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The worst loz character

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- Sat, 18 Jan 2020 04:44:52 EST 4WKVAouL No.748404
File: 1579340692829.jpg -(7910B / 7.72KB, 225x224) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. The worst loz character
Telma is the worst man. She works people out of video games like finding a white turd in the toilet like holy shit.
>>
pikachu bukkake - Sat, 18 Jan 2020 06:27:44 EST ypQh/jk+ No.748407 Reply
but she's a sassy black hylian, I like her style
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Machine Gun Willy - Sat, 18 Jan 2020 11:36:44 EST rrer127r No.748412 Reply
>>748404
All of them. LoZ is a shit tier franchise marred with pointless time wasting and dillydallying Seriously, every interaction gets filled up with unnecessary animations and sound effects that make a 1-second interaction take 10. It's a 30 minutes of actual substance spread out over a 30 hour game, it's just the fucking worst. I can't believe people actually give Red Dead Redemption shit for flow-breaking animations but give LoZ a free pass. The only good one was A Link to the Past because it didn't cram this patronizing bullshit down your throat. Don't even get me started on Link's Awakening remake with it's twee faux-tilt shift DoF that looks like vasaline squirted out of a prostitute's ass. I just don't get the reverence people have for this series other than the fact that OoT kept them distracted while their parents were getting a divorce.
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pikachu bukkake - Sat, 18 Jan 2020 13:15:51 EST z1gjD5uP No.748416 Reply
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>>748412
>>748412
>>748412
YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU
YOOOU FUCKING MOTHERFUCKER SHUT THE FUCK UP


>All of them.

Really? Not even oneof them is good?? Shut the fuck up

>LoZ is a shit tier franchise marred with pointless time wasting and dillydallying

Oh my fucking god, I'm literally fuming with rage right now I'm not even kidding. Most LoZ games are the opposite of a waste of time. There's no mindless grinding stat numbers bullshit like the shit games you probably like. Most items you get are through carefully crafted objectives, you rarely ever buy an item or a skill on a zelda game, you get stronger through overcoming diverse challenges and puzzles. You shut your fucking whore mouth because you probably played 2 zelda games at max and you sucked at it so you got mad.

>every interaction gets filled up with unnecessary animations and sound effects that make a 1-second interaction take 10

OH NOOOOO!!!!! A 10 SECOND ANIMATION?!?!?!?!?!!?!!????!!?!?!!! A fucking 10 second animation that increases your hype for the item you're about to get? What a crime! What kind of little baby attention span do you have when this is a primary reason why you don't like an entire series?

>It's a 30 minutes of actual substance spread out over a 30 hour game, it's just the fucking worst

What the actual FUCK are you talking about? Zelda games are CRAMMED with puzzles, CRAMMED with cryptic clever shit for you to find out, CRAMMED with attention to detail, in extremely sophisticated dungeons that you'd not be able to design if you had a 420 iq. Have you ever played a zelda game?

>I can't believe people actually give Red Dead Redemption shit for flow-breaking animations but give LoZ a free pass.

Don't you fucking DARE put a cutscene simulator normiefest shooty game on the same level as carefuly crafted games such as zelda games. RDR2 prioritizes animations to a point where basic character animations have comically high amounts of latency, and absolutely every single thing you do in the game has an animation that takes as much time as it takes in real life to perform; meanwhile zelda games have snappy character controls, time-saving mechanics, much, much shorter cutscenes, and you know, are ACTUALLY GOOD. You have to be absolutely out of your mind to think that you can even compare RDR2 with zelda in terms of wasting your time.

>The only good one was A Link to the Past because it didn't cram this patronizing bullshit down your throat.

That's how I know that you barely even played any fucking zelda game. Because if you had, you'd know that a link between worlds is better than a link to the past in every single respect. And if 3D zeldas are not your thing, there are TONS of fucking amazing 2D zelda games, such as minish cap. And you know that you'd enjoy these games, since you enjoyed a link to the past but NOOOOOOOOO, you have to be dishonest and a fucking NEGATIVE NANCY and ignore the games you fucking KNOW you would like just so you canflap your fucking gums about shit you don't understand on the internet.

>Don't even get me started on Link's Awakening remake with it's twee faux-tilt shift DoF that looks like vasaline squirted out of a prostitute's ass

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! DEPTH OF FIELD?!?!?!! IN MYYYYY VIDEOGAMES?!?!?!?!?!?!!? Shut the FUCK up. I'm 101% sure that Kazuhiko Takahashi has a better understanding of art direction than you have

>I just don't get the reverence people have for this series other than the fact that OoT kept them distracted while their parents were getting a divorce.

Well, then maybe you have a fucking low IQ, ever thought about that? Maybe you have a fucking low Iq and that's the reason why you can't understand basic things that everyone else is able to understand, maybe that's the reason why you don't get fucking zelda, fuck you
>>
James Sunderland - Sat, 18 Jan 2020 13:21:05 EST EFOEzMKZ No.748417 Reply
>>748412
You know you fucked up when Brazil is making better posts than you.
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Princess Farah - Sat, 18 Jan 2020 15:52:06 EST 76NIU5gx No.748421 Reply
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>>748416
took me a while to figure out what loz was...and i have to say that zelda is shit
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Rayman - Sat, 18 Jan 2020 18:35:07 EST noL7S+Qv No.748429 Reply
>>748416

lol i made a raging post like this defending breaking bad one time. nice work.
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Yugo Ogami - Sat, 18 Jan 2020 19:55:46 EST 2Fb9kySD No.748431 Reply
>>748416
So you CAN actually make a semi valid argument. Except for calling rdr2 normie shit. I mean so is Zelda. And if you think any of Zeldas puzzles are hard, then you are just bad at puzzle games. Majoras Mask and Master Quest are not hard either. Either way comparing Zelda to Red Dead is fucking stupid, they're completely different games. Its like comparing Super Metroid to StarCraft. Theyre completely different. You really need to grow up man. You're the same age as me(26), and you still flip your shit over some anons opinion.
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Yugo Ogami - Sat, 18 Jan 2020 19:57:33 EST 2Fb9kySD No.748432 Reply
>>748429
I mean I think breaking bad is boring as shit, but I can see why people like it. Different strokes for different folks.
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zeldaman - Sat, 18 Jan 2020 21:24:01 EST z1gjD5uP No.748438 Reply
>>748431
>And if you think any of Zeldas puzzles are hard, then you are just bad at puzzle games.

I don't. I think they're sophisticated and creative, not hard. Didn't say they're hard.

>You're the same age as me(26), and you still flip your shit over some anons opinion.

































































I may or may not be greatly exaggerating my emotions and my stupidity for comical effect, pls don't tell anyone
>>
>>
Dregs - Sat, 18 Jan 2020 21:30:58 EST BmETl52y No.748440 Reply
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>>748416
>LoZ is a shit tier franchise marred with pointless time wasting and dillydallying
That's the truth. Why the fuck am I paying a graveyard keeper so I can follow him around at night? Wasn't I supposed to be stopping Gannon or something like that? Naw, nevermind. I have to put the stallionoo back into this guy's coup so that he'll give me a bottle. Ever play runescape? Every LoZ game is like playing the runescape quest "One small favour" for 30 hours.

>every interaction gets filled up with unnecessary animations and sound effects that make a 1-second interaction take 10
HEY! LISTEN! *tingle makes weird noises for 5 seconds* *goron laughs at every fucking line he says* It's not even about the holding up the item animation. I think we can all agree that's okay. It's about how every character has to have some quirk that they need to get through before you can advance the dialogue.

>It's a 30 minutes of actual substance spread out over a 30 hour game, it's just the fucking worst
A bit hyperbolic, but true. Most of the "puzzles" are just a stupid side quest where you have to fetch something in order to proceed through the story.

>I can't believe people actually give Red Dead Redemption shit for flow-breaking animations but give LoZ a free pass.
Shots fired. Fair comparison, despite the difference in gameplay.

>The only good one was A Link to the Past because it didn't cram this patronizing bullshit down your throat.
Agreed. You'd just travel around, beating dungeons if you could. And if you couldn't, you knew you were in the wrong dungeon and needed another item. I've actually played a few of the games all the way through. They're linear as fuck but pretend to be open world.

>Don't even get me started on Link's Awakening remake with it's twee faux-tilt shift DoF that looks like vasaline squirted out of a prostitute's ass
Depth of field does not belong in video games. My eyes can see the whole screen. It's fucking distracting.

>I'm 101% sure that Kazuhiko Takahashi has a better understanding of art direction than you have
You haven't seen his work, so you have no idea who the better artist is. And even if you did still feel that way, it's just your opinion.

>I just don't get the reverence people have for this series other than the fact that OoT kept them distracted while their parents were getting a divorce.
This. People are just nostalgic for it. OoT was a boring piece of shit. Simple hero's journey story coupled with "I'm a kid and he's a kid so kids can do anything" bullshit. The puzzles are made for children, too. It's decent gameplay, I guess. But nobody over the age of 10 should have any difficulty with it. And that's why it's boring. Zero challenge, zero skill, easy puzzles, boring NORMIE fantasy story that's been told for most of humanity's history.
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Dregs - Sat, 18 Jan 2020 21:32:59 EST BmETl52y No.748441 Reply
>>748440
lol cat planets are great. Even stallion o o cat planets to stallionoo. Thanks Kirt.
>>
Dregs - Sat, 18 Jan 2020 21:33:58 EST BmETl52y No.748442 Reply
>>748441
Damn. Well I'm talking about the chickens. These cat planets are getting better at doing their job.
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Yugo Ogami - Sat, 18 Jan 2020 21:39:51 EST 2Fb9kySD No.748443 Reply
>>748438
I mean you said Majoras Mask and Master Quest are hard. And they're not
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Jimmy Hopkins - Sat, 18 Jan 2020 21:51:19 EST JnCi6abM No.748444 Reply
>>748442
It's like the "One Flew Over the stallionoo's Nest" incident all over again.
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B.J. Blazkowicz - Sat, 18 Jan 2020 23:48:44 EST lxIo//Em No.748447 Reply
>>748412
Links Awakening was better than LttP. You've either never played them both or your opinions should be red flagged as those of a retard if you think otherwise. I haven't played the remake because I'm not paying money to replay something in a less aesthetically pleasing style but I agree with you it doesn't look like anything to get super excited about.

And OoT was good because it distracted me while my mom got a divorce from my sister's dad, she was never married to mine.
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ganon's sexual slave - Sun, 19 Jan 2020 15:37:07 EST z1gjD5uP No.748483 Reply
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>>748440
>Why the fuck am I paying a graveyard keeper so I can follow him around at night?

To get a heart piece, you fucking MORON. You don't need to do that, you just need to open na obvious tomb and get in the hole, but you thought you were supposed to play the dampé game because you're a total fucking noob

>stallionoo

lmao

>I think we can all agree that's okay. It's about how every character has to have some quirk that they need to get through before you can advance the dialogue.

You're literally fucking lying. I don't remember ever seeing any dialog thing that you can't skip or ignore on ocarina of time, you're literally fucking lying you sneaky, weasily, slippery little bitch

>A bit hyperbolic, but true. Most of the "puzzles" are just a stupid side quest where you have to fetch something in order to proceed through the story.

judging from what you have said, I can confidently say that you're such a noob that you didn't even get into any of the major dungeons, so you haven't even had to solve any puzzles because you didn't even get to them, ya fucking noob

>Shots fired. Fair comparison

yeah, that's what a noob would say

>I've actually played a few of the games all the way through. They're linear as fuck but pretend to be open world.

I'm 420% sure you didn't. And only the early 3D zeldas had the linear open world thing, but the original zelda for the nes, or a link between worlds and breath of the wild are very open world.

>You haven't seen his work, so you have no idea who the better artist is

he doesn't like Zelda, and this is scientific, empirical evidence that his opinion on art direction is shit

>Zero challenge, zero skill, easy puzzles, boring NORMIE fantasy story that's been told for most of humanity's history.

BRO, FUCKING, YOU FUCKING DIDN'T GET PAST THE DAMPÉ GRAVEYARD PART, WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TO BE PRETENDING TO BE AN EPIC GAMER SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU FUCKING NORMLORD
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Jimmy Hopkins - Sun, 19 Jan 2020 15:45:47 EST JnCi6abM No.748485 Reply
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>>748483
If this is the type of person who represents the LoZ fanbase, I don't think I want anything to do with it. Dear Lord.
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Yugo Ogami - Sun, 19 Jan 2020 16:15:01 EST 2Fb9kySD No.748487 Reply
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>>748485
I dont think any of the fans are this awful. Brazilfag just thinks acting like a little kid is funny. He punches monitors and fucks dogs. Im pretty sure hes enthusiastic. I love the zelda series, but every game after link to the past is easy unless you're trying to get everything, and thats ok. Its really the music and atmosphere that make the game. I dont know why brazilfag is calling people normies for not liking zelda, when zelda is specifically made for normies and children. If you havent played any zeldas id recommend OoT or Twilight Princess.
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ganon's sexual slave - Sun, 19 Jan 2020 17:38:18 EST z1gjD5uP No.748492 Reply
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>>748487
>I dont know why brazilfag is calling people normies for not liking zelda, when zelda is specifically made for normies and children.

Look, man, it's complicated. I think that Zelda games are kind of like Chopin's pieces. It's easily digestible by normies, but so well made. I guess you can say that they're made for normies, but they're so much more carefuly crafted than other games that are made to sell a lot that it's hard to call them normie games, you know? Kind of how it'd make no sense that Chopin's digestible pieces are in the same level as Nickelback just because they're both digestible. The complexy of Zelda games is really underappreciated. Even soulsborne games -- which are made for the 3p1c g4m3rs -- are less complex structurally than Zelda games. Much easier to make a soulsborne game than to make a zelda game, let's be honest.
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Yugo Ogami - Sun, 19 Jan 2020 18:14:17 EST 2Fb9kySD No.748493 Reply
>>748492
If you listen to nickleback im disregarding all of your opinions
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i like zelda game - Sun, 19 Jan 2020 18:43:25 EST z1gjD5uP No.748494 Reply
>>748493
what the fuck are you talking about, no I don't, eew
>>
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Yugo Ogami - Sun, 19 Jan 2020 18:55:43 EST 2Fb9kySD No.748495 Reply
>>748494
Nigga you mentioned nickleback. I was just making sure. I mean all games are meant to sell a lot. Nintendo is a company that mainly makes casual normie games. And while Zelda is incredibly well made, its as much of a normie game as Rdr 2. Zeldas not nearly as complex as you think. Especially when my 11 year old niece has already beaten OoT, Majoras Mask, Wind Waker, twilight princess, and a link to the past. It takes her a while to beat them, like a couple months but she still does. No guide or anything.
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ganon's sexual slave - Sun, 19 Jan 2020 19:48:03 EST z1gjD5uP No.748498 Reply
>>748495
>Zeldas not nearly as complex as you think. Especially when my 11 year old niece has already beaten all of the zeldas

Just because it's easy to play doesn't mean it's not sophisticated. It's like saying that Chopin pieces are simple just because it's easy to listen. Designing a Zelda game requires at least a 420 iq. Can you imagine how hard it would be to design an entertaining dungeon that is to be played both normally and upside down such as the stone tower temple in majora's mask? Designing this shit is some 4D sudoku shit. Playing the temple isn't hard, but can you imagine making sure that the layout is consistent and comprehensible both upright and upside down, that the player path makes sense, that every place is accessible when it should be, and then create puzzles that work within this framework; there's so much shit that can go wrong.
>>
Dregs - Sun, 19 Jan 2020 20:32:47 EST BmETl52y No.748499 Reply
>>748498
Why don't you get off Link's dick for a second so he can be involved in some decent gameplay for once.
>>
Morrigan Aensland - Sun, 19 Jan 2020 20:38:58 EST pSnOjw1N No.748500 Reply
>>748498
Do you make games or anything? If not then shut the fuck up. Everyone knows Zelda games are well made. Castlevania Symphony of the night did the same thing by flipping the castle upside down.
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ganon's sexual slave - Sun, 19 Jan 2020 21:12:45 EST 5V9wfbij No.748503 Reply
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>>748499
link is kinda boring looking. I'd be a power bottom for ganon

>>748500
yes, I make shit games. I'm making a game right now. I had to restart the production of MaryJane and Keef 2 because of some massive bugs going on with the game engine I'm using. I'm making an entirely diferent game now, but it's still gonna be the sequel to maryjane and keef. IT'S GONNA BE THE BEST GAME OF ALL TIME YOU ARE NOT READY
>>
Gannondorf - Sun, 19 Jan 2020 21:21:02 EST uo28BM46 No.748504 Reply
>>748503
Keep working at it bud. Maybe by the time youre in your 30s you can make a game as good as like undertale or yooka laylee or some shit. Or get a job at a decent game company. I saw gameplay of the first mary jane and keef. And while it looked like a bad steam game that I would never play, I could never in my life imagine myself being capable enough to make it. Are you gay though? I dont know if you're just joking or not. Theres nothing wrong with gays, im just wondering. Because if you are it would make alot more sense than some straight 26 year old Brazillian guy trolling /vg/ with names like pikachu diddler or dicksuckster.
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King K. Rool - Sun, 19 Jan 2020 21:24:44 EST j0uAWvGW No.748505 Reply
>>748503
Open source your game so I can fork you in your repository
>>
Kabal - Mon, 20 Jan 2020 11:25:23 EST XUc1sXap No.748523 Reply
>>748504
>Because if you are it would make alot more sense than some straight 26 year old Brazillian guy trolling /vg/ with names like pikachu diddler or dicksuckster.
Would it actually, though? The last one seems more likely tbh.

Also, the first MJ&K was undoubtedly that level of indie Steam jank, but also surprisingly entertaining. It had some very strange elements, a bit of the horrible and disturbing that you could not trust, sitting there behind the scenes.
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Sora - Mon, 20 Jan 2020 22:02:12 EST lxIo//Em No.748546 Reply
>>748503
What engine are you using? Did you switch engines or are you just remaking the project on the same engine piece by piece to see how each piece interacts with the others and taking out the redundant parts?
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Dregs - Tue, 21 Jan 2020 05:21:18 EST BmETl52y No.748554 Reply
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>>748483
>To get a heart piece, you fucking MORON
I know. That's why I did pay the guy to go on his lame, boring, time-wasting walk through the polygons. I was 7 at the time. It wasn't even slightly spooky. I was bored. And you do have to pay him to dig up the graves unless you cheat. And you'd only know how to cheat if you played the shitty game multiple times. Anyway, I ran through that game easily at the age of 7 and you're here saying it's a good game as an adult.

>You're literally fucking lying.
Go back and play it again. The fucking fairy pauses constantly to go "HEY! LISTEN!" and stupid shit instead of just giving the dialogue. And there's no dialogue to advance when it does it. Several times. In the middle of a conversation. Same with the goron blacksmith, except he pauses to laugh. Most of the characters you meet in that game have some stupid quirk like that.

>ya fucking noob
Beat it. Never want to play it again. It's for children.

>I'm 420% sure you didn't.
Zelda in the gold cartridge, Zelda II, Link ot the Past, OOT, Majora's Mask, and Twilight Princess. I'm nearly 30. I'd have to have parents that didn't love me in order to have not beaten at least some Zelda games. Because they're for children. And loving parents buy things for their kids.

>BRO, FUCKING, YOU FUCKING DIDN'T GET PAST THE DAMPÉ GRAVEYARD PART
lol just because I said it was shit doesn't mean I didn't get past it. LoZ is seriously the most normie lame hero's journey ever. It's like they took all the cool parts of Hercules, stripped them away and put the rest in a fairy child who wears a sock as a hat and can only communicate in grunts that range from "huh" to "HYAAA!".
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Dhalsim - Tue, 21 Jan 2020 05:34:27 EST rcXqJXdn No.748555 Reply
>>748498
>like saying that Chopin pieces are simple just because it's easy to listen.
No, Chopin pieces are hard to play, its more like saying that musical works that can be performed by any 11yo without much practice are simple, which they are.
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Princess Farah - Tue, 21 Jan 2020 06:59:59 EST N3FFbTWx No.748556 Reply
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Legend of Zelda is really overrated but not terrible. Honestly most of the 2d ones are good but the 3d ones kind of make me snooze. I haven't finished OoT even though I got the cartridge in like 2010. Maybe I'll finally do that now that I remember I have it. Other games are just more compelling I guess.

Link's Awakening was really good, as was Link to the Past and the two Gameboy color games. Wind Waker was the gayest shit though because of having to hunt for the triforce and doing a bunch of dumb miniquests on the open ocean. Give me some dungeons instead you assholes.
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Solid Snake - Tue, 21 Jan 2020 14:08:57 EST /y07qt+g No.748566 Reply
I don't even remember Telma. Was she from Twilight Snorefest?
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Pinky - Tue, 21 Jan 2020 15:09:21 EST 20WTriXt No.748567 Reply
>She works people out of video games like finding a white turd in the toilet like holy shit.
what did he mean by this?
>>
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Kraid - Thu, 23 Jan 2020 19:47:23 EST bNro5nv+ No.748630 Reply
I had senx so much. My philby trembles
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mj and keef 2 will be the BEST GAME - Thu, 23 Jan 2020 20:36:27 EST HTjWcLVE No.748631 Reply
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>>748504
>>748505
>>748523thanks
>>748546

>>748554
go eat a bag of dildos
>>748556
go eat a bag of dildos


>>748555
>No, Chopin pieces are hard to play

Some are very easy. And I'm not talking about chopin being easy to play, I'm talking about Chopin being easy to listen. Go read what I fucking wrote.

>its more like saying that musical works that can be performed by any 11yo without much practice are simple, which they are

Absolutely false. Being easy to play has little to do with how complex a piece is. Chopin's prelude No.4 for example, has a very subversive harmony that toys with the concept of tonality more than you would usually in a piece from the romantic period.

https://youtu.be/Hj3daBN5F-o

There are countless easy but sophisticated pieces out there, as well as hard but simple pieces.

>>748627
Yes. What about it?

>>748630
Can i see it?
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MJ & Keef 2 will RAPE your mind - Fri, 24 Jan 2020 22:26:35 EST SHTq8KSv No.748666 Reply
>>748665
actually sir, that's an ad lapidem fallacy. youre being intellectually dishonest and a charlatan, okay
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Dregs - Sat, 25 Jan 2020 04:51:48 EST AaQteG9s No.748680 Reply
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>>748666
That's an ad lapidem fallacy, too. I'm currently committing an ad lapidem fallacy. Isn't this fun?

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