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The "Larry Miller" "Hair System" "for Men"

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- Thu, 10 Nov 2016 00:45:24 EST Z96kHSza No.83461
File: 1478756724265.png -(15100B / 14.75KB, 728x90) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. The "Larry Miller" "Hair System" "for Men"
The actor and comedian Larry Miller shows up at Carl's doorstep to try and sell him a toupee, the "Larry Miller Hair System". The toupee is made of painted and corrugated sheet metal, there's only one in existence, it's been returned at least once, and God told him to sell it to Carl so Larry can feed his "all-consuming" gambling addiction. (Carl: "Hm...so what's the catch?")

As part of the pitch, Larry uses a simulation machine in the back of his van to show Carl what his life would be like if he had hair. The simulation version of Carl is much slimmer, less slovenly and has a full head of hair, as well as a normal (if rather boring and saccharine) life with a wife, two kids and a stable job. Real-life Carl is initially confused by this ("I don't see any hookers...is it because I scared them away?"), but quickly becomes disgusted with his simulation self's healthy, polite and non-confrontational attitude, which he describes as "selling out".

Soon, Larry realizes they're close to AC Beach, he can "smell the cards", and runs off in a frenzy to go gamble, leaving Carl alone with the simulation machine. Carl thus sets about manipulating the life of the "other Carl", who can constantly hear the real Carl's voice but can't see him.

He starts demanding that his simulation self "grow a sack," which basically consists of doing all the things he would do, including staying up all night drinking beer, ordering a penis pump, sexually insulting his wife and turning a minor confrontation over the fax machine at work into physical violence.

Soon, simulation Carl is fired, and his wife leaves him and takes his kids. However, he still has one dignity, his hair, which the real Carl ensures that he gets rid of as well. Now jobless, wifeless, and hairless (just like the real Carl), the simulation version of Carl kills himself.

Later on Carl agrees to the hair system, which is attached to his skull with POP rivets like a fender from a body shop.
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Phoebe Brookcocke - Mon, 14 Nov 2016 10:53:51 EST gpMWuo5Y No.83505 Reply
>>83461They're trying to blow up my soul. Honeytrap and booty calls
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Edwin Bundlebidging - Mon, 14 Nov 2016 12:42:52 EST nDaxfrNB No.83507 Reply
1479145372944.jpg -(6455B / 6.30KB, 149x200) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
>>83505
The fuck you talking about? Are you Larry Miller or "Carl"? Fuck off newfag. You can't even say" honey pot" right... SMDH TBQH FAM
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Lillian Duzzlewill - Mon, 14 Nov 2016 18:58:24 EST vs9TAUjW No.83513 Reply
>>83507
in this post-fact age you can be larry miller, you can only simulate being larry miller in this simulator... THE VAN!!!
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Charlotte Clungerbene - Mon, 14 Nov 2016 22:52:09 EST WrBq3Tee No.83521 Reply
You think you're cool rippin off Aqua Teen Hunger Force motherfucker???
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Charlotte Clungerbene - Mon, 14 Nov 2016 22:53:52 EST WrBq3Tee No.83522 Reply
1479182032253.jpg -(33974B / 33.18KB, 456x400) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
DICKS EVERYWHERE
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Shitting Billywidging - Wed, 16 Nov 2016 15:33:06 EST nDaxfrNB No.83543 Reply
>>83521
I don't know what you're talking about this actually happened to him This is real this thread is real they're trying to make him not exist which is illegwell they ritual lyrics abuse him to make him exist for being normie im contacting the NASA to read his emails.
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Nathaniel Dartford - Sun, 02 Apr 2017 21:25:27 EST 9lk1yeaV No.85033 Reply
>>83543
Hoy OYP!! I iz a poleish plvmber I herr to fikps yov vateeor hiter?!
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Cedric Fuvinghall - Fri, 07 Apr 2017 10:06:53 EST TE2CYKvd No.85082 Reply
>>85033
Et vill vurkin, et vill vurkin! Do'hnt vurrie abowt et, do'hnt vurrie abowt ennytheen!

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