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Van life

- Thu, 11 Jan 2018 22:19:48 EST VWIRaXmQ No.35585
File: 1515727188380.gif -(986628B / 963.50KB, 240x158) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Van life
I'm starting an extended road trip in my camper van tomorrow.

I'm doing this because I'm pretty sure I have avoidant personality disorder and every tactic I've tried to force myself to interact regularly with people I know has failed. Anytime I socialize with people my brain just goes into fucking retard mode afterwards and keeps summoning up memories of things I did that I rationally know are no big deal at all and giving me horrible anxiety over them. It's worse with people I know and care about. My rational mind is a slave to my emotions; I'm just not strong enough to push through. I figure at the root of the issue is a lack of self esteem and a lack of self control. I think I can work on both by training martial arts and getting out of my room and acquiring more life experiences.

In the past when I tried to take martial arts classes I always felt like I embarrassed myself and wasn't able to make myself go back. On the road I can just go to a new place and start all over fresh each time, abusing free trials so I don't have to pay for the lessons. It will be a good way to get some exposure therapy while still satisfying my avoidant tendencies. Regular interactions and friendships will come later hopefully.

My first destination will be Florida to wait out the coldest part of the year, then I'll start heading west to California and then go north up the coast as the seasons change so I stay nice and comfy. Looking forward to that legal weed out west. I have some tools I can use to earn some money and some savings, so I hope I can keep it going for a while.

I guess I just made this thread so I have somewhere to talk about what happens, although anyone else is free to talk about similar experiences ITT. I hope you don't mind some blogposting. Wish me luck.
David Cacklestock - Fri, 12 Jan 2018 16:50:28 EST 9llMy1Qd No.35586 Reply
Good luck friendo. Wish I could go on a long ass road trip too. How are you able to afford it?
OP - Sat, 13 Jan 2018 20:44:31 EST Qj4+cb55 No.35587 Reply
I'm chilling in the parking lot of a walmart on James Island just outside of Charleston. So far it's been nothing but driving. Tomorrow I'll get to Florida and start exploring.

Thanks dude. It's easy to save up money when you don't have a social life and live with your parents. I've was working for a home improvement contractor for almost two years and then my father gave me some money to fix up my grandmother's old house before resale so I've got like 8k in savings after buying the van and some tools. I've got everything I need to paint and do various home improvement stuff although most places you need to be licensed to do it legally. I doubt anything would happen though. I'd like to work as a subcontractor rather than a contractor so I can keep learning from guys and expanding my skills, but if I can't find any temporary subcontractor work, I'll just paint for people. That I'm pretty good at and know I can do on my own.
Fucking Dellydat - Sat, 13 Jan 2018 22:23:45 EST 4MuLf9Tp No.35588 Reply
What type of van and what all mods did you make to it OP? I'm wanting to do the same thing by the end of the year.
Angus Heblingchog - Sun, 14 Jan 2018 18:29:32 EST jMwVPc+H No.35589 Reply
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It's a Dodge Ram Van B350 (second Gen Ram Van), but it's a 1994 so it looks like a 3500 (third gen Ram Van) because they did a facelift on the B350 the last year it was in production to make it look like the 3500. A company called Roadtrek converted it into an RV. They added a high top, a few compartments on the outside, a stove, range hood, microwave, hot water heater, shower, toilet, refrigerator, generator, A/C, and cabinets. They call it a Roadtrek 190 Versatile. Pic related is pretty much what it looks like except it doesn't have the pinstripes on the side anymore. Amazingly it cost over 100 grand new but I got it for less than 10% of its original cost.

I still have this ambition to try and become a pro if it turns out I'm any good at martial arts because it would allow me to reach a lot of people and influence the world for the better, so I just bought an already built out model rather than trying to build it myself. It was more expensive this way, but I had the money, and I couldn't justify wasting any more time because I'm already almost too old to become a pro. I just added a backup camera and a solar panel and bought new batteries for it.

Tomorrow I'm going to work on building shelves to hold all my tools where the back seats used to be and replace the shower head. Still haven't used the shower but the original doesn't have good pressure when running off the pump, so I bought one that is supposed to increase the pressure somehow. Right now I've just got a bin with all my tools in it and it's impossible to find anything. After that I'm planning on painting it solid white. I've never painted a car before, but I'd like to learn how to do it and save myself money at the same time. I don't need a perfect paint job, I'd just like it to be better than it is now. There's a few spots where the paint has bubbled off and some rust is beginning to form and I'd like to present a good image to customers so they don't think I'm some bum. Not gonna look for work until that is done.
Ernest Povinghig - Mon, 15 Jan 2018 22:21:18 EST BcAl3+RO No.35590 Reply
Well today went horribly. I tried to replace the leaking shower hose and head with a new one, but when I went to unscrew the hose from the faucet, the part that should have stayed stationary turned with the hose. I guess I know why it was leaking. I know nothing about plumbing and I couldn't even figure out how the faucets mounted to the wall so I called about a dozen places trying to find someone that could work on it sometime soon. I had to take a truck stop shower in the meantime. It cost 12 fucking dollars.

Then later in the day while I was driving to the appointment to get my shower looked at, my van stalled and wouldn't start again right as I was about to get on I-95. I ended up blocking the ramp and people started going around me, some on one side, some on the other. I called AAA but my call kept getting dropped. I had to enter my member code about 8 times and they kept transferring me around to other people and then the call would get dropped. It took me over half an hour on the phone just to get my request in and then another 2 hours for someone to show up. Luckily some awesome dude stopped and helped me push my van over to the side of the road so traffic could get by easier about an hour in. I was much more comfortable after that. Now I'm sitting at the auto repair shop. Hopefully they can get me up and running without too much fuss because I don't have anywhere else to go and I don't really want to hang out here forever.
Grover McWilliams - Tue, 16 Jan 2018 01:29:31 EST 4NGFOTkZ No.35594 Reply
Your current priority in life needs to be watching YouTube videos about camper maintenance and basic car repair. Your glorious road trip won't last long if you blow all the cash on other people fixing things that you can 100% handle yourself. I'd also gently suggest investing in a good wrench set while you still have the money.
William Bridgefield - Tue, 16 Jan 2018 21:24:44 EST +jvq7iSe No.35595 Reply
It's not completely the same, but I'm doing an east-west bicycle tour across the country this spring. I'm renting an apartment with my friend right now, waiting for it to get warmer. The plan was to save enough for the first few months rent at a place if I find a city I like during my travels, but I'm still inexperienced, and severely underestimated the cost of living. It's all good though. I wish you luck on your journey.
Eliza Focklehall - Thu, 18 Jan 2018 18:01:01 EST GXrxok7b No.35596 Reply

that's quite an undertaking. what route are you planning? what timeframe? give some details
Fuck Poffingshaw - Fri, 19 Jan 2018 21:23:58 EST 2TLU0FD2 No.35597 Reply
Funny, that was actually my original plan, but I got hit by a truck 2 days in and broke my arm and had to get surgery to put it back in place and that was the end of that. OP here btw. I realized after that that all the people who kept telling me how dangerous biking was weren't exaggerating. The dude just totally ignored right of way. I came incredibly close to being crushed by the truck, The back wheels slammed into my back and knocked me off the bike. I hope you have better luck than I did.
Charles Wummletet - Sun, 21 Jan 2018 19:37:03 EST h8/Q2Iwt No.35604 Reply

Yeah, kind of this. I can't really gather from your OP what kind of mechanic knowledge you have, but honestly I'd have expected someone traveling out of a van or camper to have enough mechanical know-how to be able to fix most basic fixes such as alternator, starter, minor engine repairs, electric work/soldering and wiring.

I've been doing all of my own car repairs for the last 2-3 years now and have hundreds of dollars of tools, but I still wouldn't feel comfortable traveling cross country try in a motor vehicle.

Sorry to hear about your trouble, op. Best of luck to you though, and definitely do everything you can to brush up your mechanical/plumbing skills haha no harshness intended. If you ever have any questions about car stuff or plumbing ask them here, I might even be able to help some.
Cornelius Suzzleshaw - Wed, 24 Jan 2018 22:21:57 EST yacdOO2m No.35613 Reply
I went to my first martial arts class today. Their website said no gi grappling was today, but it was actually gi BJJ so I borrowed one. It went alright but one of the purple belts that showed me stuff gave me a look like I was an idiot when I kept screwing up and said a few polite but condescending remarks. I know I need to grow a thicker skin since this is nothing, but it still bothers me. I just nodded along when the owner talked about pricing, it made me feel kind of guilty because I knew I wasn't going to ever pay him anything.

I guess I could learn all that shit, but I don't really want to. I can just earn money from doing things I know how to do already and pay people who specialize in that. That's the whole point of capitalism. The way I figure, I just need to work 6 days to pay for all the repairs I had people do so far. That's not so bad. I hear there's a lot of home improvement work to be done in Florida because of the hurricanes. I can probably find something.
Cornelius Sindlebodge - Thu, 25 Jan 2018 18:54:45 EST GXrxok7b No.35614 Reply

i hate discussing martial arts on the internet because for every person doing traditional classical training there are 1000 MMA monkeys with primitive opinions, and most people never even consider people might train for different reasons. but if you seriously want to develop martial skill you need to pick 1 art and stick to it for 5-10 years before switching. hopping across dojos will give you a preview of many different teaching styles, combat strategies, and dojo cultures but it will be like trying to climb a mountain by testing out 40 different trails and only going a few steps up each trail. not to mention a deep relationship with your martial arts instructor is a part of the whole thing. you'll never get to an advanced level through bum-scamming. not saying your idea is bad but just have this in the back of your mind. still better to bum-scam your way across a variety of schools than to never learn anything. maybe after your trip you can focus on the style that appealed to you the most. in my opinion the farther back your instructor can trace their lineage (preferably to asia), the better.

also one flaming burning searing red flag of DO NOT WANT is if they have any form of "junior blackbelt." that is a warning sign they are willing to compromise their integrity for the sake of money. this is big in karate and taekwondo due to how many diluted mcdojos are out there.
Ebenezer Cuttingsutch - Tue, 13 Feb 2018 09:53:05 EST cVrD0cTG No.35648 Reply
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I went to a Mardi Gras parade last night in Fairhope AL. It was an intensely lonely event for me. Seeing all those people with their friends and families while I was all by myself was pretty horrible. There weren't a lot of bars around and no open containers or anything so I stayed sober (I don't really like alcohol anyway) so I was unable to really talk to anyone.

They kept throwing things, mostly beads, at me from the floats even though I never once put up my hands or yelled because I had no desire for any of the things they were throwing. I must have ended up with nearly a hundred bead necklaces that I don't know what I'm going to do with. The floats were kind of neat but I'm just sitting here in my van feeling pretty depressed and eating junk food and I have no desire to go to another one. I was going to drive to New Orleans but all the parades today there are in the morning. There are more parades in Mobile, but I'll probably skip them too. It was just too lonely and depressing and not that much fun to be surrounded by people who are actually having fun.

It reminds me of why I dropped out of college. I was constantly surrounded by people having fun with friends while I remained alone, unable to make any connections with people and it depressed me to the point where I couldn't get out of bed.
Barnaby Gibblechedge - Sun, 18 Feb 2018 06:23:49 EST QzoqRps2 No.35654 Reply

when you get home, create a gritty depressing anime based on your experiences. i can see it in my mind's eye, a man with jeans and a white button-up shirt and scruffy black hair, walking around with a beer in hand at this huge festival, glowering with anger and disappointment, a little black squiggle cloud above his head...
Edward Fanforth - Thu, 03 May 2018 21:48:45 EST wpZAUfI8 No.35741 Reply
I'm still on my trip but at this point I just want to go home. I've basically failed to change again, as always. Asking me to socialize with people is like asking a person with a fear of heights to climb a 50 foot tree. I just can't make myself do it, even just to go to martial arts classes, even with the ability to never go back. I just can't deal with the fear and anxiety I feel.

Isolating myself even farther on the trip was the exact opposite of what I needed to do. I know my depression will never go away unless I end the isolation, and if the depression is there, it will make it harder to do everything, including controlling myself and challenging myself and interacting with people. I can't just fight through it. I need to end the depression by ending the isolation and this roundabout strategy didn't work. None of my strategies work because I don't have any self control and cannot follow through on any of the plans I make to help myself.
James Randi - Wed, 16 May 2018 11:00:41 EST EzI0kQcU No.35748 Reply
Just started reading your thread. I wish you luck on your journey brother.
I suggest going to a rainbow gathering. There you will meet a lot of other odd ball people who live in vans. They can give you advice, their willing to listen to your problems and mostly genuinely want to help.

Also try looking for meet ups on various sites like couch surfing on face book. That way if it goes sour then you can just bail with no social consequences.
Also try an app called park 4 night. Idk if it works in the us but it lists all the spots you can park over night, lit's prices of camp spots, shows free ones and water points.

Good luck man.
Nathaniel Hivingnotch - Mon, 09 Jul 2018 02:02:36 EST DsCjOcK1 No.35819 Reply
OP how old are you? You've got to find some other reason to live than other people. If you continue to worry about how little you talk to other people your anxiety will grow and grow. It's a feedback loop! The only way to break it is to just stop caring about other people and all the supposedly great bullshit your missing out on.

Social experiences on a friday night? Trite wastes of time where you spend money on bad food you could just cook at home.

Adventures and escapades? They may make for interesting stories but it's unlikely that you've accomplished anything meaningful, and may get arrested, hurt, or damage something someone else cares for.

Sex? You are programmed to care so much about sex but it's really not all that great, in it's own right.

Love? Sure, it might be nice to have on-tap happiness but most people who fall in love fall out of love at some point, and the only reason they stay together is due to some outside pressure from friends, family, or the larger economic reality. Life is easier with a partner, but is that what you really want?

Go read some philosophy like The Stranger or Nausea or Meditations by Marcus Aurelius or whatever! Just start educating yourself about how many other people have gone through what you're going through, and rather than whining and running around in circles about their situation they've decided to do something great. And guess what? Do you think you aren't the person to do something great? Well it doesn't matter, because in the end we all die. Try to be something! ]

I was in your position a few years ago and I had the same thoughts of hopelessness. I learned that there is no wrong person to talk to when you're in that state of mind. Just acting cool and sayign dumb things to anyone who will listen. A good way to get someone to listen to you is to listen to their dumb shit first. Try working at a gas station and talking to the alcoholics, that worked for me!
Phineas Bardwill - Sat, 06 Apr 2019 00:59:31 EST KixuK85C No.36004 Reply
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Mobile hermit time.
James Randi - Tue, 09 Apr 2019 05:52:03 EST Mu189NpG No.36006 Reply
OP you should start using the same name every time you post.
It makes it easier to follow the narrative.
Keep on keeping on man. The first part of my travels were pretty disastrous so dont loose faith.

Also what do you do when you get some where?
Sitting in your van all day is gonna make you go mad.

Try volunteering at various places that interest you. I highly recommend organic farms the owners are always desperate for free help and they are always eccentric weirdos, work for food and gas.
Maybe look for some conventions of things your interested in around the country to visit.

You mentioned Cali, whats waiting for you there? Do you just wanna go and see where the road takes you?

I also recomend spending some time watching youtube videos on mechanics, handy man stuff, camping, bush craft.
These things are your new life skills to survive.
Check out a few rainbow gatherings, Idk if you would enjoy them as I don't know you at all. But if you hate it you can always pack up and leave. I ussualy meet some wild and chill people there.

Good luck.
infectious - Tue, 04 Jun 2019 01:38:28 EST cVVVTeXR No.36038 Reply
Hey OP, I know you haven't posted in a while, but if you are still out there reading this then do as some of the others have suggested and don't make your journey about others. Do you and you will attract the people that will matter to you. Also mass socializing is overrated and going to events such as mardigras might not be the right social group for you. In my opinion it is better to network with decent like minded people that you meet along your journey rather than to try to mingle with the general masses. I also have grown up with social issues, but over time my frustration of not being heard or getting what I wanted while watching others with less than half my qualifications always get what they wanted. I really don't care about socializing, but I tend to overcome my anxiety in order to approach people and ask for whatever it is I want. Now if I do start traveling I sort of planned on using outlets such as bars or volunteering as social hubs in order to find resources that I need while traveling. Socializing while volunteering is fairly easy, but for me being socially awkward it is hard for me to just mingle around and try to converse with random people. Even at say a bar; like what do I do, just walk up to a group of locals or workers and say that I'm not from around here and ask if they have any suggestions for me? To me that is super awkward because I think I am bothering them. But if I am a bother then they will just ask me to leave them alone and I can just shrug it off and move on. As James Randi suggested festivals like the rainbow gathering or since you are in the states something like strange creek. Also James Randi would know what he's talking about if you haven't seen his thread. I want to make a similar trip around america and canada, but I think I will hitch and use P/T like buses or trains to travel in order to reduce insurance and gas expenses. I plan to travel from state to state choosing my destinations by resources and recreation such as fishing or hiking. Also find occasional work through workaway, woof or hostels. I want to stay in one area for about a week or so depending on the action and what I have going on there such as temporary income. When not working just hike, camp, fish or whatever else I want. Then just move on to the next place.
Emma Gundlehad - Sat, 08 Jun 2019 21:57:39 EST g3W7fD/I No.36048 Reply
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My kind of van life.
Augustus Bicklewill - Wed, 12 Jun 2019 02:38:57 EST 0VBSoGxS No.36052 Reply
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ha another person who has a personality disorder who wants to live the van life, as someone with BPD I can't wait to put all my earthly belongings into a rickety old vehicle, travel around the country and make friends for a week who I have no intention of ever seeing again
Nathaniel Bettingpick - Tue, 18 Jun 2019 11:21:34 EST UvX5/QoJ No.36055 Reply

this makes me think of that dinkle film, the train station or whatever
Nell Sankinson - Thu, 20 Jun 2019 07:38:32 EST tX7FKdaX No.36056 Reply
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Ayy I'm on a roadtrip in a Chevy Van with the boys right now going from Norway to Dessel, Belgium. Currently in Hamburg.
Hope you overcome your SA OP!

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