| >> | >>294654
>be 17
>meet girl of my dreams in hallway and ask her to dance
>take it slow but eventually having regular sex and constant reinforcement of bond
>college time yay, smoke weed
>try acid, try morphine
>we're huge stoners, everyone is jealous of our bond
>she lives with her folks, I live with mine
>every night she comes over and we watch movies and fuck and cuddle
>doing every drug we can find but never more than a few days a week except for weed
>parents mind their own fucking business
>graduation yaaay
>I get decent starter job in my favorite area, pharmaceuticals, she gets into grad school.
>finally get our own place supporting my girl doing drugs life is never better
>she gets advanced degree in medical field, we move across the country, seeking that small town life dream we've had since the hallway
>get married life will never be better
>town is literally like some kind of fucking epicenter of chaos
>literally cartel hubs, serial killers, desert-dwelling meth witch-hobos
>oh this is bad, ignore all red flags for years, loose touch with all old friends
>stressed and fearing for our lives after neighbor gets murdered
>I saw it go down, they saw my face
>wild flight back home, paranoia starts to creep in
>maybe old friends will help, scare old suburb friends with what sounds like movie-bullshit, their lives are so bland and easy they think I'm making shit up or they think it sounds cool, fucking idiots
>no friends
>paranoia intensifies
>love of my life watches as I fail to find new employer, sit alone all day with paranoia and alcohol, terrify her with paranoid ramblings
>manifest fully manic symptoms at 28, mania induces psychosis
>you're bipolar, no you're schizoaffective, no you have ptsd, no you're bipolar lol, fucking mental health system
>so many bad pills, nothing helps
>wife so strong, wife taking care of bills and treatments
>utterly emasculated, never leave house
>we get stronger, accept new reality
>wife contracts cancer, minor operations, I can't work but I can take care of her
>cancer in remission
>psychosis in remission
>this is just 2016-21
>every night we watch movies together and smoke to the days of our innocence
>every night after she goes to bed I tear up thinking of those glorious days in my old bedroom.
>take adderall all day and lurk, wife always just happy to come home to me from icu
>maybe if heaven is real it will be us in that old bedroom with some old school mids and a good movie |
