.
>>
Edwin Turveyridge - Thu, 03 Oct 2019 06:24:49 EST ssBPWYIv No.76090 Reply
Cleanse and banish your house by praying to your guardian angels or God Himself, or imagine marking the entirety of the inside and outside of your house with whatever holy symbol you prefer, whichever has the most power in your heart or bloodline. You could also look up the Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram, or LBRP.
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Shitting Blackworth - Thu, 03 Oct 2019 20:22:29 EST 1RSU67H9 No.76091 Reply
Ouija board, OP
talk to this motherfucker
say it aint welcome
and then say GOODBYE fucking immediately
>>
Angus Banderkune - Fri, 04 Oct 2019 14:40:21 EST cokTfzJs No.76094 Reply
Then burn the board so it can't call you incessantly trying to get back together. Fucking needy bitches.
>>
Caroline Pablinghood - Sun, 06 Oct 2019 04:45:54 EST tzhOKIs1 No.76098 Reply
>>76095
This, along with pissing on all your furniture to mark them. Ghosts don't haunt marked furniture, they're like cats.
>>
Frederick Gupperston - Fri, 11 Oct 2019 01:17:21 EST 1ziRTa7Z No.76109 Reply
Dude, theres someone living in the house that you dont know about. Ive seen this on tv
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Thomas Crirringbat - Mon, 28 Oct 2019 16:23:50 EST cokTfzJs No.76145 Reply
>>75544
Burn sage.
Burn incense.
Burn your bra and drafter card.
Burn a hydrogen filled zeppelin.
Burn and melt steel beams.
Charles Montgomery Burns.
Burn baby burn. Disco infernooo
>>
Cyril Grimman - Wed, 30 Oct 2019 05:27:21 EST cokTfzJs No.76156 Reply
>>76155
I agree. Giving Hasbro games money for something that can't even really be considered a game is just plain stupidity.
>>
Betsy Pickforth - Thu, 31 Oct 2019 18:28:08 EST cokTfzJs No.76164 Reply
>>76163
The answer was right in front of us the whole time! And these idiots are here recommending burning sage and incense.
>>
David Domblesone - Sat, 02 Nov 2019 07:08:57 EST tzhOKIs1 No.76169 Reply
1572692937167.jpg -(550310B / 537.41KB, 3264x1275) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
>>76164
Imagine being a ghost/spirit/demon and some fat Wiccan bitch is burning sage. That stuff smells disgusting, I'd toss a cupboard or slam with doors too. Stupid fat bitch.

Someone turning their living room into a dank hotbox? I'd chill with them to music and Final Destination any cop or neighbour that tries to stop my afterlife-y fun.
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