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What Happened at Your Last Session?

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- Wed, 11 Sep 2019 20:44:22 EST NiiSKm5U No.29306
File: 1568249062063.gif -(52016B / 50.80KB, 220x261) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. What Happened at Your Last Session?
>New game
>Be a Human Monk trying to get information about a haunted house on the edge of town.
>Meet team.
>Drunken Tortle Storm Cleric who's never played D&D before.
>Barbarian who decides it'd be a good idea to spend all his money on booze and whores.
>Warlock Tiefling who's insulted to have to interact with other species.
>great.jpg
>Barbarian knocks out server, Tortle drinks until the GM forces him to make a CON check, Tiefling insults every human she encounters (but at least she tries to forward the adventure)
>After the Tortle and Barbarian bond over hookers and alcohol getting us kicked out of the bar, we make it to the house.
>Barbarian barges in despite the group reasoning with him to use the back entrance. Ends up getting attacked by spider swarms, triggering traps and ambushes up the ass, and we come to his rescue.
>Meanwhile, Monk does Monk stuff, making good rolls, roleplaying, kicking ass and taking names.
>Head to the basement.
>Wine cellar, Teenage Mutant Drunken Turtle charges in.
>Month old dead body in the middle of it all, Barbarian wants all the armour and weapons!
>Maggots attack.
>uhoh.jpg
>Smash the fuck out of the maggots asap, land some great hits.
>First hit against me all night
>Crit
>The maggots bore into my arm, and I'm unconscious.
>yougottabeshittingme.jpg
>Everyone fails their nature/medicine checks.
>Dead
>"It's okay! We can take him to a temple to revive him!"
>Maggots crawl out of my mouth
>Barbarian panics and attacks them.
>Crit
>"You cleave his skull apart at the jaw."
>mfw the dice are a cruel bitch..

They then proceeded to smash my severed head apart to ensure there were no more rotgrub maggots inside. I knew what was going on with the maggots, but the DM didn't want me to metagame.

Username related, the name of the new wizard I'm rolling to annoy the fuck out of everyone with next session.
>>
Jack Mummerridge - Thu, 12 Sep 2019 12:15:17 EST kHFm3y/Z No.29307 Reply
Your group sounds like fun, your DM sounds like a cuntboi.
>>
Albert Lightshaw - Sat, 14 Sep 2019 09:13:45 EST 6hiCPABq No.29309 Reply
>>29307
Yeah generally a crit doesn't mean a bad happens.

Though whenever I play someone with healing word I try to keep one spell slot in my back pocket for that shit. Course your cleric doesn't know that because he's new
>>
Rebecca Cuddleville - Sun, 15 Sep 2019 23:10:58 EST T9Wqp8s+ No.29310 Reply
>>29309
a crit usually means the thing the person was trying to do was done very well and that person was trying to attack the source of the maggots which was op's face
>>
Rebecca Cuddleville - Sun, 15 Sep 2019 23:10:58 EST T9Wqp8s+ No.29311 Reply
>>29309
a crit usually means the thing the person was trying to do was done very well and that person was trying to attack the source of the maggots which was op's face
>>
Eliza Pickbanks - Mon, 16 Sep 2019 01:28:38 EST kHFm3y/Z No.29312 Reply
>>29311
So would you say it was a spiteful dick move from the barbarian or stupidity of the DM.
>>
Rebecca Cuddleville - Mon, 16 Sep 2019 18:05:57 EST T9Wqp8s+ No.29314 Reply
>>29312
neither, I think the barbarians lack of experience caused him to panic and the DM just rolled with it
>>
Albert Soddlestock - Tue, 17 Sep 2019 03:00:45 EST /szKecfe No.29315 Reply
>>29311
Except if you're trying to attack the maggots and just the maggots, and you do so exceptionally well, then the barbarian would have squished the maggots and left the face completely unharmed.
>>
Albert Hashlock - Tue, 17 Sep 2019 07:46:32 EST T9Wqp8s+ No.29316 Reply
>>29315
he swung at the OP's characters head to attack the source of the maggots, when you roll a crit on a stupid move you carry out that stupidity exceptionally well

the DM was totally in the right imo
>>
Cyril Fullerfoot - Tue, 17 Sep 2019 14:58:22 EST 1WHOjunE No.29318 Reply
>>29316
Depends how cruel the DM is. I'm not a fan of punishing other players for someone's mistakes but it depends on the table. It could also be really funny for the right players at OP hadn't been attached to his player long. This is not down to the dice, it's the DM's interpretation. At the end of the day there's always rule 1. If OP thought "fucking LOL" then I guess he made the right call, if he didn't then the DM fucked up.
>>
Rebecca Hangerstot - Tue, 17 Sep 2019 22:28:20 EST T9Wqp8s+ No.29319 Reply
>>29318
it was day 1 of the campaign, nobody should be extremely attached to their character at that point

but especially since it was a lot of players FIRST EVER GAME, showing them that their are long term in game consequences for them acting like idiots without thinking it over would be a very good learning lesson

maybe if this campaign was 18 levels deep and everyone had years of DnD playing experience it would be a dick move but day 1 with a bunch of new players shit is totally cool with me

man a lot of y'all in this thread seem way to srs bout dnd
>>
Doris Pindleford - Wed, 18 Sep 2019 13:59:07 EST kHFm3y/Z No.29321 Reply
>>29319
>man a lot of y'all in this thread seem way to srs bout dnd
Considering how many of my attempts at enjoying the game got ruined by sperglords and brainless murderhobos, yeah. Maybe. Game's a great exercise to find the sociopaths in a group, though.
>>
Betsy Sobberstone - Wed, 18 Sep 2019 20:58:38 EST T9Wqp8s+ No.29324 Reply
>>29321
if your game is serious business RP rulebookisdivinelaw then it is already ruined

it's a game, it's supposed to be a fun way to collectively tell an entertaining story with your friends
>>
Oliver Hittingkane - Thu, 19 Sep 2019 12:16:27 EST kHFm3y/Z No.29325 Reply
>>29324
>it's supposed to be a fun way to collectively tell an entertaining story with your friends
Which is completely impossible when your players are retards who can't agree on a single thing and fight more amongst each other than actually focusing on the game.
>>
Jarvis Gurringway - Thu, 19 Sep 2019 13:28:48 EST 1WHOjunE No.29326 Reply
>>29324
You're right about it being a good way to teach players not to be retards though actually. I didn't think about it that way. I'm not used to people being that dumb to be honest. I mean the couple of times they've been close to that stupid they've not forgotten the results.

Though if someone plays a tiefling and says "I just want to be a devil person" fine, if they want racism and then go around insulting everyone as the pariah people though... surely that'd have consequences too.

Most people like something somewhere between a farce that derails within minutes and epic fantasy like a tabletop version of baldur's gate but there where point varies though, just because someone sits slightly more "seriousward" than you it doesn't mean they're an anal rules stickler (that's my job I try not to take it to the table too much). The rules are useful as framework to give the story cohesion and tension, they are flexible. The unwritten rules like tone (seriousness, how coddling or vindictive the DM is, what themes are and aren't okay) are the most important and they're not the ones in the book anyway.

Now that varies from table to table. But at the end of the day if I spend ages negotiating schedules I think of the 6 of us 3 work 9 to 5s but that's about to drop to 2 in 5 because life to spend quality time with a group of my friends of course I'm going to take it seriously.
>>
Eugene Darthood - Tue, 22 Oct 2019 13:28:28 EST xUG088FC No.29379 Reply
>>29377
I had my players break a loop someone else got stuck in. They ended up wrecking a pit fiend at level 15.

Now I just chuck crazy encounters at them. My imagination and ability to manage the enemies becomes my limit and it just challenges them. You have so many tools. My players have an understanding that if they use bullshit so will I so it stops the arms race. And it's the most fun I've had as a DM in ages. I go nuts and let my creativity be the main limit. I recently declined to throw a kraken at them not because they can't handle it (they probably can) but because it'd need worthy minions and I think a kraken priest and 2 elementals and 20 cultists thrown in might have been too much. They're 17 and the wizard has meteor swarm so that's probably not true now.

Anyway last session I had them do a sort of gameshow fight sequence for a ring of wishes with a snarky sphinx "host". They created a paradox with the pheonix egg (the myrmodon with hold monster/maelstrom made them laugh too), fought waves of acid immune creatures (including yugiloth and a black dragon which made the paladin shit himself a bit) as acid dispensers burst out the ground, fought a huge warm of blood suckers (but no vampires as they expected) and a horde of spectres, wraiths and spirit trolls (can all go through walls) in a maze. Except the maze was an illusion anyway and they could have also just gone through the walls.

Next: Ancient dragon, massive research facility. I've written most of it but I need to work out how the engineering wing will work. The engineers have been tasked with creating tools that can be distributed in large quantity to some of their soldiers to help combat the main threat to the enemy army the party. Not all the inventions will be complete or viable for copying as that'd be game breaking but these guys are going to be set up to take the edge off their strengths. Having to balance narrative world breaking repurcussions "this is something grunts could use" and challenge is going to be hard. Working on it.

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