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- Sat, 20 Apr 2019 08:28:53 EST a5LhQjKw No.89913
File: 1555763333336.jpg -(19390B / 18.94KB, 192x215) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. LONG MAN
A few months back me and my girlfriend were coming down off acid. We kept getting ads for things we were talking about throughout the day so we figured itd be funny to list off a bunch of nsa monitoring keywords and say them into my phones mic. Just dumb bullshit. But the crazy thing was that the very next time i went to search for something (youtube) this suggestion came up after only putting in “you”

“You’re just sociopaths”


So after that, going along with the half joking idea that i had a new friend keeping an eye on me for a bit i googled “so what should i call you.” Next search there was a suggestion for ‘long man.’ Now this could have easily been a legitimate search but im using it to coin ‘him.’ Long man is the man who pokes his head in when your super happy internet fun time activity is getting a little strange. But its just his job. Long mans a dirty son of a bitch but hes only there cause he gets paid. Hes got a sense of humor and theres no avoiding your long man. Hes gonna be with you unless you go off the grid so you might as well say hey to him every now and then, have a dystopic frenemy relationship.
Bruno - Sat, 20 Apr 2019 23:52:07 EST eZJ0CSHd No.89937 Reply
Just another face of the AI that took over the earth

You wonder how it’s so fast

It’s a godlike computer overseeing everything big and small

I bet he works for the government

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- Sat, 20 Apr 2019 14:47:36 EST nmIYTpeg No.89922
File: 1555786056886.jpg -(6742B / 6.58KB, 150x150) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. I bet he works for the government
I have the funniest story about a single mentally ill person outsmarting the best and brightest they've got working in surveillance...

its a shame no one would believe it, because it's super embarrassing for america

Trump and 9/11

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- Sat, 13 Apr 2019 13:47:42 EST diQjEdUP No.89855
File: 1555177662072.jpg -(18147B / 17.72KB, 600x450) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Trump and 9/11

He probably knew about 9/11 before becoming president, what with being close friends with 9/11 perpetrators Rudy Giuliani and Larry Silverstein. If not, he obviously knows now.
1 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
Oliver Funningbad - Tue, 16 Apr 2019 12:23:15 EST diQjEdUP No.89876 Reply

I hate Facebook too, but its an amazing video, and not available on youtube. Probably because it got took down.
Nicholas Blytheworth - Wed, 17 Apr 2019 15:19:25 EST diQjEdUP No.89896 Reply

Honestly I recommend you get a fake facebook account just to view this guys page. You can also message him with any questions and he replies quickly. He knows a great deal. Its like being friends with Immortal Technique or something.
Rebecca Sullywater - Thu, 18 Apr 2019 03:10:57 EST AEj4pdPX No.89903 Reply
You're a real asshole jesus fucking christ dude. Get off your high fucking horse, who died and made you king conspiracy?

The 58th flavor of Hienz ketchup

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- Wed, 20 Dec 2017 00:07:58 EST hCfoVY4O No.87026
File: 1513746478547.jpg -(49688B / 48.52KB, 650x433) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. The 58th flavor of Hienz ketchup
Lore holds it that knights formed an ancient order to protect it.
Columbus sailed to the New World to hide it.
The founding fathers believed it was to powerful for any one man.
now a wacky step dad try's to bond with his long lost step son on a fishing trip, all laughs aboard for "Ketchup ya Later" starting Ice Cube and the fat kid from 2 and a half men, this summer the laughs have never been cheaper!
Martin Fonderchat - Tue, 16 Apr 2019 23:53:53 EST K4kjRE60 No.89886 Reply
I don't think Hienz existed in the 1400's.

Ze Jenkum!!!

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- Tue, 24 Apr 2018 13:03:23 EST +TBCD8TQ No.87862
File: 1524589403187.jpg -(58053B / 56.69KB, 220x316) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Ze Jenkum!!!
Has finally been exposed to the wider world!

Cedric, whose recreational drugs run out while his tour bus is being repaired in the Mormon-heavy Provo. After a roadie suggests jenkem, Cedric goes on a bender, culminating in his death by asphyxiation while inhaling methane from a port-a-john
5 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
Nathaniel Blatherlock - Fri, 27 Apr 2018 06:59:13 EST ZcKMNawS No.87876 Reply


I could use a rock as a hammer if i use a rock as a hammer does that make the rock a hammer? what i use a rock to hammer a rock to make a hammer?
George Serryfock - Fri, 27 Apr 2018 09:52:31 EST DYft86BT No.87877 Reply
Naw! I'm looking for a tap and dye and some WD-40
Jenny Clayworth - Wed, 02 May 2018 11:47:53 EST MWkhESsF No.87889 Reply
I always return muh tapes, I read at a fourth grade level!

Is Outback Steakhouse a Satanic Cult?

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- Mon, 04 Dec 2017 01:10:24 EST 7Ra+eU96 No.86918
File: 1512367824453.png -(81205B / 79.30KB, 750x340) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Is Outback Steakhouse a Satanic Cult?
I can't even... this shit is crazy
why will people believe anything?
3 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
Vajeana Hurtz - Sun, 10 Dec 2017 18:39:17 EST 4bV1+P+X No.86955 Reply
So my blood pressure is not due manstration??? Or Satan???
Yeah I know it rhymes because I'm a certain famous wrestler
Rebecca Gobberville - Mon, 11 Dec 2017 20:16:43 EST UkaR6Pot No.86958 Reply
GTFO of here you fucking shill, no one cares about your shitty Youtube channel.
Hedda Wirringwater - Sun, 07 Apr 2019 06:32:08 EST K4kjRE60 No.89825 Reply
Yep you can.

In fact you can also draw a pentagon using any five non-collinear points as well.

Fucking Monsanto...

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- Sun, 29 Oct 2017 19:49:19 EST AIckUWlj No.86629
File: 1509320959092.jpg -(2972691B / 2.83MB, 4032x3024) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Fucking Monsanto...
6 posts and 1 images omitted. Click View Thread to read.
Alice Pussledale - Mon, 19 Nov 2018 00:18:40 EST K4kjRE60 No.88910 Reply
If it's corn bread, then why is it made with wheat grain instead of corn, huh?
Nell Nanderstone - Sat, 13 Apr 2019 20:58:22 EST eZJ0CSHd No.89857 Reply
Yeah a floozy for affording a half a million dollar house for defending bayer-monsanto and GMO with a dozen sock puppet accounts all over the internet. BYEEEEEE

enemy of fate

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- Wed, 10 Apr 2019 21:58:16 EST nmIYTpeg No.89844
File: 1554947896334.jpg -(89561B / 87.46KB, 960x720) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. enemy of fate
3 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
Bruno - Thu, 11 Apr 2019 17:56:53 EST nmIYTpeg No.89848 Reply
1555019813595.jpg -(97715B / 95.42KB, 720x960) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
My life was risked. My reputation, everything. Even the safety of my niece.

You are incorrect, I have gained knowledge. But it is a burden, and counts as a hollow victory yes.

I did to see if I could. And I succeeded.

Sorry to step on your john cena and tit jokes you amateur
Fucking Fishwater - Fri, 12 Apr 2019 04:16:44 EST gm7yKr+L No.89849 Reply
You talk like a fag and your shits all retarded
Bruno - Sat, 13 Apr 2019 13:42:06 EST eZJ0CSHd No.89853 Reply
I am a fag and frankly living with this shit has rendered me retarded thank you i dont need a reminder

can we talk about the Shockmaster?

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- Tue, 13 Sep 2016 00:31:01 EST E6/2oY+K No.82317
File: 1473741061330.jpg -(42792B / 41.79KB, 1280x720) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. can we talk about the Shockmaster?
Like BEST CASE SCENARIO he would have still gone crashing through a sheet of drywall, AND the two dinky pyrotechnics would have done there thing with him still standing there like an idiot

>this one goes out to you shockmaster in whatever dark dank hole your in now

9 posts and 1 images omitted. Click View Thread to read.

many believe the US government covered it up

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- Thu, 20 Oct 2016 01:12:27 EST ijF6J36K No.83205
File: 1476940347762.jpg -(272093B / 265.72KB, 957x638) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. many believe the US government covered it up
...I'm Bill Curtis
10 posts and 1 images omitted. Click View Thread to read.
Ernest Nirrystock - Thu, 14 Mar 2019 07:53:37 EST atABYghM No.89545 Reply

oh thats where it is, are my pants still in the passenger side, i asked if they were in my best friends ride, but they started hollering at me, they said they had no scrubs, that the scrubs must be in another car. dang, its so weird treating patients without any pants on, but i think they're getting used to it.

some events echo through eternity

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- Sun, 09 Dec 2018 23:21:33 EST z7WwKEGN No.89110
File: 1544415693030.png -(4637B / 4.53KB, 218x104) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. some events echo through eternity
Plot details and storylines[edit]
Taylor family[edit]
The series centers on the Taylor family, which consists of Tim (Tim Allen), his wife Jill (Patricia Richardson) and their three children: the oldest child, Brad (Zachery Ty Bryan), the middle child, Randy (Jonathan Taylor Thomas) and youngest child, Mark (Taran Noah Smith). The Taylors live in suburban Detroit, and have a neighbor named Wilson (Earl Hindman) who is often the go-to guy for solving the Taylors' problems.
Tim is a stereotypical American male, who loves power tools, cars, and sports. In particular, he is an avid fan of local Detroit teams. In numerous instances, Tim wears Lions, Pistons, Red Wings, and Tigers clothing, and many plots revolve around the teams. He is a former salesman for the fictional Binford Tool company, and is very much a cocky, overambitious, accident-prone know-it-all. Witty but flippant, Tim jokes around a lot, even at inappropriate times, much to the dismay of his wife. However, Tim can sometimes be serious when necessary. Jill, Tim's wife, is loving and sophisticated, but not exempt from dumb moves herself. In later seasons she returns to college to study psychology. Family life is boisterous for the Taylors with the two oldest children, Brad and Randy, tormenting the much younger Mark, all while continually testing and pestering each other. Such play happened especially throughout the first three seasons, and was revisited only occasionally until Jonathan Taylor Thomas left at the beginning of the eighth season. During the show's final season, Brad and Mark became much closer due to Randy's absence.
Brad, popular and athletic, was often the moving factor, who engaged before thinking, a tendency which regularly landed him in trouble. Randy, a year younger, was the comedian of the pack, known for his quick-thinking, wisecracks, and smart mouth. He had more common sense than Brad but was not immune to trouble. Mark was somewhat of a mama's boy, though later in the series (in the seventh season) he grew into a teenage outcast who dressed in black clothing. Meanwhile, Brad became interested in cars like his father and took up soccer. Randy joined the school drama club, and later the school newspaper; in the eighth season, he left for Costa Rica.
In early seasons, Wilson was always seen standing on the other side of Tim's backyard fence as the two engaged in conversation, usually with Wilson offering sage advice as Tim grappled with his problems. In later seasons, a running joke developed in which more and more creative means were used to prevent Wilson's face below the eyes from ever being seen by the audience. Also in later seasons, Wilson's full name was revealed to be Wilson W. Wilson, Jr.
Tool Time[edit]
Each episode includes Tim's own Binford-sponsored home improvement show, called Tool Time, a show-within-a-show. In hosting this show, Tim is joined by his friend and mild-mannered assistant Al Borland (Richard Karn), and a "Tool Time girl"—first Lisa (Pamela Anderson) and later Heidi (Debbe Dunning)—whose main duty is to introduce the pair at the beginning of the show with the line "Does everybody know what time it is?". In reply, the audience yells, "TOOL TIME!" The Tool Time girl also assists Tim and Al during the show by bringing them tools.
Although revealed to be an excellent salesman and TV personality, Tim is spectacularly accident prone as a handyman, often causing massive disasters on and off the set, to the consternation of his co-workers and family. Many Tool Time viewers assume that the accidents on the show are done on purpose, to demonstrate the consequences of using tools improperly. Many of Tim's accidents are caused by his devices being used in an unorthodox or overpowered manner, designed to illustrate his mantra "More power!". This popular catchphrase would not be uttered after Home Improvement's seventh season,[6] until Tim's last line in the series finale, which are the last two words ever spoken.
Tool Time was conceived as a parody of the PBS home-improvement show This Old House.[7] Tim and Al are caricatures of the two principal cast members of This Old House, host Bob Vila and master carpenter Norm Abram.[8] Al Borland has a beard and always wears plaid shirts when taping an episode, reflecting Norm Abram's appearance on This Old House.[9] Bob Vila appeared as a guest star on several episodes of Ho…
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this was a bigger twist than M Night could have pulled

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- Sun, 09 Dec 2018 22:51:26 EST z7WwKEGN No.89101
File: 1544413886030.jpg -(18319B / 17.89KB, 257x387) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. this was a bigger twist than M Night could have pulled
Scott Calvin (Tim Allen), a successful toy salesman, prepares to spend Christmas Eve with his son Charlie (Eric Lloyd). Scott convinces Charlie that Santa Claus is real, despite not believing himself. Scott's ex-wife, Laura (Wendy Crewson) and her psychiatrist husband Dr. Neil Miller (Judge Reinhold) both stopped believing in Santa at a young age and feel that Charlie needs to face reality. After Scott reads the The Night Before Christmas to Charlie and tucks him into bed, Santa's sleigh lands on their roof and wakes Charlie. Charlie wakes up Scott, who hears Santa's footsteps on the roof and assumes that it is an intruder.
Rushing outside, Scott startles Santa, causing him to lose his balance and fall off the roof. Scott finds a card in the pocket of Santa's suit that states "If something should happen to me, put on my suit, the Reindeer will know what to do," after which Santa vanishes. Charlie climbs onto the roof via a ladder which had magically appeared, and finds Santa's sleigh and reindeer. Scott follows him into the sleigh, which flies off to continue delivering presents. Persuaded by Charlie, Scott puts on the Santa suit and delivers a few gifts before the reindeer take them to the North Pole. Once they arrive, Bernard (David Krumholtz), the head elf, explains to Scott that because he put on the suit, he is subjected to a legal technicality known as "The Santa Clause", meaning that he has agreed to accept all of Santa's duties and responsibilities, and has been given eleven months to get his affairs in order before reporting back to the North Pole on Thanksgiving. Overwhelmed, Scott changes into pajamas and falls asleep. The next morning, he wakes up in his own bed, causing him to believe that it was all a dream, until Charlie discovers that Scott is still wearing the pajamas from the North Pole. When Charlie proudly tells his class that his father is Santa, Laura, Neil, and the school principal ask Scott, whom they all believe is responsible, to tell Charlie that it was just a dream. Not wanting to break Charlie's heart, Scott instead convinces Charlie to keep their trip to the North Pole to themselves, which Charlie agrees.
Over the course of the following year, strange things begin to happen to Scott. He begins gaining a significant amount of weight, including 45 pounds in a week. His facial hair regrows quickly after shaving and his hair turns stark white. Scott also begins craving milk and cookies. As a result, most of his clothes stop fitting, forcing him to wear sweaters and sweatpants. Scott also acquires the ability to tell whether a child has been "naughty or nice", and children seem to know he is Santa. After an incident in which several children approach Scott to ask for Christmas presents, Laura and Neil believe he is deliberately trying to undermine them and successfully petition a judge to suspend Scott's visitation rights. Devastated and still not convinced he is Santa, Scott goes to Laura and Neil's house on Thanksgiving, where Charlie shows Scott a snow globe that Bernard had given him, finally convincing him that he is Santa. As Scott prepares to leave, Bernard appears and transports him and Charlie to the North Pole.
Laura and Neil believe Scott has kidnapped Charlie and contact the police. At the North Pole, Scott sets out to deliver the gifts with Charlie in tow. However, upon arriving at Laura and Neil's home, Scott is arrested. The elves eventually send a crack team of extraction elves to rescue him. Scott returns to Laura and Neil's house and manages to convince them that he is Santa by giving them presents that they wanted as children but were never given to them, which caused both of them to stop believing in Santa. Laura decides to burn the papers banning Scott's visitation rights and tells him that he can visit anytime. Bernard then appears to tell Charlie that if he shakes his snow globe at any time, his father will appear, before Bernard vanishes into thin air. After a public departure, Scott travels the world to finish delivering gifts. Using the snow globe, Charlie summons Scott back home. Laura agrees to let Charlie go with Scott to finish delivering the gifts, and the two head off into the night.


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