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Now Playing on /vg/tube -

The mother of all armchair Hitler games returns

!!cEQLOiCj - Mon, 31 Aug 2020 18:52:23 EST 5nRDyOou No.755733
File: 1598914343248.jpg -(544996B / 532.22KB, 1200x630) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. The mother of all armchair Hitler games returns
It is upon us, the next great Clausewitz Hitler wet dream, CKIII ships tomorrow. Actual unlock time is midday, about 20 hours from now as of posting this.

$50 - base game
$75 - base game, 2 shitty expansions, 1 real expansion, and a cosmetic.
There is some stupid preorder bonus in play as well.

This is the only chance you're gonna get to play this online with randos. I'm buying the upgraded edition, because I clearly haven't learned anything, but I want to hear what you drug addicts fine video gamers think?
Meta Knight - Mon, 31 Aug 2020 18:55:01 EST 0lta+wEM No.755734 Reply
>Buying paradox games instead of pirating them
You deserve the 1000 dollars of DLC they'll be release throughout the year dumbass.
Ridley - Mon, 31 Aug 2020 18:59:23 EST BJtLvEfC No.755735 Reply
It depends on the sort of gamer you are. I've spent about £100 on Stellaris, but that works out at about 13p/hour. And that's babby's first simple PDX game as I understand it. There's been enough changes that it's felt more like I've bought a game, a few DLCs, then a sequel which used the ideas they tested in the DLCs, then a bit more DLC.

But this is very much "your mileage may vary". If you're new, maybe pirate first and then buy/pay in line with what you get out of it. Then everyone wins.
KLEZ.fml !!cEQLOiCj - Mon, 31 Aug 2020 19:06:04 EST 5nRDyOou No.755736 Reply
As I said, I'm getting the first 3 expansions included with the "Royal edition" and 2 of them are going to be pointless. If I pirate the game, assuming they made any changes to Clausewitz copy protection I am at best only gonna be able to play against other pirated copies.

I fully admit this is a hussle, and most people should buy the base game or pirate the fucker if they are single player only. I bought the base Stellaris, which saved me a fair bit on expansions cause the base was terrible. You win some you lose some in the pursuit of multiplayer games that take multiple days to complete. I haven't seen pickup games like that since the Age of Empires 2 days.
I've been burned by Paradox before, but I've also lost more money in a single hand of poker than they've taken me for in a lifetime so, y'know, perspective. Speaking of Paradox, VTM:B2 sure looks like a piece of shit, I hope firing those top two idiots at Hardsuit sets that shitshow right.
Meta Knight - Mon, 31 Aug 2020 19:06:45 EST 0lta+wEM No.755737 Reply
It wouldn't be so bad if the games they released weren't bare boned, depth-less, shallow, modding simulators that pretty much force you wait a year or two to give them extra money just to make them even somewhat worth playing.
KLEZ.fml !!cEQLOiCj - Mon, 31 Aug 2020 19:24:02 EST 5nRDyOou No.755738 Reply
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You're not my mom, you can't stop me from making bad decisions with my money.
Meta Knight - Mon, 31 Aug 2020 19:30:00 EST 0lta+wEM No.755739 Reply
Just like the crusader kings of old, mans hubris has caused him to spend countless for nothing in return.
Otacon - Tue, 01 Sep 2020 15:17:16 EST WW2yIEcR No.755766 Reply
I tried playing CK2 awhile back, but turns out I'm too retarded to understand how the fuck the game works. I'm also to lazy to remedy my retardation by watching tutorials on youtube. I assume CK3 would be the same issue for me since it's probably just as complicated as CK2 is.
Princess Zelda - Tue, 01 Sep 2020 15:26:57 EST 0lta+wEM No.755768 Reply
Just start out by clicking around random shit and seeing how they effect everything around the game, while the games look complicated it's mostly just the smoke and mirrors from the UI being kind of shit and beyond that the game is actually very blunt and simple to figure out. I thought the same thing about victoria 2 when I started playing it in that I might be too retarded to figure it out. But after player it for about 1 hour or so it all started to finally click and it's now become one of my favorite games, so don't give up brother.
KLEZ.fml !!cEQLOiCj - Tue, 01 Sep 2020 17:43:29 EST 5nRDyOou No.755784 Reply
This one is suppose to be more accessible than CKII. Individual results will probably vary.
Ulala - Thu, 03 Sep 2020 06:24:53 EST fpO1DpjD No.755844 Reply
what's funny is that CK is the easiest and kind of least reliant on player input of all the grand strat games to play or pick up. in a way it kind of plays you, which sort of feels right for the time period. it is fun shit though. i cant wait to have like 3 days to just start a new campaign, CK3 looks fun as helllll
Haggar - Fri, 04 Sep 2020 03:03:53 EST iX53gNuC No.755869 Reply
>buying the base game automatically means you buy the DLCs instead of just pirating them
KLEZ.fml !!cEQLOiCj - Fri, 04 Sep 2020 14:18:17 EST 5nRDyOou No.755873 Reply
In CKII you could run pirated expansions on top of a steam activated base copy.

Overall first impressions of the game are... not great. They took CKII, stripped out a lot of the cruft, but the result feels kinda bare bones compared to CKII. I'm playing as a viking and there is just no flavor. No Great Bolt with mass human sacrifices, I can raise a runestone but that is the only special interaction. As far as I can tell Slavs don't hack off their limbs and eyeballs anymore. Human sacrifice is looped into the execute command. There is now a cultural head, and that dictates tech advancement, so even though I have upgraded to a Jarl I have no control over my tech and must defer to Bjron Ironside, a foreign enemy ruler, for what techs get researched.
Raiding pretty much sucks now for both sides of the raid. You seemingly can't sally your levees at raiders like you could in CKII. My raids get mysteriously deathstacked by lords with very small levees and you can't run back to your boat safespace in time anymore, even with movement perks.
I'm taking England back for the Danes and it's just a fucking slog. At least that's still in there, but with the Viking Age being the oldest start date (once again) that play is kind of nerfed by Ivar the Boneless starting with a massive foothold in Pictland.
Although you can play as feudal, inqa, tribal or clan it feels like they only bothered with Catholics. People who actually play Muslims are saying they are completely fucked too due to different branches of Sunni harboring different religious heads. I don't know, it feels like CKII but with every expansion nerfed to its base change to the game.
Ryu Hayabusa - Fri, 04 Sep 2020 15:16:51 EST Nrr6LS/E No.755874 Reply
Playing as a Catholic and it feels pretty full, except for the society stuff which was a bit OP anyway in my opinion. I'm enjoying it. It'll be a while until it's fully fleshed out and covers more ground, but that's just classic Paradox at this point. As it stands though it's honestly better than I expected.
Samanosuke Akechi - Mon, 07 Sep 2020 13:54:47 EST WIcHpr3d No.755946 Reply
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Game is good.

This is coming from someone with over 1000 hours in CK2

CK3 is probably Paradox's most polished game (at release) to date. It's also one of their best selling initial offerings of all time. The game is accessible to new players without getting rid of the depth that made the previous game great.

Pic related; my half-brother and likely murderer... Age 5.
Lich King - Mon, 07 Sep 2020 14:33:18 EST FfU764Ti No.755948 Reply
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>trying to seduce my wife
>plot fails
>character's don't have opinions of themselves, like it just isn't a thing in the game
>still lose 10 opinion of myself

i thought it was pretty funny. i don't think it was a bug, looks more like paradox just being cheeky
Bolozof Velasgo - Mon, 07 Sep 2020 17:50:34 EST fpO1DpjD No.755951 Reply
I totally agree about the level of polish, it's almost surprising that it doesn't feel janky at all really, at least not for me yet.
Shodan - Tue, 08 Sep 2020 12:55:22 EST XxTG/FUc No.755969 Reply
I don't really care about the whining about Paradox's expansion policy. One expansion usually costs me less than 2 packs of smokes, i.e. I spend much more on killing myself over the year than on Paradox expansions.

I'm not gonna buy this yet though, still gonna stick with CK2.
Gotta wait until they, you know, put essential mechanics back in.
Four - Tue, 08 Sep 2020 13:32:35 EST xtI+/C2c No.755971 Reply
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>Smokes cost me more than an expansion

Best decision you could make is not to waste your money on either, Shodan.
Better yet, pirate it, play it for a bit, then purchase it if multiplayer is your thing.
KLEZ.fml !!cEQLOiCj - Tue, 08 Sep 2020 13:55:10 EST 5nRDyOou No.755972 Reply
The Viking age feels very barebones. It seems like they tried to remake CKII with everything pre old gods, some Conclave a dash of Jade Dragon and most of the Holy Fury content. Ecclesiastic cults are gone (Monks and Mystics was garbage anyway).
Gone are the cool execution sounds of Reaper's Due (prettymuch all Reaper's Due stuff is gone), the great bolts, I'm unsure if Jews are even a thing now. Retinues are pooled with levee stacks. I haven't fucked with the ME much but I assume Sun worshippers and Zoroastrian pedophiles are similarly nerfed, if they exist at all. Oh, and don't even get me started on how fucking stupid the AI is this time around. Overall it feels like CKII - baby edition for pearl clutching retards.
I never gave a shit about aesthetics and I don't see improvement much of anywhere else. Mostly just nerfing to make it more palatable to your typical mouth breathing COD player.
KLEZ.fml !!cEQLOiCj - Tue, 08 Sep 2020 13:57:16 EST 5nRDyOou No.755973 Reply
Oh and you can't fuck your sister until she's 19, despite the age of chattel slavery being 16 in these games. How does that make any fucking sense?
Shodan - Tue, 08 Sep 2020 16:09:18 EST XxTG/FUc No.755974 Reply
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Pirating is for those who can't afford to purchase it. But now that I have a good income, I want to pay for it.

After all people worked their asses off for my time sink entertainment here. Gotta show some appreciation.
Four - Tue, 08 Sep 2020 16:31:19 EST z9OayjEL No.755975 Reply
I would agree with you if it wasn't Paradox. You do realize they will try to fleec you with all the DLC that you will feel compelled to purchase, right?
At some point during its development, they held back some features just to sell it back to you later on.

I got burned too, you know. I love the shit out of Cities skylines but the base game was bland and buying 12 expansions just to make it decent was just too much.
KLEZ.fml !!cEQLOiCj - Tue, 08 Sep 2020 18:17:31 EST 5nRDyOou No.755977 Reply
Think they'll have the balls to sell us a character customizer again? An importer for EU5 when that drops?

Paradox is kind of a pisstake when it comes to DLC, but if it's that or MTX, I'll take the Christmas Hymns DLC over the Crusader Store any day.

As shitty as all the DLC stuff is, Paradox still hasn't broken the golden rule of "No MTX." Even my beloved CDPR signaled intent to break the "No MTX" rule in the future.
Yugo Ogami - Wed, 09 Sep 2020 08:37:46 EST Wr3mzCGH No.755987 Reply
I don't know why some CK fans are convinced that the old DLC should be included in the base game, as if they can just copy/paste it without doing a ton of work. I know the game looks almost identical, but it isn't.
Claude - Thu, 10 Sep 2020 00:01:14 EST yKEUAGzE No.756009 Reply
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They'll sell us a character customizer and instead of balancing it well they'll make it disable achievements again, too.

Like fuck guys if you're gonna disable achievements then let me get retarded and make some absurd shit. I wanna start as a giant with incurable cancer, 600 in every stat, and a 100% chance that all my kids get imbecile and dwarf and a game rule that only lets me marry siblings
M. Bison - Thu, 10 Sep 2020 02:41:36 EST cF+i33x4 No.756011 Reply
I think all the arguments about the Paradox DLC stuff are stupid.

CK2 is a game that was released in 2012. It received expansions for SEVEN YEARS, one released every six months. For new players in 2019, that probably seemed like a shitload of DLC, but as someone who preordered CK2 (yes I am an OG fan thank you for noticing), it was really easy to buy them as they came out, and I was happy they released new DLC so often.

You don't have to buy the DLC, at all. The game is a 100% complete game at launch. On top of that, they add features to the game for free when DLC comes out. I don't know what people's problem with this is, to be honest.

You can maybe decry the cosmetic stuff, like when the game originally released Africans were all white until the African portrait DLC released. But even that is kind of dumb. A lot of games charge for cosmetics.

You are getting upset that they are adding content to the game.
M. Bison - Thu, 10 Sep 2020 02:44:12 EST cF+i33x4 No.756012 Reply
FWIW, having played CK2 for over 2000 hours with all DLC, I don't think I'm gonna go back to play it any time soon. CK3 includes all the must have features of CK2 (in my opinion) and more. On top of that, everything is much more cohesive, much more well integrated. CK3 is better than CK2 with all DLC imo. I... I couldn't be more happy with this game. It is amazing.

Curious what essential mechanics you are referring to.
Jon Irenicus - Thu, 10 Sep 2020 02:53:51 EST t8x/HI1Q No.756013 Reply
>the assfucking is okay because they only put in an inch every half a year instead of all at once
Games-as-a-service types like you are actively ruining the concept of gaming for the rest of us. Consider suicide.
KLEZ.fml !!cEQLOiCj - Thu, 10 Sep 2020 14:24:08 EST 5nRDyOou No.756046 Reply
This is not that. These are expansion packs, same concept we've had since the 90's.
The large volume of expansion packs and the frivolousness of the content of the cosmetic/music packs seems to be the point of contrition. Which is, IMO, tolerable specifically cause it isn't the live service thing. Conflating the two is stupid. It's the difference between a fixed software license for a fixed price, or in game shit for mining scripts you have to buy with hard currency. It's not psychologically manipulative, the transaction is clear to both parties. This has nothing to do with live service cancer.
Nick Havoc Parker - Thu, 10 Sep 2020 14:32:28 EST BJtLvEfC No.756047 Reply
>the assfucking is okay because it makes me cum buckets
But yeah if you don't buy more expansions you still get patches and can still play the game.

The skin/music/cosmetic packs are stupid but some people buy them and some buy them as a way of "tipping". That part is service like I guess,
> the packs aren't worth the money but your game was worth way more than market price to me in particular so we'll buy this shit instead.

The real issue is that sometimes the game you lose the game you bought and end up with something else even if you don't buy expansions. Not the one people blow up about, because usually it's an improvement and most people like it a lot, but a legit cause for concern when you buy a release game from Paradox. I bought Stellaris and now I have Stellaris 2 for free but I can't play the original or 1+the war expansion now. Just 2. I'm okay with this but understand others may not be
Perry Saturns Hairpiece !!2yqTh/Za - Thu, 10 Sep 2020 16:49:00 EST 7vvy7KNn No.756051 Reply
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>Games-as-a-service types like you are actively ruining the concept of gaming for the rest of us.
Dr. Klein - Thu, 10 Sep 2020 18:51:14 EST WW2yIEcR No.756053 Reply
I never played CK2 so I dunno how much better/worse CK3 is compared to CK2 w/ all the DLCs, but I can say for a first timer that it's a pretty fun game. Seems a bit on the easy side though. Only 30 in game years into the game and I've already conquered all of norway and sweden.
Capt. Falcon - Sat, 12 Sep 2020 00:09:06 EST hXSGfoUp No.756085 Reply

yeah its a pretty easy game, but people play it because they want to feel smart about history or something idk
KLEZ.fml !!cEQLOiCj - Sat, 12 Sep 2020 05:42:41 EST 5nRDyOou No.756091 Reply
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So I reformed my African tribal religion to center around nudity. So that's a thing you can do.
Sora - Sat, 12 Sep 2020 05:48:51 EST 0lta+wEM No.756093 Reply
>Council backgrounds are just copy pasted from European council slots
Damn that's lazy
Waddle Dee - Sat, 12 Sep 2020 09:42:46 EST VmhA8ZbE No.756094 Reply
Hey at least they look somewhat like African people, and not European people with brown skin colour.
Brucie Kibbutz - Sun, 13 Sep 2020 18:09:49 EST WIcHpr3d No.756106 Reply
30 years in?

Wait until your character dies and you have to fucking kill your siblings to keep your "country" together.
KLEZ.fml !!cEQLOiCj - Mon, 14 Sep 2020 10:57:36 EST 5nRDyOou No.756121 Reply
The really shitty thing it does in this version is if you have enough land to make up a secondary kingdom title it'll automatically create the title for your rotten offspring. Shredding titles accomplishes nothing.

Makes forming up Africa a right pain in the ass. On the other side of the planet I had my inheritance completely fucked by glitchy ass Scandinavian Election. It took having two rounds ruined before I figured out I could simply delete the law from a deeply buried submenu.

Succession is completely fucked in this game even for feudal. I had to blob up to imperial size in one lifespan just to deal with the broken succession.
Ike - Mon, 14 Sep 2020 18:49:03 EST WW2yIEcR No.756133 Reply
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Character just died but I saw that coming and managed to give my two Kingdoms to the same son. Both the kingdoms of Norway and Sweden had an option to change succession law to some Scandinavian elective type shit. Basically just made it so vassals could vote on who would inherit the titles.

I nominated the same son to inherit both kingdoms. Norway was easy to get the vote for because I had a ton of voting power there. Sweden was a tougher because I had very little voting power there (not sure exactly how it calculates voting power, think it's something to do with how many well developed counties you have in the kingdom) so I had to murder and blackmail a few key people to make sure they voted the correct way. In the end, the son I nominated won both elections.

Not sure if I'll be able to keep all together after this ruler dies. Gonna try to conquer 40 more counties so I get the requirements for the Scandinavian Empire title and I think that should keep it together as long as the empire goes to my heir.
KLEZ.fml !!cEQLOiCj - Tue, 15 Sep 2020 12:11:38 EST 5nRDyOou No.756153 Reply
Scandinavian Election literally ruined my game by juking a second son into being the player character and giving my primary holding to what should have been my heir but making him an NPC. Thankfully you can delete that retarded shit from the title for 750 prestige/deletion. Wish I'd figured that out sooner on my last round.
Kazooie - Tue, 15 Sep 2020 16:24:01 EST WW2yIEcR No.756160 Reply

Weird, I didn't have any issues with it. I was super vigilant about making sure the right person was being voted for the whole time though because my ruler was getting old and I knew it was just a matter of time before he died. My primary title (Kingdom of Norway) was never in any danger of going to the wrong person because I had super high voting power and all the electors there loved me, so at worst I could've lost the Kingdom of Sweden which would've happened if it were under that partition shit anyway. Just used some hooks to force people to vote for my candidate and murdered someone who wouldn't vote the right way to make sure I got Sweden as well.

I think under that system your heir is determined by whichever son gets voted for on your primary title. Maybe there are some bugs or some shit with it that I don't know about, but it worked out perfectly for me and I'm in a much better situation because of it. I'm definitely only keeping it until I can get the Scandinavian empire title though and then I'll try to switch it to something else because managing the election was stressful when I was worried I could croak from old age at any moment lol.
KLEZ.fml !!cEQLOiCj - Tue, 15 Sep 2020 16:52:13 EST 5nRDyOou No.756161 Reply
Yes my 2ndary heir had more votes than the primary which caused the issue. I think it is because the kingdom title was Sweden and my capital of Gotland is not a historical elector title. I'm inferring a bit here based on how election succession worked in CKII, a handful of fixed titles held the voting power.
Kos-Mos - Thu, 17 Sep 2020 08:03:42 EST VmhA8ZbE No.756234 Reply
Why does your king look like he just smoked some heavy duty shit?
TCHEEWHOOAHWHOAH - Thu, 17 Sep 2020 12:54:59 EST 3dn3tp38 No.756239 Reply
klez is a SHIT mod
I do not respect his authority
TCHEEWHOOAHWHOAH - Thu, 17 Sep 2020 14:35:18 EST 3dn3tp38 No.756243 Reply
Ryu Hayabusa - Thu, 17 Sep 2020 15:00:22 EST rweTaUas No.756244 Reply
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It's brazilfag, don't listen to him. He's craving attention becauseno one replies to him.
TCHEEWHOOAHWHOAH - Thu, 17 Sep 2020 15:16:17 EST 3dn3tp38 No.756245 Reply
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no one responds to me¿ LMAO

take a look at my extremely successful thread portfolio:

and these are just the one in the first page, i'm a fucking celebrity, my threds are doing than iron man numbers I AM A GOD
Dr. Breen - Thu, 17 Sep 2020 18:24:45 EST WW2yIEcR No.756253 Reply
>take a look at my extremely successful thread portfolio

This might be the gayest thing I've ever read
KLEZ.fml !!cEQLOiCj - Thu, 17 Sep 2020 20:44:22 EST 5nRDyOou No.756256 Reply
Yep, that's how brfag rolls. Why Thermo won't humanely euthanize him is beyond me. He's clearly rabid.
Chihuahua Enabler - Thu, 17 Sep 2020 22:19:45 EST 3dn3tp38 No.756258 Reply
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do you wanna see my fingernail collection???
KLEZ.fml !!cEQLOiCj - Fri, 18 Sep 2020 19:12:49 EST 5nRDyOou No.756276 Reply
Thanks for the derail, dograper.

Moving on...

The religious system seems good on the surface but lacks depth. I can't seem to top naked viking swingers. I guess I could do a cannibal slav sisterfuckers run, but you have to get 5 generations deep in inbreeding before the extra retard babies stop. Doesn't seem possible without the ability to directly select heir (I think min 1200 AD, probably much later for shitty tribal cultures).

The Partition (gavelkind) shit being so strict this time around really knocks the wind out of this game.
Dr. Klein - Sat, 19 Sep 2020 19:55:37 EST vHFds3Hn No.756310 Reply
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Has anyone found Glitterhoof yet?
I'm not buying this game if I can't wage a war of extermination against mankind in the name of friendship.
KLEZ.fml !!cEQLOiCj - Sun, 20 Sep 2020 04:37:40 EST 5nRDyOou No.756323 Reply
bronyfag! Where ya been? I need help, brfag keeps trying to derail the tread.

I haven't seen Glitterhoof yet.

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