Traditional Games

• Slipped and crashed on a wooden bed frame.
  
• Knocked a tray over and it broke on the concrete floor.
  
• Dropped a ladle of soup at the dining table with the king.
  

>New game
>Be a Human Monk trying to get information about a haunted house on the edge of town.
>Meet team.
>Drunken Tortle Storm Cleric who's never played D&D before.
>Barbarian who decides it'd be a good idea to spend all his money on booze and whores.
>Warlock Tiefling who's insulted to have to interact with other species.
>great.jpg
>Barbarian knocks out server, Tortle drinks until the GM forces him to make a CON check, Tiefling insults every human she encounters (but at least she tries to forward the adventure)
>After the Tortle and Barbarian bond over hookers and alcohol getting us kicked out of the bar, we make it to the house.
>Barbarian barges in despite the group reasoning with him to use the back entrance. Ends up getting attacked by spider swarms, triggering traps and ambushes up the ass, and we come to his rescue.
>Meanwhile, Monk does Monk stuff, making good rolls, roleplaying, kicking ass and taking names.
>Head to the basement.
>Wine cellar, Teenage Mutant Drunken Turtle charges in.
>Month old dead body in the middle of it all, Barbarian wants all the armour and weapons!
>Maggots attack.
>uhoh.jpg
>Smash the fuck out of the maggots asap, land some great hits.
>First hit against me all night
>Crit
>The maggots bore into my arm, and I'm unconscious.
>yougottabeshittingme.jpg
>Everyone fails their nature/medicine checks.
>Dead
>"It's okay! We can take him to a temple to revive him!"
>Maggots crawl out of my mouth
>Barbarian panics and attacks them.
>Crit
>"You cleave his skull apart at the jaw."
>mfw the dice are a cruel bitch..